Cows @ MindSay 
meat
I got this in an e-mail, and I thought mindsay would enjoy it.
:[ On another note, I think my boss hates me because I watch Jim Gaffigan skits with my other co-workers during work.
>DEMOCRAT
>You have two cows.
>Your neighbor has none.
>You feel guilty for being successful.
>REPUBLICAN
>You have two cows.
>Your neighbor has none.
>So?
>SOCIALIST
>You have two cows.
>The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
>You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
>COMMUNIST
>You have two cows.
>The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
>You wait in line for hours to get it.
>It is expensive and sour.
>CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.
>You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.
>The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a
>man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from
>your government.
>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.
>The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
>for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
>AMERICAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
>You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised
>when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts
>stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
>Your stock goes up.
>FRENCH CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You go on strike because you want three cows.
>You go to lunch and drink wine.
>Life is good.
>JAPANESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
>and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably
>crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
>GERMAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
>Excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
>Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
>ITALIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
>While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
>You break for lunch.
>Life is good.
>RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You have some vodka.
>You count them and learn you have five cows.
>You have some more vodka.
>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
>IRAQI CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>They go into hiding.
>They send radio tapes of their mooing.
>POLISH CORPORATION
>You have two bulls.
>Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
>FLORIDA CORPORATION
>You have a black cow and a brown cow.
>Everyone votes for the best looking one.
>Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
>Some people vote for both.
>Some people vote for neither.
>Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
>best-looking cow.
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Artwork & Farmville
I stayed awake last night until 4AM.
I'd found new inspiration on DeviantArt and I was gathering as many source pictures as I could.
Before I turned my PC off, I'd made a new folder and filled it with over 200 different pixel art base dolls.
I think they're weird, but very helpful.
They're basically naked, bald and featureless manga-esque people, designed to be altered by other users.
I don't do pixel art, but they're good reference material for when one is wondering how to draw a certain position.
I've gotten a few ideas for individual drawings, along with some simple panel comics too.
So this morning, I opened up one of my reference pictures, five people standing in a group, holding a banner - and I drew my own version.
I turned them into The Sparrows (or Team Sparrow, I can't decide on what to call them) from DATWBSVOH, the protagonist wheelchair basketball team.
[DeviantArt link...]
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I sent it to Reiss, and had an urge to draw his character.
So he sent me a photo to use as a reference, and I drew his character, who might I add - actually looks quite a lot like Reiss. (Which surprised me.)
[DeviantArt link...]
And some randomer added it to their favourites like A SECOND after it'd been uploaded.
It must've caught their eye on the recent updates page.
Reiss liked it too, which I was glad of. :)
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I spoke to Reiss for a little while and ate a bowl of chicken soup with four slices of bread.
Finally, mam's bought a loaf of my favourite bread - Warbuton's medium. I've ate shitloads of it.
Reiss sent me a YouTube link to a random fucking video called "One Day I Went To Lidl" - and it's a weird song, sung by an African bloke with a weird accent. It's about shoplifting and immigration.
Reiss is just obsessed with Lidl recently.
I had to piss at the: "One day I went to ASDA, I went to shoplift in ASDA..." part.
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I spent a few hours playing Sonic Adventure 2: Battle.
Adam got me interested in it again yesterday.
I did a few lost Chao missions, having to use the guide for a few of them.
I feel so accomplished when I get an A ranking the first time, without even going for one.
All five missions on White Jungle - for instance. A rank every time, without even aiming to get one.
And I finished off the Last Story mode and then did the following boss attack.
The Biolizard is a pile of piss when you know what you're doing.
I'm on about 87 emblems at the moment.
I need to get back to where I was on my old save - which was around 115...
I also had A ranks on all of Eggman's levels, so I'll have to do those again.
Not difficult like, Eggman is the easiest character to complete.
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Farmville!
I'm level 21 now, and I decided to annoy Shelly and buy a barn.
Shelly was saying she was going to get one, "and I better not get one first".
Then I went a bit overboard on the market and bought a ton of pointless decorations like hay bales, butter churns and wheelbarrows.
You get EXP points for them though, so it's not a total waste.
300 EXP points for the barn alone!
I took a screenshot of this very sexy corner where my barn is:
And here's my STUPID AMOUNT OF COWS:
I don't want to sell any of them though. :(
Shelly says for every 100 EXP points I overtake her, she'll spank me once.
