Day Love @ MindSay 
Related tags
back in love
You are divinity
But a certain sign of grace is this
From the broken earth flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt
May I say i've had a great day today. I went for a nice beautiful walk downtown with my David Crowder Band blasting my ears. May I just say that I feel like each day that goes by, I'm picking myself up and falling more in love with Christ all over again. Plus, going by the water and looking at the islands kinda makes your day wonderful. I love to go there and pray and think. Soak in the beauty. I went to the flower shop with grandma, had some ice cream. Now gonna go back out later and take some more random pictures. It really gives me something to do instead of being bored and lonely and waiting for my phone to ring. I love spending time with my grandma. Andrew called while i was on the way to the flower shop to my grandma wanted to know about him and I explained my boy situations and how Hes a great friend but just i cant see myself with him other than that. and shes like "its that Ryan guy that you really want isnt it?" Eh. I know i gotta let him go. Give me time.. time.. time.. time.. If Ryan wanted to be with me, he'd tell me. For now, I just gotta go on with my own life and enjoy my summer and do what I do and if its me he wants, he'd tell me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm just trying to heal. Thats all. I still think he's beautiful.
This quiz makes me feel boring. Don't read unless your brain is melting our of your head in boredom. And even if it is, it'll just continue the melting process. Probably make it faster, too...^^; Silly wastes of time...
• c o n f e s s i o n s •
~•*be honest*•~
- y e s - o r - n o -
I'M AFRAID OF SILENCE: Ehh...if I spend like more than a day without talking much it'll start messing with my brain, but on its own no.
I TALK A LOT WHEN I GET NERVOUS: Either that or very little.
I AM REALLY TICKLISH: Yes.
I'VE BEEN CALLED A TEASE: No.
I'VE BEEN CALLED "JAIL-BAIT": No.
I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK: No. Not unless it's a dark, creepy public restroom. 0_0
I'M AFRAID OF FACING MY BACK TO OPEN DOORS AT NIGHT: No.
I CAN'T SLEEP IN A ROOM IF THE CLOSET DOOR IS OPEN: No.
I AM A HOMOSEXUAL: No.
I BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE: Yes.
I'VE RUN AWAY FROM HOME: No.
I LISTEN TO POLITICAL MUSIC: No.
I COLLECT COMIC BOOKS: Yes...heehee manga obbession...
I SHUT OTHERS OUT WHEN I'M SAD: Sometimes. Probably. ^^;
I'VE STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT: Yes.
I OPEN UP TO OTHERS EASILY: Sometimes, depends on the person.
I AM KEEPING A SECRET FROM THE WORLD: Hmm nothing I can think of? Maybe one, but it's lame.
I WATCH THE NEWS: Sometimes.
I OWN OVER 5 RAP CD'S: No.
I LOVE DISNEY MOVIES: Yes. ^^ Some are boring, but there are awesome ones too. Like the Finding Nemo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Little Mermaid, and Anastasia...
I AM A SUCKER FOR GREEN EYES: No.
I AM A SUCKER FOR BROWN EYES: Ehhhh.
I AM A SUCKER FOR BLUE EYES: All eyes are good! Just be glad you have them!
I DON'T KILL BUGS: I'm too afraid of them too kill them...^^; Unless it's a puny ant. Then I pity it. Unless it's in the kitchen or living room....*smoosh* Sorry?
I CURSE: When I'm alone, sure.
I'VE CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: No.
I'VE SLIPPED AND FELL IN PUBLIC: Yes.
I'VE SLIPPED OUT A "LOL" IN A REAL CONVERSATION: No.
I LOVE SPAM: No.
I'M A GOOD COOK: No.
I HAVE WORN PAJAMAS TO CLASS: Yes.
I HAVE OWNED SOMETHING FROM ABERCROMBIE: No.
I WANT A BETTER JOB..OR A JOB: This summer, yes.
I'VE TALKED ON THE PHONE FOR 6+ HOURS: No. I think 3 hours was the longest.
I LOVE DR. PHIL: No.
I LIKE SOMEONE: Ehh, no.
I AM GUILTY OF TyPiNg LiKe ThIs: No.
