Crushes @ MindSay

Wow. Probably going to be one of my more juvenile posts. But oh well. I suppose we all have our moments of juvenileness...juvenility? You get my point.

So, at this moment, I'm sitting in a semi-crowded cafe in downtown Nevada City, sucking up free wifi. Why, you might ask, would I do this when my previous living arrangements allowed for wireless at the house? Well, I moved out. That's right! I'm officially on my own. I moved out yesterday. My mom and I had an arguement on Thursday night, and I just knew it was time to leave. So I asked Natalie and Laura if they would mind helping me move, and I moved out. Only took two trips. I was kind of nervous about moving out, but I think it's the right move. I feel so much more free, but at the same time, I feel so much more responsible.

On a much less mature note, I found out that the guy that is totally rocking my world right now is actually trying to rock my world. Which makes me rather happy. *insert big sloppy, overly self-satisfied grin here* I have a hard time telling, usually. What I see as signs of attraction usually end up not being. But then he said something to me. We were sort of...skirting around the discussion of liking people, and I said that I had a hard time telling. And he said, "Well, the surest way to tell is when a guy will go out of his way to be near or around you." He grinned, and offered me a cigarette. Since then, I've noticed that...well, he does go out of his way to be around me. When I started working with him (oh yeah--he's my shift leader), he parked in a different lot than I did. I park on the other side of the store, over by the dumpsters. Sometime last week, he discovered that I park over there. Since then, he's been parking next to me. I'm not gonna go all psycho-boy-crazy-teenage girl on you, so I'll stop. I'm just really glad I'm not being retarded. Well, maybe I am, but my retardedness is reciprocated.

Valentine's Day was awesome! And the best part of the awesome was that I am single! I am single and I was proud to be. I have been learning so much about myself as of late it is amazing. I am actually happy. I am seeing a guy, though, later today, when it is actually day. He is the most amazing friend I have ever had. I have the hugest crush on him too, but we both know it would never get anywhere, he's way too far away for me, the whole long distance thing and I just don't work out. After Josh I was through with all that. I am single and loving it. I went to dinner tonight with two of my girlfriends, a hot guy waited on us, I ate chicken (which I don't normally do), and we watched the Notebook. I am way too excited for 1:25 today. That is the time when I shall be on the bus to see my friend. I haven't been this excited since I was a wee little girl waiting for Christmas morning. Oh! He is the most spectacular person in the world, he is so kind. I cannot believe a man like him exists that I am just friends with. The situation is amazing and so is he. I am so happy. He is happy too. I am single and I'm happy. Who'd a thunkit? Those two words don't normally go in the same sentence (:single" and "happy"), yet they do. My friends today said all throughout the day that I was "beaming", or "cheesy", or "pippy". They all have this obsene idea that I really like him. I cannot, though, because if I did. If I were to say something like "I'm in love with the man" I wouldn't be able to live with myself because I'm single now, he lives towns away, I wont get to see him, it wouldn't work out. It never does, so I'm just happy single. I had fun on Valentine's Day without a care in the world, I am happy being single...Right?

The printed yearbook will always be around and will always be relevant. When young people state the printed yearbook is is not relevant, that is because they ARE young, and their yearbook has not realized its true value. Only time will increase your yearbook's value. As the years pass, life happens, and memories fade, your yearbook will instantly return you to your youth, your era, your teen fads, music, state of the world. It is like a time machine that takes you back to old friends, faces in the hall, quirky teachers, sports, plays, and a less complex time of your life. The girl who said " A yearbook goes on a bookshelf and is never taken down" is wrong. How would she know? She is young, and, yes, the yearbook may stay on the bookshelf for years, but when it is brought down, its value is instantly realized. Over the years, the complexities of life will make every yearbook read a wonderful trip to a simpler, less chaotic time.

I have been involved in the yearbook industry for over 30 years, and can honestly say that when the yearbook arrives and is distributed at a school, it is likely the coolest day of the school year. Creating memories that tens of thousands of people will hold onto for a lifetime is a great career to be in.

