Demons @ MindSay

Now, I've never had groupies, nor have I ever been one, but I can imagine how it would feel to be a groupie. To be in the acknowledged entourage of a really famous person. A rock star, maybe. Or a famous author (does Stephen King have groupies?) or even, gasp, a politician.  For those who were traveling about with Jesus, it might have been a little like that. 

Oh, look, I know him. He's with the rabbi, Jesus! Yes, him! We can ask him where Jesus is, sure, come on!

And then, Peter or John or James or Andrew would be approached by some wide-eyed supplicant, someone who recognized them, someone who would ask them to please ask Jesus to come out and help/speak/heal/show his face.

It must have been gratifying, in these early days, for the friends of Jesus to be so approached. So naturally, they went to Jesus and said, "Hey, everyone's looking for you!"

Jesus, though, had a job to do and it wasn't to be the Celebrity du Jour.

"Let's go into the neighboring villages so that I can preach there. It's why I've come," Jesus told his friends. 

But that's not what I wanted to write about, here. It's merely a note on human nature compared to a nature wholly given over to God's purpose.  It's not about ogling, it's about obedience.

I prayed about what to share from the next segment in Scripture, Mark 1:29-45.   What happens in this section is that Jesus goes and heals and goes and speaks and goes and drives out demons.  He heals Peter's mother-in-law (which was probably helpful for Peter's domestic harmony!) He was crowded by others who pressed against him, trying to get closer and closer so that HE would see THEM.

People just wanted Jesus to do things for them.  People are often still the same way, really. They seek Jesus when they want something.

That's not a bad thing, but it's not the only reason one should seek him.

But that's not what struck me this morning, either, as I prayed about what to point out from this passage. I felt this inner voice that chided me with a smile, saying, "Sandi, you don't shut up and listen too often, do you?"

Chagrined, I shook my head.  "No, I don't guess I do. I need to work on that.  Help?"

And then, I saw something in this passage that struck me:  Jesus told the demons to be quiet, because they knew him. He forbade them to speak of him. Period.  And they did not. They were silent. And though people brought demon-possessed people to see Christ, and though he did indeed command the demons to leave and they left, they were obedient to him and were silent. 

When he healed a man of a dreadful skin condition, the man was willing to acknowledge that Jesus could do this. He was. But when Jesus said, "Don't tell anyone, but go make your offerings as directed by Moses so that you can be readmitted into fellowship and worship with the people again" the man did not keep his mouth shut.  Instead, he went and told everyone what had happened.

Now.  I am sure that the man was not being deliberately rebellious as much as he was praising God for the miracle wrought in his personal life and body.  And because this was likely his heart's condition, he was not reprimanded.  However, there were consequences.

For Jesus.

Because of this man's praise and his general reputation, Jesus was unable to enter  the cities and towns openly any more. He had to come in by stealth.  Or, stay in the deserted areas.  And still, people came to him from everywhere.

So, Jesus didn't get to sleep under a roof as often, any more.  He didn't get to go to market and find what he wished to eat; he had to have it brought to him.  A certain amount of his personal freedom was taken from him due to his fame.

He got more groupies.

I'm not famous. Never will be famous.  But I can imagine (because I've got this vivid imagination) what it felt like for Jesus.  He knew it would happen at some point, but I wonder if he ever wished, just for a moment...

That human beings were as obedient to his directions for silence as demons.

Humans have free will. We are greatly beloved of God. Still, though, because we imperfectly understand the nature of Christ, we are not as perfectly obedient to Jesus' direct will in our life as demons and unclean spirits.  THEY know who he is, Scripture says. And the demons tremble.  Humans  are having an intense spiritual moment if they get goosebumps. Maybe.

Which is what truly struck me this morning. I am so unaware, so very often, of the Lord's true nature in my life.  I need to work on that, too.

Jehovah's Witnesses often like to pride themselves on not following the "silly" superstitions of men, but as I grew up in the church, I found that attitude to be quite hypocritical.

Living in the world of Jehovah's Witnesses is to live in a haunted world.  A world not haunted by ghosts, or spirits of the dead, but Satan and his evil demon army.  To a Jehovah's Witness, demons are around every corner, and relish inhabiting inanimate objects, hoping to "trojan horse" their way into a Witness home.

I remember nights where I was paralyzed with fear.  I would break into a cold sweat, feeling an eerie presence in my room.  Random, everyday noises would confirm my fears.  I would pray silently to God, even whisper "Jehovah" out loud, as many Witnesses believe that uttering the divine name will "scare" demons away.

These irrational beliefs evolved into full-fledged urban legends shared exclusively by the witness community.  Us kids were constantly warned with stories of the couple that went to see The Exorcist at the theater, how they tried to leave and felt in invisible force holding them down.  There was another tale of the Smurf doll that was taken into a Kingdom Hall, lept up from the child's hands, and ran out of the building, much to the bewilderment of the congregation.  The most famous stories of all, of course, were of the Ouija Board.  After playing the game and deciding it was "demonic," the Witness family would attempt to burn it.  Surprisingly, the board resisted burning, but when it finally succumbed to the flames, a chilling, audible scream came from it--proof positive of demon inhabitation.

My personal favorite is the one obviously designed to be a stern warning to rebellious young Witnesses.  An elder is getting his hair cut at a new barber shop.  As the barber is cutting his hair, the shop empties, and the barber's personality completely changes.  He asks the elder if he is a servant of Jehovah, to which the elders responds affirmatively.  The barber replies, "Your God Jehovah killed our children with the great flood, now we're going after your children!"  The elder flees the barber shop, hair half cut.