I AM SELF-CONSCIOUS: Not too much, but sometimes
I LOVE TO LAUGH: Yes! ^^
I DRINK ALCOHOL FREQUENTLY: Nope, too young.
I'VE SMOKED A PACK OF CIGARETTES IN 1 DAY: Never had one.
I'M NOT A VIRGIN: Not true!
I LOVE LORD OF THE FLIES: Ehh, not really. it was kind of creepy. And why did Piggy tell everyone NOT to call him Piggy? Just don't mention it all all!!! @_@
I EAT COUGH DROPS WHEN I'M NOT SICK: No.
I CAN'T SWALLOW PILLS: False.
I HAVE A LOT OF SCARS: No.
I CAN'T SLEEP IF I KNOW THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE ROOM: Hmm....no. But I'll be thinking about it.
I LOVE CHOCOLATE: YES!!!! CHOCOHOLICS ALL THE WAY!!!
I BITE MY NAILS: No, not usually.
I TWIRL MY HAIR: Not on purpose.
I AM COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ME: Yes. ^^
I PLAY COMPUTER GAMES WHEN I'M BORED: Umm....if the internet counts as a game. ^^;
I TAKE THESE GAY SURVEYS WHEN I'M BORED: Well, I am now.
I'VE SEEN A SHOOTING STAR: No.
I'VE HAD A "MENAGE A TROIS": A what?
I'VE GONE OUT IN PUBLIC IN MY PAJAMAS: Yes.
I'VE KISSED A STRANGER: No.
I'VE KISSED SOMEONE FOR THE HELL OF IT: No.
I'VE HUGGED A STRANGER: Maybe friends of friends, if they count as strangers. Not really.
I'VE BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX: Yes, but we were just kidding.
I'VE LAUGHED AND HAD SOME TYPE OF BEVERAGE COME OUT OF MY NOSE: Kinda?
I'VE PUSHED ALL THE BUTTONS IN AN ELEVATOR: No.
I'VE MADE OUT IN AN ELEVATOR: No.
I'VE KICKED A GUY WHERE IT HURTS ON PURPOSE: Ummmm.....he deserved it!!! ^^;
I'VE BEEN SKYDIVING: No.
I'VE BEEN BUNGEE JUMPING: No.
I'VE HAD STITCHES: No.
I'VE BITTEN SOMEONE..AS A JOKE: Probably when I was younger....
I'VE BEEN TO NIAGARA FALLS: No.
I'VE HAD THE CHICKEN POX: No.
I'VE CRASHED INTO A CAR: No.
I'VE BEEN TO JAPAN: Hah, I wish.
I'VE RIDDEN IN A TAXI: Yes.
I'VE SHOPLIFTED: No.
I'VE BEEN FIRED: No.
I'VE HAD FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE THEM BACK: hmmm
I'VE STOLEN SOMETHING FROM MY JOB: No.
I'VE BEEN ON A BLIND DATE: No.
I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER: No.
I'VE CELEBRATED MARDI GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS: No.
I'VE BEEN TO EUROPE: I want to go.
I'VE SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER, AND/OR EMPLOYEE: No.
I'VE BEEN MARRIED: No.
I'VE GOTTEN DIVORCED: No.
I'VE BEEN PREGNANT: No.
I'VE SEEN SOMETHING/SOMEONE DYING: No for someone, yes for something.
I HAVE A LIST OF PEOPLE I WANT TO KILL: No.
I'VE DRIVEN OVER 400 MILES IN 1 DAY: Not sure...
I'VE BEEN TO CANADA: No.
I'VE BEEN ON A PLANE: Yes.
I'VE SEEN THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW: No.
I'VE THROWN UP FROM DRINKING: No.
I'VE EATEN SUSHI: No.
I'VE BEEN SKIING: No.
I'VE BEEN ICE SKATING: No.
I'VE CRIED IN PUBLIC: Yes.
I'VE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE: No.
I'VE LIKED SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE: hmmmmm
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT SOMEONE ALMOST 24/7: ? Not sure?
I'VE HATED THE WORLD: Nah.
