Cuddling @ MindSay

• It's really 243 am? Goddamnit. I have to work all too soon.
• I'm so proud of myself. First of all for not doing something I shouldn't do, but secondly for not even wanting to with the person who wanted to. I think you get where I'm going with this one.
• I can't help but feel a sense of self-righteous pride in thinking "At least I don't do the random hook-up. See? I'm better than that. Fuck your wrong opinion of me." And that thought is flung angrilly at several people.
• Despite my boycot of the random hook-up, I miss being touched. I miss being hugged. And holding hands. And just freakin' cuddling. I miss it so much. I miss drunken cuddling, but I miss even more sober cuddling.
• It's really time for sleep now.

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^{_{From 11:30AM to 10:30PM, Dixie felt the most}}

 Content

^{that she's ever felt in over 10 months.}

_{But from 10:30PM onwards, Dixie felt the most:}

 Suicidal

^{that she's felt in over 4 months.}

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Blog #91

Up, then DOWWWWWWWWWN...

No matter how good someone makes you feel, no matter how wanted, loved and valued they make you feel - there's ALWAYS some cunt who'll make you feel 10 times worse than what you did before.

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Ashleigh had told me she was coming "early" this morning.

I didn't know what her idea of "early" was - but it was "early" enough to have woken me up.

So I answered the door to her in my pjyamas - lead her back upstairs then sat on my bed and moaned that I was still tired.

We sat on my bed together for a while, talking.

I love talking to Ashleigh. You can proper ramble on about the most random and pointless topics, and you'll suddenly look at the clock - over an hour will have passed.

That's what happened today - and that's when Ashleigh realised she was hungry, having not eaten anything before she came. I was hungry too, so I made us both some cheese on toast. Cathedral City.

I had 3 slices, Ashleigh had 2.

Shelly came to the door just as we were about to finish - so we both answered the door to her with cheese on toast. We sarcastically asked if she wanted some and she went off on one. :)

She told me to get dressed - so I did, in my mam's room.

I went back to them and we played World Tour.

Ashleigh was only staying until around half 7 today - apparently her mam had requested "family time".

That's not fair. I need my Ashleigh-fix too. They get her all the time. I want some of her too. :(

Thanks to my Tool addiction - Shelly has Vicarious permanantley stuck in her head.

So I didn't help matters, I played it on vocals. :)

Then I swapped to drums, played a few songs.

I switched from Easy to Medium two songs in, as it was TOO easy. Even so, on Medium, I still don't get less than 90%.

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For tea, I made Pasta 'n' Sauce for Ash and I - and a chicken sandwich for Shelly.

Ash is a general pasta addict. She always requests Super Noodles - and now she's developed a liking for PNS. I wonder if she likes rice?

After this - Ashleigh requested that I play Resident Evil 4.

I told her it was too light - and that she wasn't going to be staying much longer - so I'd rather we played it on a day we had more time.

So Resi 4 stayed on the shelf.

We decided to amuse ourselves with each other instead.

Cue the cuddling hour. :)

A new feature of our cuddling hour is taking photos with my dad's little silver digital camera.

Every time we take photos - Ashleigh has to be featured in one that's REALLY silly.

It's the law. :)

So we requested that we tie her to my bed. :)

(The weird thing is, we ended up tying her with the same two ties, on the same arms as the time Shelly tied me to my bed...)

Then Shelly commented on this, but then added: "But she was naked... And the other way up."

That made me blush - the slag. :P

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Shelly cuddling up to Ash.

Ashleigh licking her nose - lmfao.

She's the only one of us three who can do that.

Ash and I can curl our tongues, but Shelly can't. :)

Shelly looking rather sexy.

Rofl, there we go.

BONDAGE WHORE. :P

She looks so not amused. Lmfao.

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After Ash had gone, Shelly stayed with me.

Here's one thing that proves how much she loves me - she gave me oral when I was ON MY PERIOD.

(I wiped myself down rather sexually with antibacterial wipes beforehand, of course.)

After spending a day cuddled up with Ash, having not seen her for such a long while - seeing how content she was around me - that made me feel good.

Then spending some intimate time with Shelly, as she held me close to her, feeling her skin against mine - that made me feel good too.

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My mam drove her home.

She was playing the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack STUPIDLY loud.

After she'd left - she turned off the music.

She turned to me and she starts.

Nana's had a rant and rave to her.

She's been faffing with my phone and her SIM card - all the photos and texts I've sent Shelly - she's ended up with them.

Basically she just made out that I'm the worst person in the world just because I'm engaging in sexual matters.

Er, I'm over 16. I'm also not with a man - so there's no chance of me getting pregnant.

She was pregnant at fucking 16 - so she can't say SHIT to me.

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