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Stay-At-Home Dads Face a Challenge
According to 2006 data from US Census Bureau, there were 143,000 stay-at-home dads on Father's Day two years ago, not including single parents, compared to 5.6 million stay-at-home moms.
That number has grown slightly in the last few years, the Associated Press reports, but then so has the number of moms.
Dads can decide to act as the primary carer for their children for a number of reasons, including finances, wanting to bond or because of single parenting.
However, the preponderance of mothers at nurseries, playgrounds and social events such as children's parties can make it an isolating and lonely experience for men.
The Associated Press spoke to Mike Biewenga, a stay-at-home dad for the last four years, who noticed that moms would sit further away from him during visits to a reading group at a local library.
"There was a gap, then me, then a gap, then the rest of the circle … I mean, I shave, I comb my hair. I'm a normal-looking guy," he said.
Groups and websites have now been formed to help stay at home dads with their kids to network and share their stories, while moms are getting more used to seeing guys in the playground during the week.
And with increasing work pressures, the role of a stay at home day is becoming ever-more valuable.
A recent study from British children's charity the NSPCC found that 59 percent of fathers questioned believe their careers keep them away from their sons and daughters.
Stay-at-home fathers are still a rarity in the US compared to their female counterparts, but it is a growing trend both among single dads and those in a relationship.
That number has grown slightly in the last few years, the Associated Press reports, but then so has the number of moms.
Dads can decide to act as the primary carer for their children for a number of reasons, including finances, wanting to bond or because of single parenting.
However, the preponderance of mothers at nurseries, playgrounds and social events such as children's parties can make it an isolating and lonely experience for men.
The Associated Press spoke to Mike Biewenga, a stay-at-home dad for the last four years, who noticed that moms would sit further away from him during visits to a reading group at a local library.
"There was a gap, then me, then a gap, then the rest of the circle … I mean, I shave, I comb my hair. I'm a normal-looking guy," he said.
Groups and websites have now been formed to help stay at home dads with their kids to network and share their stories, while moms are getting more used to seeing guys in the playground during the week.
And with increasing work pressures, the role of a stay at home day is becoming ever-more valuable.
A recent study from British children's charity the NSPCC found that 59 percent of fathers questioned believe their careers keep them away from their sons and daughters.
Stay-at-home fathers are still a rarity in the US compared to their female counterparts, but it is a growing trend both among single dads and those in a relationship.
5 Rules for Divorced Dads
As a child of divorce (my parents divorced when I was four), I can personally say that divorce can be, or maybe always is, hardest on the kids. It should be a decision of last resort when kids are involved and very clearly the "least bad" of your options in a bad marriage.
That said, it does occur and divorced dads have special challenges.
Divorced dads have a lot to prove since they will likely take at least half the blame for the break up of the family. If you're a divorced dad, you are also likely to have lost custody of your kids. You're less present for them everyday and need to make the most of your time with your kids.
Divorced dads should follow all the tips for regular dads, but should be especially attentive to these.
• Never date or marry any woman who wants to put herself ahead of your kids. It doesn't matter how pretty, sexy, wealthy, intelligent, funny or seemingly caring she is. When you had kids, you made a covenant to put them ahead of everything. When all else fades, your relationship with them will be the strongest love of your life.
• Never compare siblings. This goes doubly for step-brothers and sisters. If you compare them for any reason, at almost any age, you give your own children a reason to doubt your love for them.
• Make twice the effort to be at every game, school play, and birthday.
• A corollary to #3, move or stay wherever your kids live. Other places may beckon but your place is close to your family.
• Never discuss your ex-wife. This last might be especially difficult given the circumstances for your divorce. However, no matter how great the joy may be in the moment to say something negative about your ex-spouse, you will gain nothing from it in the long run. If your spouse is as bad as you say, it will be obvious to the kids. If not, they will hold it against you.
Every divorced dad has to carry his own grief and try to begin a new life again in the world. Remember that you are still a father. Taking care of your children during this crisis is your first priority. It's the only way to break the inertia.
That said, it does occur and divorced dads have special challenges.
Divorced dads have a lot to prove since they will likely take at least half the blame for the break up of the family. If you're a divorced dad, you are also likely to have lost custody of your kids. You're less present for them everyday and need to make the most of your time with your kids.
Divorced dads should follow all the tips for regular dads, but should be especially attentive to these.
