Cuddle @ MindSay 
love
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Dixie currently feels:
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Loud Guitarists
After yet another bland simple re-capping Film Studies lesson, I wandered into town and bought some stuff for Shelly and I to munch on.
She told me she misses the crisps from Home Bargains, so I bought her a bag of those, along with a Wispa bar.
I came home, straightened up my room - and Shelly arrived at half four.
We munched and played Guitar Hero.
I finished off the Easy career on Rocks The 80s and Shelly and I played a few songs on the co-op career.
We also did some work on her GH3 co-op career - but with me playing on Expert, both of us using older PS2 guitars - KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA.
So it was no wonder mam came in whinging and made us stop.
We switched to a quieter game: We Love Katamari and played a few levels - beating some of my older scores.
And yes, that damned Cowbear level continues to rile us both.
We shared a bottle of Jaques together and wound down, cuddling up to each other on my bed.
We spent a while laid on a pile of duvets and pillows on the floor. Before we could even get to doing anything ourselves - we could proper hear the bed banging about in the next room. It was so fucking funny. :)
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Dixie currently feels:
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Blog #260
Happy Birthday To Me...
Anyway, today is the day Dixie turned 18.
I don't feel any different. I don't want to be 18.
For one, I don't like the number 8 - and for two, I don't like this immense burden of suddenly being an adult now on my head.
The only good thing is, now I can legally buy porn and sex toys. :)
Hello Ann Summers! :P
I still had college today, regardless of the pile of presents by the fireplace.
I didn't have time to open them when I woke up, so I only opened the cards that were there and put them on the mantlepiece. Mam had gone a bit mad with the decorartions - banners, balloons and foil tinselly things all over the place.
I should have opened the presents though - because for the entire day, I was left wondering what the box on top of my PS2 was.
When I came out of the house, ready to walk for my bus - this chav was walking by, and he was proper staring at me.
I didn't actually know why - until I realised he wasn't staring at me at all, he was staring at the banners and the balloons on the window behind me.
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College was pretty meh.
English was relativley boring, but thankfully - not too tormenting.
Media Studies was reasonable - another lesson on those horror films.Watching clips and taking notes. Very easily done. I love the old horror films too. Especially Nightmare On Elm Street. :D
Freddy Krueger - definatley my costume of choice this year for Ian's halloween party.
Today I had a beasty 3 hour break - Shelly walked down to the docks with me. We both bought sausage sandwiches and I got myself a bottle of water.
We went to the paved part down by the river and sat on the benches for a few hours, cuddling and talking. Shelly gave me lots of kisses too. We were in a really secluded part, shaded by trees and bushes, so nobody was there to bother us. It was freezing though - and despite Shelly's best efforts to keep me warm by cuddling me close to her - we only retreated back to college for the remaining 45 minutes of this beasty gap purely based on the fact it was far too bloody cold.
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When I got back, mam was in - and I finally got to know what was in the box.
An odd surprise - Shelly said it would be Guitar Hero 5 - but the box was WAY too small to have a guitar in it, and too big to be just the game - so I knew she was wrong. I had a feeling it might be something silly, like one of those daft novely keys - but it was far too heavy for that.
I opened it and I found a sexy DIGITAL PHOTO FRAME.
Fucking PHWOAR mate. :D
It looks fairly complex to set up, but I have a few ideas. I'll have a fiddle around with it - get some of our epic Saturday trio photos on there and show Ash and Shelly the next time they're round. It'll be a sweet addition to my desk - turned on for guests and when I need cheering up. :)
She'd also got me a mug with a cuddly troll inside it and a silver pentagram pendant. Sexah. :)
Paul had been and dropped off a card and the two Maximo games he'd ordered for me. Maximo and Maximo VS Army Of Zin, the sequel. And apparently, there's something else coming in the post for me. Oooh, I wonder. :)
And lastly, another jiffy bag with one of the games from Shelly - Ed, Edd 'N' Eddy: The Mis-Edventures. :)
Mam scorned my immaturity. Nah, she's just boring. I know how to have fun. :P
I wanted to go and play my new games, but mam fucking swayed me with a season of Desparate Housewives. Damn her. :)
While we watched this, I ate some instant macaroni cheese that smelt like sour milk and vomit, but tasted really good. :P
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Ian and Lisa came later on the night - and they'd brought my card and their present actually did contain Guitar Hero 5 - proving Shelly's idea partially correct. :)
Mam then did let me set up my PS2 - and we played We Love Katamari - took it in turns doing some levels.
Mam thinks its a pointless game. Nah, she just doesn't recognise genius gameplay when she sees it. And she's also shit at it, so that probably contributes some too. :P
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Tutorials from the master!
Today has been rather odd.
I was waiting for Shelly to come - laid downstairs on the sofa. She'd told me she was coming at 12, but she didn't come until almost 1.
It was weird, it's one of the rare occurances where I sit there and proper think about her and how much I love her - naturally I do, I just don't sit and think about it a lot because I'm usually too depressed to - but when she ended up coming, I proper threw myself at her. I hugged for ages then dragged her upstairs and I had my clothes off in like ten minutes flat. Proper weird.