So I wanna get ahead of her! :D
Tee hee hee... Yeah, kinky mood.
Shelly and I have been in a mint mood compared to last night.
She's been going from the kinky extreme to the musy love extreme.
At least she's giving more than one word answers on MSN. That annoys me, because when I really want to talk to her, she'll only give me "OK".
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My next blog is blog #200...
I was pondering over what I should do for it.
Blog #200 has to be SOMETHING, though.
Neutral -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POPURI'S PREGNANT!
Today's Sunday lunch was comprised of chicken - which made a change to beef. Nana used what was left to make sandwiches for tea. I fucking love cold cooked chicken, it's amazing. :D
I'm on a streak with my farm - I've gone from 61% to 70% - I've been spending all my money buying cows and sheep - and then proceeding to give them weird fucking names.
I've called one of my cows BUBBLES for fuck's sake. :)
I'm also growing massive quantities of vegetables and earning masses of money. I've finally worked out some decent strategies for this. I've also decided to get the Harvest Sprites in on the action - they can brush my animals. If I'm going to end up with 20 of them - I REALLY won't be fucking arsed to brush all of them.
I still have to go around and talk to them all though. And it helps if I milk the cows before they do. The stupid twats don't even use the cheese maker - so they're losing me vital money, damn it!
And I'll have to tell them to sod off in Autumn - either that, or leave my best sheep outside. I want to enter her in the sheep festival - and no sheep shall ever escape the vile clutches of the CLIPPING SHEARS.
And in other news - Shelly, my first cow has won the Cow Festival.
GOLDEN MILK FOR ALL!
But the thing that amused me the most was Popuri discovering SHE WAS PREGNANT.
I pissed myself when the dialogue box popped up.
Now I'm going to have to think of a name for the spawn.
Tee hee, just imagine the perecentage I'm going to get for having him. :)
It's a bit strange though - my character's name is Dixie, and my wife is Popuri.
I couldn't even combine the names, because I then end up with names like PIXIE AND POPPIE.
PMSL...
I'm pondering with names like Vito, Dean, Ashley - etc etc.
(Don't ask how the fuck those three names relate - I just seem to think they'd all fit nicely.)
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I'm so fucking distracted at the moment - I have old blogs to update and coursework to finish, but all I want to do is sit here on YouTube and watch episodes of Fillmore!
I was thinking about it, for some reason - doubted that any episodes would be available on YT, and I only went and found A SHITLOAD. :)
I love cows. They're so docile and trusting.They eat, sleep, rear young and never complain or ask for anything.You see a little rough and tumble between calves, but generally they are peaceful and kind.
Well geese , now they're a whole different ballgame.They are easy to agitate and very vocal about it. They chase you down and bite your butt in a heartbeat. They even get annoyed with each other frequently.Their quite demanding and though they flock " together" I think it's all about safety. They take care of their babies and waddle around squawking all day till they get tired. Then then tuck their head under their wing and sleep until they're rested then they wake up and start all over again!
Turkeys, well they're just stupid. Range turkeys are pissed off at the world and turkeys raised in houses are clueless. They like to grab your shoelaces because they think they have found a "white worm" that must be eaten. They live to eat.....and to freak out. They'll spook in a heart beat and crowd to the end of the turkey house until they suffocate one another.I think it's living in those unnatural houses that makes them so nuts. They never seem to learn anything!
Wild turkeys are beautiful and majestic. In fact the turkey was almost our national bird instead of the eagle.
Now dogs, they're much like humans.They vary in their personalities. Some are sweet and gentle, trusting and loyal. You can let them out in the yard and find them laying under a tree a few hours later. They want to curl up in your lap or by your side because their favorite place is with you.
But, others are angry, always looking for a fight.Let them out and they're gone with the wind.They keep to themselves and don't care if you ever show them any affection.
Dogs seem to display every emotion we have. Love, hate, pride, envy, jealousy,anger.
I can't imagine a world without dogs.
Now pigs....pigs suck.
I'm a goose. What are you?
Researchers in the UK are applying for permission to start mixing human and cow DNA for stem cell research.
This is gonna be so awesome!
I can't wait until the cow people rise up in rebellion against the mad scientists who gave them life
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