• Never date or marry any woman who wants to put herself ahead of your kids. It doesn't matter how pretty, sexy, wealthy, intelligent, funny or seemingly caring she is. When you had kids, you made a covenant to put them ahead of everything. When all else fades, your relationship with them will be the strongest love of your life.
• Never compare siblings. This goes doubly for step-brothers and sisters. If you compare them for any reason, at almost any age, you give your own children a reason to doubt your love for them.
• Make twice the effort to be at every game, school play, and birthday.
• A corollary to #3, move or stay wherever your kids live. Other places may beckon but your place is close to your family.
• Never discuss your ex-wife. This last might be especially difficult given the circumstances for your divorce. However, no matter how great the joy may be in the moment to say something negative about your ex-spouse, you will gain nothing from it in the long run. If your spouse is as bad as you say, it will be obvious to the kids. If not, they will hold it against you.
Every divorced dad has to carry his own grief and try to begin a new life again in the world. Remember that you are still a father. Taking care of your children during this crisis is your first priority. It's the only way to break the inertia.
Wedding Advice for The Father of The Bride
Seeing their child get married can be a proud and happy day for a father, but it can also be stressful, particularly when it is their daughter's wedding.
There is the issue of seeing daddy's little girl all grown up and beginning to make a family of her own and then there are all the father of the bride duties - walking her down the aisle, making a speech and getting the check book out to pay for it all at the end.
To help dads negotiate the wedding minefield the Kren Reno has come up with parenting advice for fathers apprehensive about the big day.
Firstly, it suggests making a money plan. The couple may be paying for the wedding themselves, but if not, fathers should decide how much they are willing to contribute and stick to it.
The publication notes that men may be tempted to take a backseat when it comes to wedding planning and leave the girls to sort out dresses and flower arrangements, but says the bride and groom will need all the help they can get in organizing the day, so it is all hands on deck.
When it comes to the speech - the bit many dads dread most - it recommends keeping it short and sweet. "Rather than rambling, it's always best to stick to the basics. Thank everyone for being there, say how happy and proud you're feeling at that moment, and raise your glass to the bride and groom."
Dads may be interested to know that on average, US couples spend between $1,366 and $43,098 on their wedding, excluding honeymoon and engagement ring, so they may want to start saving now in the interests of good father and daughter relations!
There is the issue of seeing daddy's little girl all grown up and beginning to make a family of her own and then there are all the father of the bride duties - walking her down the aisle, making a speech and getting the check book out to pay for it all at the end.
To help dads negotiate the wedding minefield the Kren Reno has come up with parenting advice for fathers apprehensive about the big day.
Firstly, it suggests making a money plan. The couple may be paying for the wedding themselves, but if not, fathers should decide how much they are willing to contribute and stick to it.
The publication notes that men may be tempted to take a backseat when it comes to wedding planning and leave the girls to sort out dresses and flower arrangements, but says the bride and groom will need all the help they can get in organizing the day, so it is all hands on deck.
When it comes to the speech - the bit many dads dread most - it recommends keeping it short and sweet. "Rather than rambling, it's always best to stick to the basics. Thank everyone for being there, say how happy and proud you're feeling at that moment, and raise your glass to the bride and groom."
Dads may be interested to know that on average, US couples spend between $1,366 and $43,098 on their wedding, excluding honeymoon and engagement ring, so they may want to start saving now in the interests of good father and daughter relations!
Stay-at-Home Fathers Could Offer Moms Tips
Stay-at-home fathers are still a rarity in the US compared to their female counterparts, but it is a growing trend both among single dads and those in a relationship.
Now, it looks like dads who act as the primary caregiver to their children may already have a thing or two to teach moms about raising kids.
USA Today spoke to Andrew McDade, a teacher in New Jersey who decided to stay at home to raise his daughter when she was born nine years ago.
He found that many moms would be constantly coming up to him to offer unsolicited advice on how to look after his children, which may not be surprising considering that on average, working fathers provide about 40 per cent less childcare on a daily basis than their female counterparts.
However, the magazine spoke to a number of experts who suggested that fathers that do the bulk of the childcare could have some valuable tips to impart to moms.
For example, stay at home dads generally break with the traditional assumption that the person who raises the children should also do the housework. "When you think about it, the task of caring for kids are logically different from doing the housework," Joan C. Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at Hastings College of the Law in California, told the publication.
