Coin @ MindSay 
So close yet so far.
Purpose has faded.
So has a heart.
February 1, 2008 7:12 PM
this is your brain on drugs"There has to be a reason I'm here." She thought. Her life had been one of friends coming and going. And once gone .... they never seemed to return. She looked to the stars ....
to find an answer. It was slow to come. Thoughts rolled .... memories of times past. Laughs and good times .... the anticipation of sharing ....
A lightening bug flew past slowly right then. Not in any hurry to get where he needed to be. "Are you lonely too?" she asked. He flashed ..... circled and returned as if to say yes. She held out her hand ..... he landed.
No words were spoken ..... silence was shared ..... she just shed a tear as he lifted and flew off into the night with one last flash. "seems once they are gone .... they are gone." As she lifted her eyes back to the stars she realized she wasn't completely alone .... she had friends in the stars .... friends in nature .... and most importantly she realized that what friends she had was all that she needed .... to have purpose.
Peace. J.
I went on Wednesday to a funeral. It's the first one I've been to.
I wore my blazer for the first time that day. I was planning on wearing it for a school open-house, but I dislocated my knee-cap two days before, so that didn't pan out.
The reason I went was the reason a majority of my senior class went: the mother of one of our classmates (we call him Beast sometimes) died. She died on March 27, 2008, a few days after her birthday on Easter.
Our school talks a lot about how much brotherhood the school has. We all thought it was just a joke when we started going here, but there we were, overfilling the pews.
There were only 6 guys out of the two hundred and thirty-something that didn't go. Those of us didn't know Beast's mom or Beast himself went anyway to show him that he wasn't alone and that his class supported him.
We got to leave from school a bit after 10, and we were supposed to come back before 1:45, just in time for one more class. Many of the guys were planning on skipping because it was pointless.
Even I, Mr. Follow the rules, was considering skipping, but I couldn't decide, so I borrowed a coin, a Sacajawea coin, with the mother and the baby pictured on it, before the ceremony started. I was gonna flip it after: Heads, I go back to school; tails, skip.
It was a Catholic funeral, so there was the whole mass bit. There were 3 priests there, one was from our school. The other two used to serve at the church; one had this really deep monotone voice. He sounded like some robotronic martian. I was fighting back a smirk and trying not to laugh when I first heard him talk; I was so glad that he wasn't the main speaker.
When we went up for communion, I let the priest know that I wasn't Catholic, so he gave me a blessing instead:"May we all be united one day in the kingdom of Tracy [Beast's mother]."
It wasn't very emotional until the end. Beast's family came up one by one to say a few words. There wasn't that much crying until that point, I guess it's because it just hit them that they were finally saying good-bye. I found myself fighting back a few tears as well.
When it was Beast's turn to speak, he started off by saying,"I promised myself that if my mom could fight off cancer for two years, that I could fight off tears for two minutes." That broke a lot of the tension in the church. He did pretty well for most of it, but you could tell there was a lot of emotion in his voice, and he paused sometimes to recompose himself. I'm not used to seeing a classmate cry; it was...weird.
After everyone said their good-byes to Beast's mother, we went outside to release three doves. I watched them fly off. The third one flew off a bit late, but caught up with the other two pretty quickly.
The seniors then started talking amongst themselves on where they were going for lunch, and whether or not they were going back to school.
I realized at that point that I would have nothing to do for an hour if I did. My mom would probably yell at me if I did, and that's never a good thing. So I just returned Sacajawea -- I didn't even flip the coin. I was going back to school, along with half the class.
For the rest of the day we asked, "why did I come back?"
Off to Yreka this morning .... insurance stuff due again .... and of course I have procrastinated till the very last second ..... thank god for leap year and that extra day.
Then this afternoon I headed over to the Senior Center to meet with the current Bingo committee. Yes, I do lead an exciting life.