The biggest problem in North America is the cost of a yearbook and the poor quality of the end product. Three or four companies control the market, and charge outragious prices for a low quality publication. As technology changes, and the schools do most of the work, they have not been compensated with lower production costs. There is no way any yearbook should cost $70.00 as one blogger stated. I created a company that prints an extremely high quality yearbook on 100# paper, in offset full color, with a heavy hard embossed cover. Our prices are half the cost of the BIG FOUR. We have partnered with Canon, Nikon, and Epson to offer every school, every year, high-end digital SLR cameras at no charge. Why? Because a yearbook is only as good as its pictures. It's a win, win, win, for my company, the school, and the students.

My yearbook company is able to do this because our yearbooks are printed in Hong Kong. Our printer in Hong Kong offers world class quality and included options never offered in the US or Canada. Our books are so much better in quality, so much lower in price, and include so many benefits for the school, that  "Made in Hong Kong" becomes a non-issue. We are printing yearbooks over 260 pages in full color for less than $20.00 per book. We are doing extremely well, and growing at a rapid pace.

Every student should be able to afford a yearbook. A large number of teachers are unwilling to take advantage of this opportunity at the students loss. Their reasoning is quite predictable: They do not like change, it is not their money they are wasting, they are friends with the printers rep., they do not want to learn a new system, etc., etc.. These are the same people who buy a foreign car without a second thought about a domestic made vehicle. Why? Foreign cars are made better and hold their value.

Am I using this blog to sell my company? ABSOLUTELY! We have the BEST product, BEST price, BEST educational experience, and we want everyone to benefit from this.

I would like to talk to others who would like to open a dialogue about the printed yearbook, its value, its relevance..

Regards,
Yearbooks Rule

I get all sorts of "crushes" on individuals, some even reach a sort of legendary status to the amusement and despite of my friends.  Some last for a short while, other crushes last for years.  Here's how I define them:

 

Cute Boy Crush

The simple, yet intense affectionate feeling I get for a young man who is attractive in way that sets him apart from other males, usually a very feminine-looking man, and, you guessed it, most likely gay.  I don't want to date the cute boy, I just want to "adopt" him like a pet and have him follow me around like a puppy.  The Cute Boy crush is usually broken once he proves he's as big a jerk as other guys.

 

Celebrity Crush

I get "all a gush" over some actors and authors.  They don't even have to be good-looking, just extremely talented and clever.  Like the sort of crush I've had for years on Neil Gaiman, my favorite author.  I've had several opportunities to meet him, but couldn't bring myself to face him.  The kind of crush I have on Neil makes me weep, seriously weep.  It's terrible.  Or like the crush I have on Nathan Fillion, but not as intense as the one I have for Neil.  I could meet Nathan, but will act the fool the entire time I'm around him and I would be bound to say at least one stupid thing while in his presence.  No matter how much I remind myself that these men are as normal or everyday as every other human on the planet, I still manage to freak out over them.  Sometimes, not always, my celebrity crush will break once I get disillusioned by the subject of the crush.  I almost got disillusioned with Neil when I attempted to read his novel American Gods and I disagreed with the way he treated the old Gods.  Neil has always written the pagan Gods as fictional characters who depend upon human imagination to keep them alive.  I have a problem with that because I worship those Gods and have a totally different relationship with them than, say, someone who considers them pure mythology.  But Neil is hard not to like.  He continues to tell such wonderful stories, and that means I continue to be "all a gush" over him whenever I see his name printed on anything.

 

Kindred Spirit Crush

I usually get this kind of crush whenever I happen to meet someone who is a lot like me, but not totally like me enough for me to get annoyed by them.  The kindred spirit who is the recipient of my affection is usually a person whom I unusually "click" with.  Upon first meeting, we are immediately finishing each others' sentences or are able to pick up on what the other is feeling, even if the other is miles away.  This crush is completely platonic, rarely romantic, but so intense that I find myself having so much love for them, I don't know what to do with it all!  I want to be around my kindred spirit 24/7, but can't, so whenever they are around, I do this little dance around them til I'm dizzy and dry from talking with them so much.  The only way this kind of crush ends is when said kindred spirit betrays my trust and proves that they weren't such a kindred spirit after all. 