I could tell it was making her excited though - I was in a bit of a weird mood.
After we'd had our special time together, I took the money mam had left us - and I went to ASDA. She told me to get bread and something for us both to eat. We hadn't eaten dinner, and I wasn't even that hungry, so we just bought a jar of hotdogs and some buns for our tea.
Then I got some Pepsi, cheese Doritos, Milkybar yoghurts and a bag of whirly bites. I wanted some nibbles for us to munch on while we were playing games.
We ate the hotdogs when we came back and watched Outtakes TV. We nibbled on the whirly bites and shared out the Milkyway yoghurts. It's been so long since I've had one - they're so sweet and creamy. Really moreish as well, you proper want more than just the one.
We went back upstairs and for some reason, we ended up falling asleep.
Dad woke us both up about an hour or two later - we were both cuddled up on my bed proper asleep. I don't even know why, I wasn't even tired.
I was in a weird mood after that, but Shelly did persuade me to play Guitar Hero with her.
She asked me to give her tutorials. She's struggling on level 7 of GH3 - so I went onto practice mode and loaded up the songs she was struggling with - showed her how you do it, talked her through my techniques and some hints she could use.
Oddly enough, I then was looking through my old scores for the Expert career - and I wasn't happy with some of them.
I haven't played on Expert for ages, so it was weird suddenly jumping back into it - but I managed to upgrade a 3-star ranking song to a 4-star and I upgraded a different 4-star rating to a 5-star - with 98%, no less. :D
Shelly was pleased with me.
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I'm currently playing four games, attempting to get somewhere close to finishing them off:
- Shadow The Hedgehog (GC)
- Banjo-Kazooie (N64)
- Super Paper Mario (Wii)
- Pokémon Ranger: Shadows Of Almia (DS)
Pokémon Ranger is oddly addicting...
Super Paper Mario is a pile of shite, I just want to get it finished off. I'm going for a mastered run - 100% entire. It shall be torture, but it'll look nice on my Backloggery. The two-star rating for the game will look weird amongst the 4-star rated ones though.
Sigh, Dixie is not looking forward to tomorrow.
The only good thing is that I don't have shitty English.
Seriously, when I had decent teachers, I liked it - but as soon as I got to college, I started fucking it all up. :(
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Shitty Mood & Soggy Pastry
I spent a big portion of the morning playing on Guitar Hero: Greatest Hits.
Despite my mam being in the room on the PC - I still went on vocals.
I'm unsure why - maybe it was an odd burst of confidence.
Yesterday was one of my better vocals days - I seemed to be getting a lot more 100%s than usual.
Shelly finished work early in the afternoon, so she came round again to see me.
Today wasn't my best of days.
My mood and Shelly's mood were the most conflicting and contrasting they've ever been.
One thing though, I'm glad we didn't argue with each other.
I felt that shit, I'd have just slashed my wrists infront of her and not cared.
I wasn't even bothered to do anything, so I was just laid on my bed most of the time, staring into space, or at the ceiling.
Fair enough, I cuddled up to Shelly - because hugs keep me from getting a lot worse. I had random bursts of tears - at one point where I needed my inhaler, but I wouldn't take it.
But Shelly wanted lots of kisses, and I didn't want to be kissed. I wasn't in the mood.
I'm sure she could tell - because when she kissed me, I didn't kiss her back very much.
She was also in a rather randy mood - and I seriously wasn't interested.
I felt like just curling up in a ball and dying - so the last thing I wanted was to be intimate with her.
Normally I would jump at the chance, or at least, be slightly enthusiastic about it.
Today just wasn't the same.
I regretted letting her touch me - because I felt even worse afterwards.
Didn't feel like I'd deserved it - and it hadn't felt anywhere near as good as it normally does. I had too many things in my head I had to think about, I couldn't concentrate either.
I didn't have any energy either - even though I gave Shelly attention a few times - my arm gave up really easily, so she didn't get very lengthy sessions. And I couldn't even do what I normally do to get feeling back in my wrist - I just gave up in the end.
Shelly was getting upset, thinking I didn't love her anymore or wasn't interested in her anymore.
This was pathetic - surely she could see I'd lost fucking interest in EVERYTHING, not just her.
I was actually surprised I'd been arsed to have a shower and brush my teeth - because when I lapse this badly, I don't even feel like doing that.
Despite wanting to just go and slit my throat, I still cuddled Shelly and held her in my arms when she started crying. Obviously, I wouldn't just ignore her. She wouldn't do it to me, so.
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Today and Tuesday, we've had nothing in that Shelly actually drinks - so she'd brought along a little bottle of Schweppes dilutable concentrated blackcurrant.
It smells proper lush and it tastes alright too.
I had a pint of it, when Shelly decided to share it - and I got an odd hyper burst for about 10 minutes.
I was skipping up and down the kitchen and doing the comedic sneak-walk up the stairs.
Then I ate a sausage roll - but before I bit into it, I tried to see how much I could stick down my throat before I gagged - then I took it out of my mouth again and slapped Shelly about the face with it.
