Date @ MindSay 
love
The best thing about bad dates is that we walk away with a great story, and little doubt that the perpetrator is not the person for us.
I was thinking about some of the common errors made on first dates. I came up with 10 common mistakes that could kill the chances for a second date:
Arriving late
Even five minutes of lateness is inexcusable on the first date. People are already anxious on these excursions, so making someone wait and think more about everything is pretty rude. Seems like the trend in NYC is to be late for things regularly. On one date, I texted the girl and told her I was running late. She said she was too. We ended up just having the date 1/2 hour later than planned and technically no one was late because we were both 1/2 hour late together.
Wardrobe malfunction
Make sure you cater what you wear to what you're doing. I try not to make a girl walk too much if she's in heels. Also, I've seen girls wear pearls and a nice blouse to trashy outdoor drinking events, or heels to sporting events.
Talking politics or religion
Staying away from debatable content is a good idea the first time out. It's fun to argue with your significant other, but I think it's important to reach a comfort level first. If you try to proselytize someone, or battle them over a hot topic like abortion, you may reach a point of no return.
Checking out other people
You'd think that no one would do this, but guys are always looking at waitresses, or other patrons when out. One of my friends got in hot water because his date told me he made cat calls at other girls while on a date. Talk about a mistake!
Bringing friends (Non group date)
If you bring friends along you look immature and insecure. You also throw the other person for a loop if they were expecting the date to be one-on-one. Make sure you establish that it is a one-on-one date, and follow the rules and show up alone.
Getting too drunk
Some people turn into a completely different person when they are drunk. Let the other person learn about you while you're sober, before you get wasted with them. Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly, but if a drink or two takes the edge off, and wine adds romance it's fine. Just don't push it too far.
Being too aggressive
No one wants to deal with someone's wandering hands before they are ready. It is one of the best ways to creep someone out. Just because someone is getting dinner with someone once doesn't mean it's an invitation into the sack. It's best to be hands off on the first date.
Being too unaggressive
My friend Margaret warns me to be more aggressive all the time. She said that if I don't kiss someone at the end of a date, or make a move when they hop in my bed they will begin to think something's wrong with them, or that I'm not into them. Maybe that's true, but sometimes I am just being too safe so that I don't break the rule I just mentioned above.
Canceling at the last minute or standing someone up
Canceling for a legitimate reason is fine, but respect your date's time so that they can plan their night without you. Canceling one hour before a date is not cool — most of the date prep has already started at this point. Standing someone up is so rude. What does it accomplish? If you change your mind, at least have the strength to just cancel. No need to make someone feel bad and waste their time just because you're too chicken to cancel the date.
Dominant speaker
Try to breathe in between sentences, and don't talk too much. Give your date a chance to talk. Aren't you trying to get to know one another? And don't speak for that other person (i.e. order for them at dinner) unless they invite you to help with their order.
Do you agree or disagree with any of these? Ever have these happen to you, or have you ever made these mistakes? Would you go on a second date after any of these mistakes? What would you add to this list?
Program Date: July 10, 2009
Program Time: 2100 hours, Pacific
Topic: RAD: Rape Aggression Defense
Listen Live:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/LawEnforcement/2009/07/11/RAD-Rape-Aggression-Defense
About the Guest
Kimberly Cheryl Elliott spent 17 years and parole and probation officer for Missouri State Division of Probation and Parole. She “is a seasoned marketing professional with 18 years experience in pharmaceutical sales and management. As a victim of crime, she is very passionate about her career as founder and managing partner of Executive Defense Technology, LLC, an anti-victimization education firm. As a speaker, author, consultant and Nationally Certified RAD (Rape/Aggression/Defense) Instructor, she helps clients optimize their personal safety. As a seminar leader, she provides a comprehensive course that begins with awareness, prevention, risk reduction and avoidance, while progressing on to the basics of hands on defense training. Her clients include everyone from elderly church group members and housewives to employees of law firms, TV / Radio Stations and other Fortune 500 Corporations.”
