Dead Friend @ MindSay 
i don't really know how to put it exactly, but basically,
i'm sheltered.
just watch:
1.) i've never taken more than 5 drugs.
2.) i've never been in a real fight.
3.) i've never witnessed true sexism.
4.) i've never witnessed poverty.
5.) i've only been well off financially.
and most importantly:
6.) i've never had anyone close to me die.
my grandmother died last spring break.
wow. so she survived the Holocaust. that's cool? i hardly knew the woman. she only lived all the way across the Atlantic Ocean.
my grandfather on my mom's side died like two years ago or something.
i don't even remember when. and i didn't know him.
all of my grandparents are dead. did i really know any of them? no.
do i miss any of them? no.
this sounds bad, but do i honestly care? absolutely not.
and that's it.
no friends.
no family members actually close to me.
not even a friend of a friend that i know well.
a couple of weeks ago i was in a ginourmous game of fugitive one friday night.
it was great. :D
and i was with a group that was in a car.
and we drove through the cemetery.
C and A rolled down their windows and just started pointing out all these graves of people they all knew.
.....
what?
i've only been IN a cemetery like 4 times in my life. not even.
and...what?
that was the first time i really realized that i don't know anybody dead.
that was the first time i actually felt kind of left out of a conversation about dead people.
and then March 13th, 2008.
i know A had a friend that died that day. don't know how. don't need to know how.
i just know that somebody close died.
the funeral was march 17th, or st. patrick's day.
and, okay. that's great?
sucks for her. it's not like i killed him, right?
but that's not even the point.
like, no. i'm not sad about it. i didn't know the kid. i'm not sorry for her either.
i sound like a horrible person but it's just how i work. sorry.
and that isn't even the point.
i'm just...sheltered.
i've never known anybody that's died.
it's not like i'm wanting one of my friends to die now or anything.
but..i don't even know.
it's weird.
todai was okay i guess. cant complain.
art= boring as hell.
gym= okay.
lunch= horrible.
geo= even worse.
music=living hell.
it might of seemed like todai was a good dai but it wasnt at all.
if a guy likes you.
and you like him alot.
hold onto him and never let go.
this is what id sai to a friend in a boy crisis.
only i never take my own advice.
like for instance.
last year i had something.
i let it go.
this year that something is basically dead.
i havent seen him in like a month.
so thats out of the question
....
i like a guy who likes me a bit.
hes in love with my best friend.
so thats out of the question.
....
a friend wants to set me up in a double date.
with the guy who is in love with my best friend.
i dont want to go as a date.
so thats out of the question.
....
a long distance friend is in love with me.
hes 4 years older than me.
he has a girlfriend
so thats out of the question.
....
my friend is going thro hell with a guy she likes.
and shes reallie upset.
i dont know how to help her.
so thats out of the question.
....
another friend is having even worse problems.
every guy in this entire universe likes her.
im a bit jealous cuz the guy i like is in love with her.
i cant help her out this time
so thats out of the question
....
i feel like ive lost a very dear friend.
shes basically ignoring and not talking to me.
i want to talk to her about it.
we alreadie had an incident like that this year.
so thats out of the question.
....
my eyes are so green these days.
too bad you're just another phase.
you're just out of the question.
....
and thats just too bad.