Darkness @ MindSay

I've heard that on May 19, 1780, in the northeastern part of North America, there was a period of "extraordinary darkness," which began between 10 A.M. and 11 A.M. and lasted until the middle of the next night. Also, the full moon rose at 9 P.M. that evening but was not visible until midnight, when it had the "appearance of blood." I've checked records of solar and lunar eclipses for that date, and none was close enough to have caused the phenomenon. Do you have any information about such an event? Could you provide an explanation for it?

For a generation of New Englanders, Friday, May 19, 1780, was a date never to be forgotten. The Sun was blotted out by a strange darkness, varying in intensity and length from place to place, but extending from New Jersey and New York across Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and southeastern New Hampshire into Maine. For several days prior to the "Dark Day," the Sun was obscured by smoky clouds, and the Moon took on an unusual reddish color. Darkness began around 10 in the morning and lasted throughout the day. (When the Connecticut legislature proposed adjournment following the belief that the day of judgment was at hand, a Colonel Davenport declared: "I am against an adjournment. The day of judgment is either approaching, or it is not. If it is not, there is no cause for an adjournment; if it is, I choose to be found doing my duty.") The night that followed was no comfort to the fearful, being unusually black and impervious to any artificial light. The next day, a fine sulfurlike substance was noticed on the edges of water, but the only reports of adverse effects concerned the death of a number of birds. The first theories of a comet or solar eclipse were ruled out, and the earliest guesses regarding smoke from forest fires turned out to be accurate. Out-of-control forest fires, extending from New Hampshire into New York State, burned furiously for a week preceding the dark day, creating great suffocating clouds of smoke. An unusual atmospheric condition trapped the smoke until it reached sufficient density to blot out the Sun. However, for many New Englanders, the Dark Day was an inexplicable mystery, never recalled without a feeling of awe.

Dear World,

         No song today. I couldn't really think of a good one to fit my mood, it's a bit on the weird side. However! My hair is finally finished. A week before christmas I dyed it an auburn color that turned into a dark rusty brown-ish color. Not really what I was going for. So, things needed to be fixed.

Yesterday evening I bleached my hair to get all the color out of it, for the intent of dying it another color that will be a vibrant color full of shine and niceness. Yum. Anyways, I wasn't sure what color I was going to go for. Part of me was half tempted to go with purple koolaid for hair dye and have purple awesome hair. But, my parents would shit bricks, so probably not the best idea. I went with red again, and I love it. I've always had a thing for red hair (Especially on girls), and having my hair red greatly appeals to me. It's not just red. it's Red red. I have pictures on my myspace that people can check out. Post comments if you have them. Since I know I have oodles of readers about. Haha. Either way, I am extremely content with my hair, and I love it.

My mood has been bouncing around. Alot. And I've had the same headache that keeps punching me in the face for the past 4 days. I've been going from super lonely depressed, to very angsty pissed off, to very mellow and happy, to blank. What the fuck. I've been thinking about the future. And me being alone. And it's all been bugging me. School. Job. People. Me. It's all re-god-damn-diculous. But there's not anything I can do about it. I can't snap my fingers and have people admire me and want me to change their lives and them to change mine. Even though, I would love for that to happen. Still. Wish wish, wishy wish wish. Lame. Isn't there anything productive I can be doing? Oh yeah, I do have a bajilion games to play, I need to hunt around for a new job at a diner that will hopefully hire me as a server. God damnit.

"Oh. You don't have any experience doing that? Sorry, can't give you the job."

Wait. If I don't have experience how the hell am I going to GET ANY if you fuck ups don't give me a chance to prove that I'm worth a damn? Jesus christ, I'm sick of this system. I'm sick of school. I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick about worrying. I'm sick of all this bullshit.

But life goes on, regardless. I could flop down dead and everything will still continue to go on because that's just how things are. Each person has their own story, just like I'm stuck in mine. But is mine just another, "Wow, this is pretty dull," and put back? I don't know what I want to do with my life. The possibilities are drawing closer, and I'm really unsure. Sigh. I thought I was heading in the right direction, but I'm still not sure. I'm still surrounded by everything that I don't want to be. I want to tear out my awesome hair that I'm so agonized. What? This is how the world works? With fuck that. Maybe instead of wishing that someone would fall out of the sky and save me, I should be wishing for a brick to fall out of the sky and knock me the fuck out. At least that'd be more likely. Thanks God, you really help me out. Jerk.

Still, I'm here. I'll be here, unless that comforting cold of death decides to give me a goodnight kiss. But I doubt that will happen anytime soon. I'm not that lucky. I can also be poetic about death and all this bullshit out the ass, but right now, I don't know. This is a thought stream, and I'm streaming my thoughts. Maybe sometime I'll make a really poetic gushy love sick entry that will make me vomit just to reread it. That'd be nice. Really. Not that I'm being sarcastic or anything. Ugh.

I just need to get out of my house and do something. Monday was nice, because I got to go out and buy shoes and bleach and all that junk, but sigh. Maybe I should ask a girl out on a date or something. That'd be nice. Doubtful that I'd be able to refrain from shaking enough in order to pull that one off, though. Thanks Jesus, you let me down.

Sincerely,

      Nikolas

"The people who sat in darkness

have seen a great light,

And upon those who sat in the region

and shadow of death

Light has dawned."

 Matthew 4:16 

Why do so many of us experience deep dispair in our lives?

Why do we seem to struggle through crisis after crisis

without celebrating the fact that we already made it through crisis after crisis already?

Why do we make wrong choices,

that bring pain and loss into our lives ... over and over?

Why do we struggle and strive just to have as much as  ... or more than our neighbor?

Are we choosing to live in darkness,

or receiving the Light?

Life is about choices;

About learning to make the right choices ~

Choices that lead to compassion,  satisfaction, fulfillment.

~ B

What makes you really happy?