Closing Night @ MindSay

HUGE RANT WARNING

I know this is a rant, but if I don't disclose it all here, I'm going to explode.

The week has made me want to take a dose of shotgun mouthwash. Worst of all, it's not even over. I was scheduled to work Thursday thru Sunday until I got a call at 9 PM on Tuesday by a manager, being asked to close for a sick co-worker. I needed the tips so I went in. I wasn't told literally none of the closing duties had been done. Needless to say, I was there until 3 AM. I stayed up literally all night on Wednesday night to help my Fiance study for a test she needed to pass, in order to pass the semester. I got about 2 hours of sleep today, Thursday, before going in to for my closing shift at work, getting out at 3:30 AM because it was extremely busy due to homecoming week. I have classes tomorrow that I have to attend if I want any chance at succeeding this semester. I also have to work the 8 hour closing shift tomorrow through Sunday. I get paid tomorrow but it has to go straight to pay rent and bills.

That's not even the half of it, though. My Fiance's sister, who is up to her eyeballs in debt for a car she couldn't afford, and her boyfriend are staying the night at our apartment tonight because they didn't pay their electric bill. Speaking of electric bill, let me interject here, I pay the one for our apartment, and yet I get yelled at when I tell people they need to turn off the lights, computer, TV, etc. when they're not using them, and furthermore, the repairman from our realty company came today, without warning, and winterized everyone's A/C and pilot-lit their gas heaters in our entire complex. It was 80 degrees outside today. I was about to burn down the Realty Office, to say the least, if I didn't have to go to work. It made me decide not to renew the lease when December comes. I will be looking for a small house to rent.

Anyway, I was told they would not be staying another night, but not because my Fiance told them they couldn't, it's because my Fiance's younger brother is coming down to visit for the homecoming game and "we" promised him a place to stay.

I'm pissed off at this for a few reasons. I was never formally asked about any of this. It was always "(Fiance's sister's name and boyfriend) are staying here tonight" and "It's okay if (Fiance's little brother) stays here for the game, right? I don't want him to stay with (Fiance's sister and BF) because they might smoke pot with him there."

Interjecting again, this ties into something else I realized. All my "friends" here are actually just friends by association of my Fiance. I really don't have any friends in this city. But it pisses me off that the largest social gatherings here happen while I'm working, and I'm tired of being lied to that "they're you're friends, too." They never voluntarily initiate conversation, electronically or physically. A recent weekend when my Fiance went out of town, I spent the entire weekend working, sleeping, and cleaning. Not a single "friend" of mine ever contacted me or showed up at the door the entire weekend.

Back on subject, my answer should have been: No, they're not staying here. They still fucking owe us money. I don't give a shit. AND Who cares? I like to smoke pot. Maybe he does as well.

A small note, here. I do smoke marijuana occasionally. I am very sensitive to it, unlike my Fiance, who doesn't get a high from it at all. Even with shwag, it only takes me a few hits to feel good. My Fiance and I got into a related argument over it this weekend. She's fine with me smoking, but doesn't want it anywhere inside our apartment. I can understand this, but I believe I should be allowed to keep a very small amount for personal use. I'm not going to lie. I feel much less depressed and more energetic for days on end after I take a few hits of something. I'm just going to have to concede that she doesn't understand it as I do and get over it.

To sum it all up, here, I'm just feeling used, rushed, fractured, and I'm literally sick (flu) on top of it all right now, and I hope it'll get better.

So it's all over. Yesterday was closing night and the cast party. The actual play went well, but everything just sort of sucked afterwards. I never realized how separated the entire cast actually was. There was so much drama and fuss about everything: "the original five," the cast party, Ms. Shell no longer directing, Lauren... just to name a few.

 

I'm so glad that I'm not a part of it anymore.

 

The cast party, the one thing I was truly excited about, was horrible because the restaurant didn't have enough tables to sit us all in one group. So five people (including myself) were excluded from the big group (about twenty). But what pisses me off the most is that there were techies and other people (random friends), who were not in the cast, at the "main" table! Honestly, what the fuck? They weren't even in the play!  My god, it was a horrible night. We felt so excluded.

 

Of course, there were some cool people (like Matt ) who came over to our table often and chatted with us. But otherwise, it was just wrong. I couldn't believe what happened. I'm still very much pissed about it. To the point where I'm thinking of never doing a school play again. Fuck them all, really. I just can't believe them. I don't know how much longer I'll feel this way towards them, but the whole experience has left some bad really feelings. It certainly has.

 

But regarding the actual performance, I thought I did well on closing night, except that my hat kept falling off to the point where, at the end of act II, I had to actually hold it up with my hand. I was quite pleased with how I did act III. My brother also came to see me, but he said the play was boring and that he "didn't get it." Well, I'm glad he's honest. (It's rather understandable. I never really liked the play in the first place). Nearly all of my friends came on Friday night. They said I was very good, but I could tell that they also didn't really like the play either.

 

I'm just glad it's over. That's all I can say. I thought it'd be a bittersweet ending, but it really wasn't. I told everyone that I was not going to audition for Bye Bye Birdie for sure. Some want me to do tech at the very least, but I've already decided that I'm not doing to. There are just too many overbearing factors leading me in the other direction.