Kimberly Cheryl Elliott is the author of Escape From The Pharma Cartel: My Life as a Member of the Pharmaceutical Drug Cartel; Take This Pill and... Sell It!: A Guide To Getting A Job In The Pharmaceutical Industry; Shattered Reality; and, Are Your Habits Killing You? A Complete Personal Handbook Of Safety Suggestions to Incorporate into Your Everyday Life: Because the Best Defense Is a Good Offensive Plan!
About the Watering Hole
The Watering Hole is police slang for a location cops go off-duty to blow off steam and talk about work and life. Sometimes funny; sometimes serious; but, always interesting.
About the Host
Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster was a sworn member of the Los Angeles Police Department for 24 years. He retired in 2003 at the rank of Lieutenant. He holds a bachelor’s from the Union Institute and University in Criminal Justice Management and a Master’s Degree in Public Financial Management from California State University, Fullerton; and, has completed his doctoral course work. Raymond E. Foster has been a part-time lecturer at California State University, Fullerton and Fresno; and is currently a Criminal Justice Department chair, faculty advisor and lecturer with the Union Institute and University. He has experience teaching upper division courses in Law Enforcement, public policy, Government Technology and leadership. Raymond is an experienced author who has published numerous articles in a wide range of venues including magazines such as Government Technology, Mobile Government, Airborne Law Enforcement Magazine, and Police One. He has appeared on the History Channel and radio programs in the United States and Europe as subject matter expert in technological applications in Law Enforcement.
Listen, call, join us at the Watering Hole:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/LawEnforcement/2009/07/11/RAD-Rape-Aggression-Defense
Program Contact Information
Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster, LAPD (ret.), MPA
editor@police-writers.com
909.599.7530
100 Truths!
1. Last beverage→ A can of Coke. Which is still ¼ full on my Computer desk.
2. Last phone call→ Um. No?
3. Last text message→ No.
4. Last song you listened to→ King Of The World – Porcelain and The Tramps. It makes me feel proud and self-indulgent. Both of which I am not.
5. Last time you cried→ This morning.
HAVE YOU EVER…
6. Dated someone twice → Nope. Never dated.
7. Been cheated on? → No.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → Yes. On the cheek, nothing passionate. I’m such a fool.
9. Lost someone special?→ You better believe it.
10. Been depressed?→ Too many times to count.
11. Been drunk? – No. Never will.
`
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS
Too bad, I don’t have a favourite colour… Sorry to disappoint you.
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU…
15. Made new friends → Most definitely! ^^
16. Fallen out of love → Er, I think so.
17. Laughed until you cried → Oh yes! xD
18. Met someone who changed you→ Should have asked me previously. But, I can’t answer that for this year. Answer will have to wait.
19. Found out who your true friends were→ I don’t know. But I found out what a friend SHOULDN’T be like!
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ A lot of times throughout my life.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Nope.
TRUTH
23. How many kids do you want to have→ None right now! But, when I’m older – at the most, 3.
24. Do you have any pets? → Yup. One dog, two cats. All female.
25. Do you want to change your name→ Lot of thinking on this one. But, I’m gonna have to say no. I am who I am, and nothing can change that – even if it’s a name.
26. What did you do for your last birthday → Pretty much nothing.
27. What time did you wake up today → Er… I think around 10:30 A.M?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night → Crying, most likely.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for→ Life to get better. Good grief!
30. Last time you saw your father→ Today.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Myself.
32. What are you listening to right now → King of The World – Porcelain and The Tramps.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yup. He was a friend of mine in Grade Seven… Needless to say, we went our separate ways.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Life.
35. Music or sports? → Music. Totally.
36. What’s your real name? Why would I hide that? Check my profile. I’m too lazy.
37. Relationship Status → Single. Hasn’t changed once.
38. Zodiac sign→ Pisces.
39. Male or female→ Female.
40. Elementary→ Loathed it.
41. Middle School → What?
42. High school – Love it.
43. Hair color → Used to be an ashy brown. But now it’s a slightly toned red.
44. Long or short → Very short.
45. Height → I don’t know. Ask me moron of a doctor.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? → I don’t know. I can’t tell.