Often in Jehovah's Witness folklore, there are a set of rules regarding demon/human interaction:

1. Demons cannot invade the home of a Jehovah's Witness without the Witness's consent.  Thus, they often look to inanimate objects as their "trojan horse," waiting for a Witness to unwittingly buy it at a garage sale.
2. Demons have a strong aversion to the audible pronunciation of "Jehovah."  Often, repeating it enough will cause them to run away from you, as they are afraid you will attract Jehovah's attention.
3. An object inhabited by a demon must be removed from your home and burned in order to keep it away permanently.  A tell-tale sign of a demon-possessed object is it's resistance to burning, especially if the material is normally very combustible.
4. Another common avenue for demons to enter your home is through heavy metal or rap music, or by drug use.  Often, young people are said to have had to burn their "bad" music and tape collections in order to curb the demonic harassment. 
   

It's also interesting to note that many of these accounts of demon attacks actually describe the phenomenon of sleep paralysis and waking dreams.  Since most Witnesses don't bother to read up on the research, they will often conclude the episode was of evil supernatural origin and leave it at that. 

Every once in a while, I still have episodes.  My rational brain turns off and I regress back into the world of demons and angels.  I sweat bullets and freeze in my bed.  I close my eyes, and crack them open half expecting to see a ghoulish, tortured face staring back at me.  It never happens.  It's happening less and less, but the intense fear of these creatures still haunts me, and still will for years to come I'm afraid. 

Whenever I have an episode and force myself to snap out of it, to realize that I'm just in my bed and it's dark, I vow to never raise my children this way.  I'll never try to scare them into a belief system with threats of physical attacks by demonic spirits.  I will teach them that Satan and his demons are just like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny: pure mythology.

It took me a while to decide whether I wanted this to be a public post or not.

 

I had to face someone today that I never wanted to see again in my life.  When I was three and a half, four years old (it lasted for quite a while in little-kid years), one of my father's friends molested me.  It's something that has been part of me my entire life, but it's something that I was able to suppress, something that I've been able to keep buried for quite some time.

 

Until today.

 

He came to the marina today.  I couldn't hide.  I couldn't run away.  I had to be the dutiful employee.  Apparently, this man is friends with one of my customers.  Which means that I could be seeing him rather frequently this summer.  It's been twenty years, give or take, since I've seen him.  He asked about my family, my life, and how things are going in general.  He trapped me for fifteen, maybe twenty minutes.  My skin was crawling, I felt like I was shaking.

 

As soon as he left, I had to go to the bathroom because I thought I was going to be sick.

 

My manager wasn't there at the time.  The older lady I work with saw that I was freaking out and asked what was wrong.  It's the first time I ever talked about it with anyone at work, even Jason.  He doesn't know yet.  I guess I'm going to have to tell him now, even though I never wanted to.  I didn't want anyone to know.  My parents know, a few close friends know, but very, very few people know.

 

He invaded my private place for the second time.

 

I never thought I'd dread going to work like I dread tomorrow.  I need to talk to the manager to see if I can have an "escape plan" if he ever comes into the store again.  I know I shouldn't be running, but I don't know how to deal with this.  It isn't like I can confront him about that somewhere so public.  It isn't professional, it isn't proper.  Running might not be dignified, but at least I won't scream something I could regret.

 

I don't want to go tomorrow.

 

I don't want to corner Mindy as soon as I get to work.  But I don't think I can go too long without telling her what happened today.  I never did tell her.  But I want her to know why I may act strange if something happens again.  I also need to let her know why I don't want to be alone if they go away this summer.  I don't care if it's canine or if it's human, I just don't want to be alone.  I also don't care if there's just some little code I can use to get one of the guys over to the store on the radio, that would be fine, too.  I just don't want to be alone.

 

Please don't let the nightmares start.

 

It's three am.  I wish I wasn't alone.  I don't want to fall asleep.  I'm exhausted.  I can't do for the rest of the summer.  I don't have the energy.  I don't have the strength.

 

Jason doesn't know.

 

I know, it's been 20 years, I should just get over it.  But how do you get over something that traumatizing for someone so young?  And how dare he come into my safe zone?

 

He violated me again.

 

Is nothing sacred?  I know that he hasn't taken everything away from me, but I feel like he tarnished my river.  I know it's a public place, and that this is a hazard of working with the public, but I don't want to share my favorite place with him.  I don't share well.  I feel like he is violating my home.  The water is my home.  I may live somewhere else, but it is what I eat, breathe, and sleep nine months out of the year.  And I don't feel safe there anymore.  He knows where I am.

 

My demons are returning.

 

But now where can I hide?

            Oops.  I guess ministering in the gifts of the Spirit isn’t fruitfulness, according to Jesus. 

 

            Having amazing things happen through you isn’t fruit. 

 

            Following a teaching about knowing a prophet by his/her fruit, Jesus says, “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.  Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’”

 

            Christians, this portion of Scripture should scare the bejabbers out of us.

 

            So let me add, from this cynical seat: I don’t trust people or what they say just because they come prophesying or performing miracles.  This alone does not indicate that they know Him. 

 

            What is fruitfulness, according to this teaching?

 

            Knowing Jesus and being known by Him.