One thing I did make clear ..... I'm not there to get yelled at ..... so, if they feel the need to bitch about stupid stupid shit like the last time ..... I have no reason to VOLUNTEER my services. I'm 50 ..... not dead ..... and I don't live for Bingo. I volunteer solely because of my mom ..... she loves her Bingo and would be bummed if there were not enough people available to make sure it continues on. I also told the committee chairman lady that if the old "crew" don't like what we are doing or how we are doing it ..... they need to back off. They walked out on the job and were ready to let it go ..... so SHUT UP! This benefits them as well.
And of course one of the ladies that showed up today was one I about pushed away from me last Monday ..... she was up in my face ..... and I don't freaking care how old you are ..... trust me, if you are in my face you are going to get pushed away. Or punched out. One of the two. So back off.
Another beautiful day ..... sunny ..... and warmer ..... 55 degrees today. Our artichokes are showing some signs of life as well as the rhubarb. And the onions have shown some life as well. Its amazing what a little sunshine can do. Seriously ..... spring / summer can not get here soon enough to suit me. As I have said many times before.
So tomorrow I need to get up early and force myself to get moving. Thinking a little geocaching this weekend ..... ***fingers crossed***
And speaking of geocaching ..... the cache I hid last week ..... private property. One of my finders got his ass chewed apparently .... and the owner of the property "not amused". Well, there are no signs .... none, no "Private Property", no "No Trespassing", no fencing .... nothing ..... but the cacher that the owner found assured him I would remove the cache. He (the cacher) then contacted me. We had snow and rain for a couple days after that ..... I got over there on Monday ..... the cache was gone. So today I go back knock on the door of the closest house which was about 1/3 mile down the road .... opposite side of the road from where the cache was. It was a very quick visit as he told me without hesitation he had thrown it away. And I realized there was no reason to rant ..... it would only make things worse. The bad part is the coin someone had dropped into the cache. I guess I need to offer to replace it. I apologized for my mistake but feel that it was met on deaf ears. He said something about vandals .... but yet again, no signs at all .... no fencing ..... and close to the forest service boundary .... its like he is inviting vandals .... and most geocachers are not vandals .... most are very respectful folk. Done ranting.
I hope everyone's Thursday was grand. And enjoy what is left of your evening.
Tomorrow is another day .... yay ....
Peace. J.
Our local news out of Medford reported tonight that some folks out lost in the snow found a box that happened to be a geocache. On that box were the coordinates written to where they were. They were able to call out and give the search and rescue people those coordinates and were found shortly thereafter.
I wonder if they put it back properly where it belongs ????
So .... I have made a decision for the memorial tattoo. I will have it done this spring once we have a steady income again. But for the time being ..... I really had this dragonfly idea in my head and it just wouldn't let go. But I wanted something special .... blueeyedtawni and cllecr had both come up with some awesome suggestions and up until this morning I've been thinking of a design to go with. Then I looked over at my little filing cabinet next to the computer and there sat my answer.
I'm thinking cllecr may recognize this .... I love it .... and the design is perfect. It has been emailed (like that is really going to help) to the tattoo dude and I am waiting for an answer ....
That's it .... night all.
Peace. J.
The ‘Coin Killer Game’ is an interactive solution to a viral marketing challenge posed by most anticipated release of 2007, the new Coen brothers movie, No Country for Old Men.
This attraction is being hailed as the best piece of filmmaking ever evidenced by the cinematic siblings - its certain to be a ‘must-see’ movie for millions of devoted fans. In this film, a compressed air tank welding villain played by Javier Bardem asks a gas station attendant ‘How much have you ever wagered in a coin toss?’. The same dialogue has been preserved online in the opening frames of the Coin Killer Game.
After uploading a personal photo, each visitor must click the ‘flip this coin’ prompt and watch as an American quarter rotates up above the banner, where it disappears… The user is asked to chose ‘Heads or Tails?’
This exciting challenge ends with each visitor ultimately losing the match, and then watching in horror as his or her personal photo becomes a ‘death portrait’.
The game imagines the player's death portrait and simulates what each face would look like after being struck by the villain’s signature weapon. Check out the author’s own face after the gruesome attack.
The Coin Killer Game is the next evolution of online marketing; already a facebook widget, this application is almost certain to convey tens of thousands of unique viewers to the No Country for Old Men site before the campaign ends in late November.
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