Days Like Today @ MindSay 
what a couple of days. I got next to now sleep for like 3 days, then BLAM out for 14 hours straight sleeping.
one day i was late for an employee meeting, today I was 2 hours late. Manager woke me up. I fell asleep with my phone in my hand, how pathetic) Which not like me, this is the first week i've been late, Im usually half hour early, a manager called me once cause I was only 15 minutes early "OK i got worried" lol
went to another B-day party! it was Tabi's my phone is dead, so pics will come soon.
AND was invited to ice skating.....in florida.....yea. lol.
OH i ran into a guy I had a major crush on in High school today, FINALLY got his number. but he mumbles worse then me...how is that possible
ALSO a bombastic webcomic!
About baristas OMG ♥♥ And indie music lovers. perfect pairing like man man is to modest mouse
Questionable Content: (artwork gets better as it goes along)
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1
Man Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQyCE2DsjQI
You should know Modest Mouse, if you don't then you suck! (didnt say you had to like it, just know it)
So i've been spending my time reading that and I ordered a new yukata, when it gets here I'll pose =)
I should get snap shots of my other kimono while I'm at it ^^
ok i'll update more later!
Then movies with Jason after. and buying new glasses. wow. Tuesday is going to be an amazing day.
and he says I'm spectacular... <3
I dont know whats wrong with me today...
My head has felt like im in a deep dark fog last few days.
it makes me think im behind the silvery mirror once again
and that i have to put on a pretty face for everyone to view
just not me..
I woke up this morning with the belief I would be granted a TRO today and after three hours of paperwork and two interviews I was lead to the magistrate and the answer was No. My first thought after the ringing in my ears stopped was this has to be a nightmare, I am still in my bed hearing the slamming of the doors and throwing of objects in the kitchen. You see while I was going to apply for the TRO either way today I left my house once again under distress. Mr. Howard immediatly began slamming doors and the very roomates that less than two days before said "we have your back" had neither called to check on me at work and upon hearing me prepare for whatever stood before me never bothered to ask "hey are you ok". Nope instead the first told me he now did not want to get involved, he had his career to think about. The second neither said anything nor looked in my direction, so I did what you think would be the right thing I again called officers to the house in an attempt to have everything on record.
I neither condone people that allow someone to beat or them or put themselves in situations were they are constantly the victim, I believe in the thought of getting up and standing up fopr yourself, the thought that the truth will set you free and lastly nothing you do, nothing you do in the dark remains there. (LOL) I am laughing because right now that is all I can do. Officers came to the house and the attitude was an immediate Oh its you again. They left me outside of my residence and went in to talk to Mr. howard and to my surprise I heard not only lies of payments for rent, but I heard laughter. I was becoming that crazy woman. The second roomate stood outside and after being asked about past occurances he simply stated that he had not been home for yesterdays blow out. I glared, they were already aware of the fact that there had only been two of us inside the house. He later went on to say he needed to think about the life he was trying to go back to "professional football. He played for soe team 5-6 years before and he did not want to be black listed. Once he told him about football the officer left outside with us began to ask questions and they joked about who was still playing for what team and what team was the team to beat this year.
That first tear fell and the same ones that were just laughing as if nothing mattered tried to ensure me that they were here to help me. I politley told them " you can leave sir and please, dont worry about me calling you again. The sgt. looked at me and tried to do the entire Im here to save your life speech along with this is what happens when you allow people to move in to your home. I answered back again with a calm voice as silent tears fell "when somoene gets hurts just know I called and I never lied, but I called you and asked for help and you laughed.
As I left the courtroom today I let tears fall and I cried out to nothing. You see I have been through some things in my life, I have been a victim of incest, not by one but several family members. I have had my apartment broken into and know the pain that someone violated my space once again. I have been held up at gun point, not in an alley but two seperate jobs ......places where I thought I was safe, there were others around me. I have been arrested on false charges made against me for theft, theft of a blanket and as I walked into that courtroom 11 years ago after four days of not having a bath, foor days of not eating depressed and withdrawn and near suicide watch I walked into that courtroom and told the judge I was innocent. Who needs to steal a blanket while I was in the process of being hired as a police officer. The judge not only dismissed the case but apologized.
I have lived and seen things I could not wish upon anyone. As the tears fell I thought about all that I had been through and I decided I am done with being scared. I don't know how to say it without coming across as giving up but I have had everything a woman can have taken away from and I refuse to believe that I have made it this far to have someone so small and evil knock me down. Don't get me wrong I am not perfect, I have hang ups and years after believing I was over things that happened and stopped blaming myself I know now the blame was still firmly held within my heart. No more. I am done.
