Crazy Eyes @ MindSay 
So, I’ve been having sex with my one of my best friends who just so happens to be my roommate and, oh, did I tell you he was gay?
I have had sex with exactly 6 men in my life, and this is the best sex ever!
I could cum right now just thinking about him.
It’s been hot.
It’s been dirty.
It’s been nasty.
It happened right after he’d bailed me out of trouble, again, as usual.
I’ve only ever seen him as a friend until that night.
I never even thought he was good looking, he didn’t have a face. He just had eyes and a heart.
He was just my best friend in the world.
When the guy walks down the street straight men do a double take, woman bat their stupid eyes and walk more sensual. He’s not only good looking; he’s tall with a gorgeous body.
And get this; he’s honest, hardworking, loyal and just too perfect for words.
Back to that lustful lust filled night.
He was trying to not lose his cool with me after my poor choice of actions that day.
I sat on his lap as usual, using him as my chair as I’ve done a thousand times before.
Me: I’m sorry, I don’t know why I keep doing these stupid things.
He was avoiding my eyes.
Me: look at me please, I really am sorry, I won’t do it again.
He shook his head.
Him: if you were stupid, which you aren’t, I’d excuse you.
Me: I know.
Him: you drive me crazy!
Me: I know, I’m sorry, I am.
He put his hand on the back of my neck and looked me in the eyes.
Him: don’t be sorry, don’t fucking do that again!
And then we stared at each other for I don’t know how long.
I began to feel things that I have never felt for him and it didn’t feel weird or wrong. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted his fingers inside me. I wanted him to fuck me.
Me: please?
He just stared at me and gripped the back of my neck even harder.
Him: please what, smack some sense into you?
Me: please?
Him: no!
Me: please?
And still holding the back of my neck he started kissing me, this deep hard kiss that took my breath away.
(and am happier than a pig in shit, his cock's so big, it barely fits)
L Gorgeous eyes
O Best in relationships
L Gorgeous eyes
a Likes to have sex.
A: Likes to have sex.
B: Likes to flirt.
C: Really likes to chill.
D: Has one of the best personalities ever.
E: Loves to cuddle with their lover
F: People adore you.
G: Never let people tell you what to do.
H: Has a very good personality and looks
I: Is always there for true friends.
J: Lives life for fun.
K: Really silly.
L: Gorgeous eyes
M: Makes dating fun
N: Dead sexy.
O: Best in relationships
P: Popular with all types of people
Q: A hypocrite.
R: Freakin crazy
S: Easy to fall in love with
T: A sweetheart.
U: Really wild and crazy.
V: Not judgemental.
W: Very broad minded.
X: Never let people tell you what to do.
Y: One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for.
Z: Always ready.
http://jessi7868.imeem.com/music/AiKKwcSJ/have_a_little_faith_in_me/
I could barely keep my eyes closed. The room was dark, but there was a dim light no larger than the flick from a match, illuminate the room. The apartment was quiet with the exception of Smokey. His snoring while loud, was music my ears had no desire to turn off. He was resting with his muzzle placed directly on my right shoulder. The clock next to the bed read 3:15; I now had exactly three more hours to sleep...great.
Smokey was no longer snoring, he was awake and licking my face. Had I been crying or having a nightmare? Did he know I was accepting prayers from my four legged friends? Attempting to wipe what I thought was sleep from my eyes I realized I had not slept; my eyes had truly been resting. Showered dressed and full of OJ I looked at Smokey and wondered if we would be ok. I wondered if I would be able to keep him. It was now 5:30; I needed to be on the road for my 2 1/2 hour trip. I was use to the darkness; I work from 2245 until 0715. When the rest of world was sleeping, I was wide eyed and bushy tail, of course I was neither now.
"You need to be honest and open with your answers Ms. Fisher" He trailed off after "er.” He was no longer a reality in my mind. Actually, he sounded like the teacher from the Peanuts. He talked for another 2 hours until he finally said CJ you are not crazy" All joking aside, I heard only Halleluiah in stereo. Tears fell from my eyes as he asked if I was ok. Ok? Ok after falsely being accused of Workplace Harassment? My spirit told me to be still and gather the joy that had been placed at my feet. My tears were tears of joy. Tears of freedom. Tears of favor shown by God. No weapon formed against me shall prosper; this was no longer simply a song nor a mirage.
As far as where this life lesson began, I cannot go into detail but I will share what I can.
January the 8th a new dispatcher went directly to internal affairs and stated I was harassing her by not speaking. I know that I have spoken my feelings on this blog, but outside of the computer, I am quite shy. I do not know if it is because of my childhood (latchkey kid) or if it is simply my guard used to protect me, but I tend to very standoffish. As far as my accuser, I know now I did give her the cold shoulder. Her work ethics were less than stellar and honestly, I felt sorry for her. I could not understand why she was satisfied with being average (as far as work). Looking back, I know I cannot judge people. I know now that by protecting myself from her I actually opened myself up for an attack.
1500hrs and my Capt. Calls. I know that I cannot simply ignore the call, but am I ready for what she has to say? My ears and eyes are not, but my heart says to stand on faith! Know that I did nothing on purpose to hurt anyone. Know that I was cleared as far as having to be cleared by a psych to return to work. I picked up the phone and remained silent. This Capt. was not simply a Capt. she has been a friend from day one.
CJ you were cleared to return to work. I was still silent, silently crying. I know you have two more days to work for the week, but...GREAT there is always a but. What I am going to do is pay you for the full workweek.
If you never believed in blessings.
If you never believed in the power of simple words. I guess you will have to wait until your eyes are clear and anger has not filled your heart. This time last week, I could not sit without crying. I could not stand on the faith my heart has known. I thought my world was about to end.
I am blessed.
I AM FREE!
City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style
Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess ev'ry form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice
So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town
You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes
On the other side of town a boy is waiting
with fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the nice anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel
She rushes to his arms,
They fall together
She whispers that it's only for awhile
She swears that soon she'll be comin' back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile
You can't hid your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't now way to hide you lyin' eyes
She gets up and pours herself a strong one
And stares out at the stars up in the sky
Another night, it's gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry
She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool
My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things
You're still the same old girl you used to be
You can't hide your lyin eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Honey, you can't hide your lyin' eyes
Hotel California
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year, you can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said,'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,'said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
but you can never leave
Heartache Tonight
Somebody's gonna hurt someone
before the night is through
Somebody's gonna come undone.
There's nothin' we can do.
Everybody wants to touch somebody
if it takes all night.
Everybody wants to take a little chance,
Make it come out right.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
a heartache tonight, I know.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight, I know.
Lord, I know.
Some people like to stay out late
Some folks can't hold out that long
But nobody wants to go home now.
there's too much goin' on.
This night is gonna last forever.
Last all, last all summer long.
Some time before the sun comes up
The radio is gonna play that song.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight, I know.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight, I know.
Lord I know.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
the moon's shinin' bright
so turn out the light, and we'll get it right.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight, a
heartache tonight I know.
Heartache baby,
Somebody's gonna hurt someone, (somebody)
Before the night is through
Somebody's gonna come undone,
There's nothin' we can do
(Everybody) Everybody wants to touch somebody
if it takes all night
Everybody wants to take a little chance
To make it come out right
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight ,I know
Let's go.
We can beat around the bushes;
we can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parkin' lot,
but either way, there's gonna be a
heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know.
There'll be a heartache tonight
a heartache tonight I know.