47. What do you like about yourself? → My eyes.
48. Piercings → Yup. When I was a tot’, mom took me to get my ears pierced.
49. Tattoos → None. Don’t plan on getting them. But if I did, I would probably get a small one on my shoulder. Of what, I don’t know.
50. Righty or lefty → I’m a righty.
FIRSTS:
51. First surgery → Um. Eye surgery? When I was a baby.
52. First piercing → Ears.
53. First tattoo— None.
54. First best friend → Jess! :3 Still friends today!
55. First sport you joined → Screw that question.
56. First pet → Sasha, but I don’t remember her. She was a miniature schnauzer. She died.
57. First vacation→ You expect me to remember that? My trip to HOME from being cooped up in a hospital for months! Be satisfied with that one!
58. First concert → None.
59. First crush→ Joe. …Ugh. >.>
60. First alcohol drink→ None. Never will.
RIGHT NOW
61. Eating → Nothing.
62. Drinking → Nothing.
63. I'm about to → I don’t know. Continue breathing?
64. Listening to → Stop asking!
65. Waiting for → Life to change. >.>
YOUR FUTURE
66. Want kids? Yes and no. I alternate between the two. I love kids, but at the same time, they bug me. I have 0 tolerance for being around people when it’s outside of school or something like that.
67. Want to get married? I used to. But now I don’t know. Sort of.
68. Careers in mind? Author, Website Designer, Child & Youth worker.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → I like eyes.
70. Hugs or kisses → I like both, I guess. Though I’ve never been kissed.
71. Shorter or taller → Taller.
72. Older or Younger → Older.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Um… I dunno.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → …The heck?
75. Tattoos or piercings→ Not too many.
76. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive. Loud people get on my nerves after a while.
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Not into the bad boys.
HAVE YOU EVER…
79. Kissed a stranger → Never.
80. Drank hard liquor → Never.
81. Lost glasses/contacts → I lost my glasses on my forehead a couple times. Does that count?
82. Lost clothing→ I dunno.
83. Broken someone's heart → I think so. Go ask ‘em.
84. Had your own heart broken? → Too many times to count. It wouldn’t surprise me if I didn’t have anymore pieces of heart to be broken.
85. Been arrested-> Never.
86. Turned someone down → Yup.
87. Cried when someone died → Who hasn’t?
88. Had a friend turn into a crush?→ Yes.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
89. Yourself → I used to. But now I don’t.
90. Miracles → No.
91. Love at first sight → No.
92. Heaven → Ask me later.
93. Santa Claus → Not anymore. When I was a kid I used to.
94. Kissing on the first date? → I guess so.
95. Angels → See ‘Heaven’.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY…
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Most defiantly.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Never ever ever. Nor will I ever. I remain loyal and faithful.
98. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever?→ Depends in what way. If you’re talking about relationships, then yes. Religion? Yes as well. But many people don’t remain faithful in both ways.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without?→ …Oxygen?
100. Heaven or Hell?→ What? Do you mean what I would be in? Pssh, knowing my luck, probably hell… But for some odd reason that doesn’t seem to scare me. I wonder why.
So with my new job at the Golden Arches Enemy (BK) it's money!...I met this really nice guy! along with a bunch of other people...but most I already knew. lol
but anyways...this guy named Kevin told me that he was in a band...he had a concert date last friday...somewhere...but I wasn't able to go because I had to work and calling out in the first month you get hired isn't the best option...but I was out on the bands MySpace page and found that they have a new concert date...A BATTLE!
February 11th, 2009 at 5:00pm; Concord High School...Concord, NH.
They're good, if you like the screamo...heavy metal type music...I'm fexible when it comes to my music tastes...I like them!
who knows maybe some of you will be there!
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