In addition, research has found that such fathers are also more likely to take time out for themselves than their female counterparts, keep a hand in the workforce and take an equitable approach to childrearing; all positive traits.
For parents who want to take a totally different approach to raising their children, the New York Times recently reported on the phenomenon of shared parenting, where both moms and dads share all the responsibilities of child care equally.
Now, it looks like dads who act as the primary caregiver to their children may already have a thing or two to teach moms about raising kids.
USA Today spoke to Andrew McDade, a teacher in New Jersey who decided to stay at home to raise his daughter when she was born nine years ago.
He found that many moms would be constantly coming up to him to offer unsolicited advice on how to look after his children, which may not be surprising considering that on average, working fathers provide about 40 per cent less childcare on a daily basis than their female counterparts.
However, the magazine spoke to a number of experts who suggested that fathers that do the bulk of the childcare could have some valuable tips to impart to moms.
For example, stay at home dads generally break with the traditional assumption that the person who raises the children should also do the housework. "When you think about it, the task of caring for kids are logically different from doing the housework," Joan C. Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at Hastings College of the Law in California, told the publication.
In addition, research has found that such fathers are also more likely to take time out for themselves than their female counterparts, keep a hand in the workforce and take an equitable approach to childrearing; all positive traits.
For parents who want to take a totally different approach to raising their children, the New York Times recently reported on the phenomenon of shared parenting, where both moms and dads share all the responsibilities of child care equally.
Conceiving a Baby: Things Future Dads Should Avoid
Men don't usually scour pre-pregnancy books, stocking up on all the right vitamins and minerals, and planning against the hidden dangers that could harm their baby-to-be. But - though in a couple trying to get pregnant the attention tends to be focused on the woman - there is a lot you can do to ensure a healthy pregnancy for your wife and become a proud dad.
Future dads, who are trying to conceive, would do well to avoid the following things:
• Hot water baths: Heat around the testicles may affect a man's ability to conceive. One reason why men have testicles that hang outside the body is that it makes them cooler and improves their capacity to produce healthy sperm. Soaking in a hot bath or spa will therefore adversely affect your sperm production. Besides, it will also harm immature sperm before it develops. Thus, bathing in hot water today may end up reducing the fertility of your sperm up to three months down the line.
• Warm underwear: Warm or tight underwear can also affect your sperm production by raising the temperature in the groin area.
• Too much cycling: If you are an enthusiastic cyclist who cycles daily, you may run the risk of reducing your sperm count. This is because of the overheating of the testicles caused by the fact they remain squeezed between the legs and the seat of the cycle.
• Sex, in case of yeast infection: If you suffer from a yeast infection, avoid having sex with your spouse. You run the risk of infecting your spouse, who can pass the infection back to you and so on. A yeast infection will generally make intercourse less pleasant, and therefore reduce the number of times you have sex; this could indirectly affect your chances of conception. Some also believe that the creams or suppositories used to treat yeast infections may interfere with successful conception.
If you are about to start a family with your spouse, you will often hear about "family planning". But what really does it mean? Family planning is often understood as prevention of pregnancy.
Future dads, who are trying to conceive, would do well to avoid the following things:
• Hot water baths: Heat around the testicles may affect a man's ability to conceive. One reason why men have testicles that hang outside the body is that it makes them cooler and improves their capacity to produce healthy sperm. Soaking in a hot bath or spa will therefore adversely affect your sperm production. Besides, it will also harm immature sperm before it develops. Thus, bathing in hot water today may end up reducing the fertility of your sperm up to three months down the line.
• Warm underwear: Warm or tight underwear can also affect your sperm production by raising the temperature in the groin area.
• Too much cycling: If you are an enthusiastic cyclist who cycles daily, you may run the risk of reducing your sperm count. This is because of the overheating of the testicles caused by the fact they remain squeezed between the legs and the seat of the cycle.
• Sex, in case of yeast infection: If you suffer from a yeast infection, avoid having sex with your spouse. You run the risk of infecting your spouse, who can pass the infection back to you and so on. A yeast infection will generally make intercourse less pleasant, and therefore reduce the number of times you have sex; this could indirectly affect your chances of conception. Some also believe that the creams or suppositories used to treat yeast infections may interfere with successful conception.
If you are about to start a family with your spouse, you will often hear about "family planning". But what really does it mean? Family planning is often understood as prevention of pregnancy.
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