Coming Home Soon @ MindSay

I am still fighting the urge to be a bitch. An absolute smart-ass. Got a text message that pissed me off to no end. But the person who sent it should be named Holly Golightly. If you know your literature, you know what that means.

It's been a long, lonely, boring week. Christmas was good. Coming home was nice. The drive sucked though. B is stuck in Jax. He laid his bike down and got a bit banged up. I feel guilty, not being there to take care of him. And I can't help him get the bike fixed. I just feel like a bad girlfriend. Oh well. If that's the biggest of my worries, I'll consider it a blessing.

I finally got a new fridge after three months of calling maintainence once a week to come defrost the bitch. My apt mgr called me this morning right before my alarm went off to see if I was home. I was. Asleep. In my tank top and drawers. I jumped out of bed and threw on my favorite jeans. (Which, by the way, ripped last night while I was planning my weekly menu. Bah.) I had to empty out the entire fridge and freezer which was not easy in my tiny little apt. I couldn't figure out how to get the microwave down though. The guy ended up taking down and putting it back up. But I have a new fridge!! Hooray!!

We're on the last pt on time. Thank god. I have to go home and cook, and then Freeman is coming into town, so a bunch of us are going out with him. I have no idea what to wear now that my jeans are destroyed. Sad!! My baby comes home tomorrow. Finally. I miss him so much. And today is my little sisters birthday. She is 17. I feel fucking old.

I cried all the way home coming from Diana's house, but the wierd thing is is that I dont know why. I'm happy. so why am I crying?

*edit* (what I put on my myspace post)

I thought 8th grade was behind me. I thought my past had faded from my memory, but the moment a song, a face, a thought triggers a memory I become a mess. but not immediately. just in that moment when the cd player falls silent in between a song and it hits me. that horrible feeling of a mass of emotions hit me. and then I freak out. why cant I be normal? why does everything inside have to hurt. and whats worse is I cant tell anyone around me. The "real" people that I cant be real with.

and yet again, why do I bother with myspace. the ones that care most are mindsayers, while the "real" ones could care less. God forbid I make someone think, or make them sad. but damnit people, I'm supposed to be your friend!arent you "real" people supposed to care about me? but if its deep, if angel starts to get sad you back away. I dont want to do this alone. I can't.

but whats worse is I dont know whats wrong. I've fixed alot, but I'm still tearing up and screaming cuz I dont understand it.

 a post falls on deaf ears once more. I will delete this later...

*edit*

thank you mindsayers for staying by my side no matter what

Howdy Howdy all!

Well today was my FIRST day of courses at University of St. Thomas and I dug it a lot...I am a smidge perturbed that I have 2 courses and need 12 books between them! WTF!  Oh well, whadaya gonna do? Buck and Dig in, that's what! And so, La Paganista digs in...I will say I felt like quite the heretic sitting in a class room with a crucifix sporting the limp body of Jesus listening in on the lecture...Catholicism aint no joke...they do their guilt like nobody's business...

Here is a photo that callmeroger  posed for at the Thai joint...A Mindsay Homage so to speak...

Sorry I am not writing more but I have to adjust to night classes and getting home at 10pm and cracking the books after that...I have three 20 page papers to write and I am REALLY excited about them because of all the freedom I have in the direction of the paper...Because I have a Women Society and Culture concentration my papers will focus on women and children...I dont know in what way yet though (maybe punishment for women commit crimes or the children of widows---so many choices folks)...

Hey, That Remake of "The Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley performed by India Irie is lovely! Her voice is really nice...

Anyway how about some poetry...here goes... (for you, for you, for you)

Are You Coming

Oh you are coming, coming, coming,
How will hungry Time put by the hours till then? -
But why does it anger my heart to long so
For one (wo)man out of the world of (wo)men?
Oh I would live in myself only
And build my life lightly and still as a dream -
Are not my thoughts clearer than your thoughts
And colored like stones in a running stream?

Now the slow moon brightens in heaven,
The stars are ready, the night is here -
Oh why must I lose myself to love you,
My dear? Sara Teasdale

Goddess Bless 

this week was good.....yesterday i went to the dentist then i went to wendy's....that was interesting.....i was so numb

then today i went back to the dentist and then went to burger king........i got to miss first.....in latin we played a game....that was fun....my group just talked the whole time......then in geometry we had a sub and all we did was a worksheet packet......i thought we could take it home so i talked the whole class.....well it turns out the packet was due at the end of class......so i filled in answers......they are all wrong.......then in english we just talked and took vocab notes.....then i came home and went to the mall.....i got my hair colored and my eyebrows waxed.....then i came home and ate and cleaned the kitchen....now we are going to blockbuster and then we r coming home to watch a movie!!!!!