Prayers are not only needed but to me they are worth more than anything I could dream of winning or finding right now. I know that I will not only get through and out of this a better person, but I also know there is a reason for everything. I don't know what the reason is, but I am willing to walk in faith. (he is slamming things again and again we are the only two at the house...there will be no more tears, I will not give my life to something I don't believe in and I refuse to beaten down again.
If you stand for nothing than you will fall for anything. I stand and walk in faith.
Today's Outlook: The pioneering Aries Moon encourages us to take a risk today as it fires up our enthusiasm. But the talkative Gemini Mercury runs into a tense square with restrictive Saturn, frustrating our efforts to explain what we really want. This hard aspect between Mercury the Communicator and Saturn the Tester requires us to do whatever is necessary to sufficiently improve our plan. Fortunately, our best ideas grow stronger as they rise to the challenge.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
However excited you are about your current situation, your plans now face a roadblock and you must change your path. But before you get all worked up about what's not going right, look at the practical side. Everything will be all right, even if you are pessimistic. Don't settle for the easy way out. And, don't take your enthusiasm too far.
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Responsibilities are heaped on you and you must keep yourself on the straight and narrow path. If you can channel your imagination into the required form of communication, you should be able to relax in just a few days. But not yet. Your boss might move up a deadline on you. Or you may have to rearrange your calendar or alter your travel plans. Try to be flexible, whatever is the reason.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
You could experience internal resistance over taking part in a group activity today. This is out of character for you, for you typically enjoy lots of company. For now, something is holding you back and you might not have as much fun as you usually do. Even if social interactions seem to be harsh, don't take it too personally. Listen to the criticism and if it fits, then deal with it. If not, let it pass.
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
You are inclined to speak up today, but there are some complications that can make this difficult. It's not just about your fear or your irrational hesitancy to speak your part. There are real pressures that must be considered. If you don't take them seriously, then it will be more difficult later on as you have to deal with the reactions to whatever you say.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
You could be thinking about vacation travel plans today. Of course, the difference between reality and your fantasies may not be significant until you start implementing your ideas. Unfortunately, you probably won't be satisfied with idle daydreaming. You may be eager to go on an adventure, yet you must accept the limitations of your current schedule. Do whatever you can now to make it real down the road.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Your key planet, Mercury, forms a tense aspect with austere Saturn. You may feel resistance to your ideas at work today and may need to rethink your current position on an important matter. But the struggle comes from within, too, as you are your own harshest critic. Although your ideas may be sound, you still could be hesitant to share them now because you are afraid of having them rejected. Believe in yourself and your confidence will be contagious.
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
You could be bounced around now by what others are saying because they aren't thinking about the impact of their ideas. A situation could be playing out within the workplace and it may seem like you are getting drawn into a no-win situation. But your willingness to find where differences of opinions meet on common ground can surely set the stage for real solutions.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
New methods of talking about your feelings can offer you a chance to relate to others differently, but it won't be easy. Just don't forget that there is a fine line between maintaining your position with determination and being overly rigid. But nothing will be gained by just giving up. As paradoxical as this may sound, hold on to your vision while simultaneously remaining flexible.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
With the Moon in your romantic 5th House, you could be in the mood to talk about love. But this won't turn into fantastic ramblings of idealistic and dreamy love. Today, your heart is practically anchored in your body and your feet are firmly planted on the ground. It won't be easy to approach the subjects that are on your mind now, so just do the work and the goodies will follow in a few days.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
You may have to nurse your wounded feelings today as someone tells you "no" or "not yet." Obstacles are being thrown in your way for no apparent reason -- until you realize that your thoughts could be moving too fast. You must give yourself some time to let reality catch up to your new ideas. If they are good ones, they'll still make sense in a few days.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
No matter how much you try to do, how busy you become, or how many new ideas you have, you still must handle your daily chores, which may have stacked up a bit. If you recently spread yourself too thin, it's time to cut back on your activities for a while. Even you cannot do everything at once.
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Whatever you do in a relationship now is likely to have lasting consequences. But even if everything is going well, some of the benefits may take a while to manifest. Don't quit even if your path seems difficult. It's not necessary to try to talk your way out of the somber feelings or the sense of disappointment. This is temporary and won't last, so don't waste too much energy fighting what will soon pass on its own.
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