Cold Sad Eyes @ MindSay

In deep fixed breaths, the cold falling shivers
it stole the ability to hence go hither
no light shines on the absolute zero
the clenching, caniving in fear, anti-hero

I blame the one who steps foot in the path
and longing I will yearn for a final ending clash
but my curious eyes will pop the bubble of sanity
and threaten to expose the well-played fantasy

for what nails in the palm goes bleeding within
a rejecting of truth and accepting of sin
it's a blinding, undermining, whispy, chilling cold
after fires of perception flickered out under the folds

in fear, anti-hero tries to do good
but it makes cloaking the bearer an insidious hood
being haunted and chased by an anti-green it
ever finding, reminding what burning life is lit

attention, attention may i have all your eyes and ears at the front of the room for only, for only one second and hear what i have to say...let me know that ive done wrong when ive known this all along i go around a time or 2 just to waste my time with you. tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you dont wanna play, you are the only one that needs to know...all this feels strange and untrue and i wont waste a minute without you. my bones ache, my skin feels cold and i am getting so tired and so old. the anger swells with my gut and i wont feel these slices and cuts. i want so much to open your eyes coz i need you to look into mine. tell me...all i ever needed was to eat popcorn with you, come on over watch the late shows, stay up talking until 2. today's the day you'll be leaving and tomorrow you'll be gone you're in my heart and on my mind, i will bring you along, eveything sucks when...on christmas morning outside was pouring, all was hopeless in this home. no one's speaking, no one's creeping to see if she is on the phone and you were quiet coz routine riot was all but practical to me and if we see it, why cant we beat it, can we...sleep with the lights on you're not so happy, you're not secure. you're dying to look cute in your blue jeans but you're plastic just like everyone, and that faceyou paint is pressed impressing most of us permanent and id like to see you...go to sleep now and dream of his close while the sky turns from blacker to red. when you wake in the morning he will be gone and...today im fine without you, runaway this time without you and all i ever thought you'd be that face is tearing holes in me again. trust you is...what the knife took abit to early for my own good, now lets not speak of it again. dont wait, dont wait, your road is now a sudden sea and suddenly...id give up forever to touch you coz i know that you feel me somehow. you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be and i dont want to go home right now. and all i can taste...is blood between my teeth as im finding the words you're getting away well im ready, im ready to drive, im ready, im ready so dont stop, im ready so dont stop keep pushing im ready to...fall i dont want to feel this small. you know i just cant handle this, handle this at all and i just fall, i let my heart beat drop, i falter as the music stops and you watch me as i stall and wonder...where i would impress you with every single word i said would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming and you'd wanna call me and i would be there everytime you need me, id be there everytime. but for now i'll look so longingly waiting for you to...do with what we please if it were up to me we'd have all the time in the world. just stay right where i can see you when you go away i get so low like temperature when they're at the coldest. when you go away...my hands are shaking cold, your hands are mine to hold. when are you gonna keep me strong? move along, move along like i know you do and even if your hope...dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption; widing in and widing out a shine of i has caught my eye and roped me in so mesmerising and so hypnotising, i am captivated, i am...going down in flames, i am falling into this again. im going down in flames, im falling into this, oh no. dont tell me...your lips give you away, i can hear it, a jet engine through the centre of the storm and im thinking id prefer not to get rescued. 2 to none, roads that lead away from this im following myself just this once and im...sorry everyday, i wont always love these slefish things i wont always live with my regret. it was my turn to decide i knew this was our time. no one else will have me like you do, no one else will have me; only you. dont give away the end; the one thing that stays mine.

 

 

--the end-- 

 

Mark your confessions:

[ ] I'm afraid of silence.
[x] I Talk a LOT when I get really nervous.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark.
[ ] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.
[ ] I Can't sleep in a room if the door is open 
[ ] I am homosexual. nope, i just make out with girls. i don't actually have feelings for them.
[x] I believe in true love
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.
[x] I've stayed out all night.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs
[x] love Disney movies.
[ ] I am a sucker for green eyes.
[ ] I am a sucker for brown eyes
[ ] I am a sucker for blue eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fell in public.
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x] I want a better job.
[ ] I love Dr. Phil
[] I like someone.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. okay, okay, so I used to be a twelve-year-old skank. I'm sorry.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[X] I have tried alcohol.
[x] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[x] I have tried a cigarette.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. i don't even have cough drops when i am sick
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ x] I have a lot of scars. one on my knee, a lot on my right leg, six on my left leg, two on my wrists and one up my arm. oh, and a couple on my stomach, but they're fading.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I love chocolate. shh! don't tell anyone
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am not comfortable with being me. not always, but is anyone....
[x] I've played computer games when I was bored.
[x] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Thought of suicide before
[x] Seen a shooting star...
[ ] Gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] Have kissed a stranger.
[x] Have kissed someone really strange....
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of a diff. sex.
[ ] Been in a fist fight.
[ ] Been arrested.
[ ] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] Made out in an elevator.
[ ]Swore at Liberace.
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[ ] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone bitten many
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[ ] Crashed into a car.
[ ] been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] Stole something from your job. but only tiny things, like cookies
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker, and/or employee.
[ ] Been married.
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[x] Saw someone/something dying something? i saw my puupy die when i was five.  i saw my grandpa dying, but not die.
[ ] Have a list of people you want to kill.
[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day. how far is that in kilometres?
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a Plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[  Eaten sushi
[ ] Been skiing
[x] Been ice skating
[x] Cried in public. on a bus
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[ ] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone almost 24/7
[ ] Hate the world.
[x] Have loved a best friend before

 

I am: not another stupid little teenage fucking whore

I hurt: others 
I love: too much
I hate: that look on your face
I fear: what people say when they're drunk
I hope: you don't hate me

I waste: time
I talk: too fast 

I listen: to bright eyes when I'm sad
I see: the computer screen, funny that
I smell: my dinner
I taste: my dinner

I remember: bleeding on the bathroom floor

I hide: when i'm scared of you
I walk: away. fast
I drive: ...nope
I burn: things too often

I play: like a little kid
I miss: feeling like everything made sense

I feel: free and a little bit empty
I know: too much vs. not enough

I dream: too often and ignore whats real
I want: to be better

I fall: too fast

I live: ...
I find: that i tend to screw things up

 

 

 

oh fuck that i hate you all

I was sick today and I didnt go to school. My head was killing me cuz my mom was telling me things I didnt exactly want to hear and istarted to cry and my eyes were puffy this morning, I hate that when it happens. But owell what can you do other than not cry. My stomach was also hurting me. Why is it that people are getting sick/colds this time of the year? I never get it. Theres some interesting things going on with my younger brother that I am not going to discuss on the blog. I am soo cold right now its like my basement is cold outside is cold every where is cold. owell. Its supposed to snow tonight and I cant wait cuz I like the snow. But I wont hope too much on it, I might jynx myself and it might not even happen. I have to start on my Broadcasting project. well I have already started but I had to redo it being that my group hated it. It has to be at least 23 minutes no more than 30. My teacher said that because there are only three people in my group now it only has to be 23 minutes less than the 30 that every one else has to have. We are aloud to have three two minute commercials and that makes our taping down from 23 minutes to like 17 minutes. I still need to add more stuff to the script becuase we only have 17 minutes with the commercials. so we need more. Like 6 minutes more and I really dont know what else to add. We are taping on tuesday so I have the weekend. Well I will go for now

How can you have the exact same expression in so many different pictures? She's practically catatonic with those cold dead eyes. I honestly think she's a fembot.