Soggy pastry. :D
Then naturally, as soon as the hyperness went away, I felt about five times shitter than I did before.
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Claire was talking on and off to me on MSN.
She found a photo of our old secondary school's headmaster - and she was using Photoshop to stick his head onto peoples' bodies. She started with a Bad Taste Bear, then I suggested she put him on Marylin Monroe's body - and that one was proper hilarious.
Then I suggested a hunk or a body builder, and she sent me this:
Lmfaooooooo. :D
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Ash apppeared online shortly after - and she said she'd snaffled Jordan's laptop.
Which, has decent connection and a built-in webcam and microphone. :D
So we had a video conversation.
Well, my webcam's finally decided to die - so she only got audio from us.
Shelly tried to keep quiet, oddly not wanting Ash to know she was here - until we made her piss herself laughing and she PROPER echoed round the room.
I'm surprised everyone in Ash's bungalow didn't hear her. :)
And naturally, Ash is a bit of a knob on a webcam.
Prime print-screened example:
"HIYAAAAARRR..."
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Buddies, Bellies & Burgers
I put on my new lesbians T-shirt, my black jeans, black Converse, black socks, black underwear and my black bra - I was in a very black mood today.
Dad took me to Ash's at half 11 - IN HIS NEW VAN. :D
I have an odd liking for work vans - they remind me of when I was little and I sat in the middle seat of dad's beasty 3-seater.
Of course, I'd like to forget about the times I rode in the back and nearly got decapitated by falling rolls of cable and toolboxes.
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Ash fed me Crunchy Nut Bites - and they were a disapointment.
When I told Ash that they weren't as epic as she'd made out - she looked like I'd just pissed on a bible and then slapped her around the face with it. :)
Even Denham was amused - saying I was being blasphemous - and Ash did her pretend sulk where she stands in a corner.
We sat on the sofa for a while, watching Everyone Hates Chris.
I didn't really find it amusing or entertaining - but oddly enough, it gave me ideas for DATWBSVOH - what with some of the characters playing a dare game. :)
And of course, I loved the chance to cuddle up to Ash. She's so warm and cuddly. And their sofa is just epic. Way more epic than Crunchy Nut Bites, lmfao.
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Then of course - we had to sit outside on the swinging chair. :)
When Ash's mam and dad came back - her mam joined us and we talked together for a bit.
Both her mam and dad were greatly amused by my T-shirt. Tracey said that my mam must have a good sense of humour. Hmmm. :/
After Tracey and her friend (who'd turned up to take her out somewhere) had gone - I tormented Ash a bit by running my hand along the back of the swing's canopy - scraping off bits of dirt, mould and rainwater that was gathering there.
Then of course, I proceeded to wipe it all over her face. :)
She didn't even realise how dirty I was making her face - at one point she had a thick smear of black gunge running the full length of her head down one side.
This sparked many-a protest - mainly all following the theme of: "STOP IT WITH YOUR MOISTURE!"
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I requested that Ash play Silent Hill 4 when we were back inside.
She'd snaffled the PS2 - so it was set up in her room.
I lounged back on her comfy bed and watched her play through a good 2-3 hours of the game.
The possessed wheelchairs in the hospital had me pissing myself.
Oh, and did the giant Eileen's head in one of the rooms.
Creepy as fuck - but hilarious.
And naturally - Ash couldn't kill a monster without me pissing myself at the fucked-up noises they all made.
I think I'd fallen asleep at one point - because I remember Ash shaking me and telling me to wake up.
She'd died and was turning it off - so I dragged her down to the end of the bed where I was laid and we cuddled up together for a few minutes. :)
I want Ash's bed lmao.
It's so easy to want to fall asleep when you're laid on it.
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We ate homemade burgers and chips for tea - SUPER LUSH. :D
I rarely ever eat homemade stuff, so this was fucking legend. I had cheese and salad in with my burger.
I wonder why lettuce is such a good accompniment for burgers...
Something healthy mixed with something fattening doesn't sound like it would work, but it does. :D
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Today was finished with me laying on Ash's belly and watching Johnny English with her.
I said she was my cushion - and I rested my head on her squishy tummy the entire time.
I got hyper in random bursts and was sort of jokingly flirting with her - talking in a weird voice and saying shit like: "Mmmm, we're all alone now Ashleigh..." and "Hmmm, isn't this romantic darling...?" :D
Ash has finally got my sense of humour - I'm glad to report that she was rather amused at this.
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The only thing that would have really reduced today to anything less than content was my parents randomly turning up without telling me first.
I told dad to come for me at NINE - and he came at EIGHT.
I was quite comfortable laid on Ash's belly too...
And, Tracey was going to bring me back a Double Decker from Tescos.
Grrrr.
Thus, I made mam give me most of her dark chocolate when I got home.
And this is a revelation - today is the first day I've spent at Ash's without even getting slightly depressed.
Usually the uneeded conversation topics with her mam and the horrible Walton's atmosphere makes me suicidal - but I didn't once feel sad today. :)
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