I am delaying the inevitable here. I have an honest loving long-going -term -whatever relationship with a sexy kissable man and I am going to blow it up. I have worked hard to build what I have to what it is. 10 months worth of work and honest love have gone into this and on the count of 3 it will fall to pieces. 3 days that is.
To his knowledge, I screwed up once before. I flirted too much too long with a long past lover and once it was discovered I worked my fingers to the bone to earn his trust back. But the important thing is, all my honest lying and blowing of shit out my mouth in the form of words - ;) - paid off and now I have him on my side. In reality, I screwed up twice. I took life and love into my own hands the second time and it cost me a few days of praying and hoping and building road blocks to keep from feeling guilty. Nothing bad happened and everybody lived, so I say it was a positive learning experience that will never happen again!
Tomorrow is day 1 on the countdown. Tomorrow is Wednesday and I will see my parnter-in-crime and we may or may not (but most likely we will) talk about our plans to ruin my life. There is much deception here, as well. To the partner-in-crime, this date will be the peak of his love-life. The climax will begin here and he hopes it will do nothing but progress. I see it as a hard plan to sell and it will only blow up in my face. Why I'm going along with it, nobody knows. Also, tomorrow was supposed to be a nice date with the man I love: the one I mentioned earlier. I will be blowing him off to see my partner-in-crime.
The thing is, man #1 knows that man #2 (partner-in-crime) has a long going thing for me. And this thing has been growing since, well, FOREVER. There is little I can do about it. Especially since I have been feeding the fire for some time now. This thing that will bring down my love-life will be happening right under man #1's nose. There will be no need for a disguise, however, because he is totally clueless.
I don't want to ruin what I have, really I don't. But it just seems like so much fun and it's so damn easy. I am risking so much work and honest time for one measly night out. Anyway, Thursday is day 2 on the countdown and there will be no seeing or meeting between either loverboy or lustboy (man #1 & #2). I will make up transparent lies that man #1 will not be able to see through because it is true that love is blind. He trusts me and I will use that to my advantage. Man #2 may call me also, and in that case we will go over the final plans to scrub this relationship/mission I worked so hard to maintain. The final pieces will fall into place on countdown day 2.
Friday is day 3 on the count to destruction and it is also the day when the plan comes into action. I will be lying about where I am going which will inevitably lead to the discovery that I am, indeed, a bitch. I have been lying since the day I could talk and will not stop until the day I die. Even in my deathbed, I may lie. I lie to myself, my closest friends, obviously my family, my lovers, God, the world... If there is somebody who I haven't lied to, it's because we haven't met yet. I LIE. That is what makes me tick. I am a liar. I could tell you that I have the symptoms of a pathological liar, but then I would be lying. Besides lying, what are the symptoms of a pathological liar anyway? If lying is the only symptom, then isn't it safe to say that every one on this entire planet is a pathological liar?
Whatever. The point is that the relationship I spoke so fondly of (well, sort of fondly) is built on a foundation of lies and that foundation has been slowly and steadily eroding away. Loverboy has finally seen through some of my most transparent lies and they have come crumbling down on top of me. I don't really think that Friday will be the storm that sends the house tumbling down, but only God knows what will truly happen. One can only hope. Hope. And pray.
Good Night & Good Luck
yes i know love is a verry vag topic.
but i am indeed in love
i have decided so
but i am verry much afraid of it,
i would love to spend every sec. of the day
but i cant, at the moment, because he is in germany
it makes me so sad
but back to my topic,
i wish every one had it blaintinly spelled out on their head
right on their forhead
if they are in love with some one or if they are not.
i have talked it over wih Jackson
on his ideas of love,
be we dont have the same idea of love
mine is just caring for someone so much you cant stand to be away from the
and that you would put them befor you.
but he thinks of love as marige
but i dont like the idea of marige, i mean my parents have made a mockery of marige.
and i dont know if i could ever bring myself to marieing someone,
alothough, at my age and my limited relationship experiance, i owuld verry mych like to spend a verry long time with Jackson, it just fritens me thinking he mite not feel the same.
and i guess i have more relationship experiance than most.(2, 2 year relationship experiances)
but i loke him so much
i should relly stop rambling, i could go on forever
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