 

Love-at-First-Sight Crush

I have suffered the sharp pins and arrows of this kind of instantaneous love too often, and have paid the price.  It's partially based on lust, and part based on some kind of karmic interaction, something so intense, it really is magic, but the intensity of this passion never does last for long and can only be the illusion, not the reality, of love.  Hence why I describe it as a crush.  Because it crushed me.  Sometimes it's mutual, at other times it is strictly unrequited, both kinds are very painful for me.  It always happens when I least expect it will.  A chance meeting, a look across a crowded room, you get the idea.  Before I can blink, I soon find myself entangled in a love affair I never intended to get into in the first place, and like an addiction, I'm so hooked onto the other person that I sink into a kind of manic mode of thinking and behaving.  There are only two ways I can get myself out of this kind of crush: 1) date the person, ride out the passion, move in with them, get bored with them as soon as they become a regular thing in my life; or 2) lust after the person until they can't stand me, I am rejected bitterly, and have to stay away from them for fear just seeing them again will start the whole lovelorn process all over again. 

 

The "I Never Knew He Liked Me" Crush

Otherwise known as the "stealth" crush because it sneaks up on me without me really noticing until I realize that the other person has the same feeling for me.  It's a nice surprise.  Doesn't happen often in my life, but when it has it's either a romantic or purely platonic crush, or a platonic crush that could turn romantic, if I let it be.  This kind of crush ends after I discover the guy is just a dork and tends to not be as interesting as I first thought he might be.  Guys can "dork" themselves out me liking them.  It makes me feel really superficial, but the crush was only based on the fact that the guy was paying me some much needed attention.  If I could get past his dorkdom, maybe I'd see he's a terrific human being, but once the illusion is broken, it's gone.  Such men I've gotten crushes on like that before will, years later, still believe I am crushed out on them.  See, they at least had the brains to notice that I liked them, but they didn't hold my interest long enough for me to really like them, but since he's a dork and has no other women crushing out on them, they use the brief affection I had for them as a thing to bragg about to their equally dorky friends.  Now that's really annoying.  When I discover that about them, I don't feel so bad for no longer liking them!

 

Caretaker Crush

I get this one over animals.  I'll see a beautiful cat, sad dog, amazing horse, or drowned rat and I want to save it, take it home, and feed it.  Even if I don't see the cat, and all I hear it do is mew, my heart breaks with the pangs of love.  The same can be said for someone who is in trouble, usually a drug addict or mentally ill person.  I'll see them and get hit with a kind of love that wants to sweep them off their feet and heal them.  I get the same crush for wounded soldiers, too.  To the point where I can't watch the news.  I want to go to their hospital bed and read them stories and tuck them in at night.  My heart just hurts intensely with love for these animals and people, and it hurts because I can't reach out to heal them and take care of them all.  The only thing that makes the heart-breaking-gushing-with-love feeling go away is to follow up on the stories of these people and discover that they are getting the care they need.  Otherwise I think I would go crazy and exhausted from caring too much and not being able to do anything!

 

I'm sure I have more "crush" categories, but for now these are the ones that drive me crazy the most.

Yesterday my mom and I got to talking about guys. It started when we were talking about who we could see my sister with. However, from there it branched over into guys for me. I asked her who she'd pictured me with, and she said she'd always liked Ryan (with the exception of the pot thing, of course).
:( Oi.
However, from there she went on to say that I'm attracted to laid back guys (this is true) and that while that's a good thing in many ways, in some ways it's not. For example, she said that if I dated a laid back guy the relationship would probably be long lasting but that I would get bored with it (ex: Ryan). However, if I dated someone with a personality similar to my own, the relationship would be passionate but that it probably wouldn't last for very long (ex: Cory).
Somehow that doesn't seem all that encouraging to me.

Oh, in addition to all of this, on Monday when we were driving home (after discussing things surrounding Ira), my mom talked about how when she was in college there were guys that she would hang out with but that she would never have dated them.
....okay? So, she's either saying that I shouldn't like guys (and consider them only friends) or that none of the ones that I like and/or hang out with would ever date me....? How are either of those comforting?

P.S. It's been snowing off and on all day. Everything's white outside.