i found him. yay! matt, the drummer. i don't like him or anything, i mean i've only ever seen him once in my entire life. but he is deep. a poet and a musician. intuitive. by looking at a picture of me, my dark picture, he was able to put in words exactly how i feel and was feeling in an artistic, beautiful way. and i read his about me, and its like and ongoing song or poem. very admirable, his talents and personality.
oh yeah. and sam. we talked, and talked, and then clicked. he is deeply, madly, beautifully in love with me. i think he's cool and funny, sweet and handsome, and i definately like him. so we somewhat act like a couple. he hugs me life he never wants to let go, and his eyes linger one my face as if i had a magnet within me. he talks about the future, us in years ahead. i don't even like thinking months ahead.
its rather stifling. now i find myself avoiding him, not iming him. i don't want a deep relationship. i don't want to break his heart. i know he'll fall even deeper in love, so i try to distance myself. i liked it better before, honestly. friendships are truer than any relationship that tries to evolve into something more.
i want to be ms franklin, single, or dating someone, but happy either way and happy with myself without having to depend on someone else to make me whole. she's my idol.
