Classes @ MindSay 
school
Classes have been going well and just trying to catch u on reading and keep it to where I don't get behind. I'm doing quite well in school, a lot better than I had thought. Still can't let up, I'm too much a slacker so here goes. First time for everything, but so easily to mess up, and incredibly hard to fix. Wish life wouldn't treat me so much like that.
So during all the stuff of what I do for fun. I go and download Disney's Gargoyles. Everyone at my college is flipping out that I have the entire series of it. The reason why I also downloaded it was of course retro feel. The show is from 1994 and one of the DARKEST Disney shows ever to this day. The show was like 74 episodes long. There was about 30+ episodes I never saw. so I actually got to see how it finally ended. And Disney did such a heck of a job that it ended very well. I have never a series were a good amount of episodes were so good. Talking about gun control, mafia, the Illuminati, Shakespeare. Very very good. In the end the Gargoyles were finally able to coexist with humans in modern day society. I seriously thought they were dead in that last episode. Xantos saved them. I have to say this has some of the coolest bad guys you love to hate, but really enjoyed them when they made a pack with the Gargoyles to fight a bigger bad guy. It's probably the most down to earth, haha I know that sounds funny but it really is. The good guys weren't always perfect, same thing with the bad guys. Good guys would do some crazy stuff, and the bad guys had a good reasons to be a bad guy.
Now as for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I'm starting from the very beginning of this show. So 1987 was the first aired. First season was only 5 episodes, and the second season is 3 episodes. So easily watched. I have to admit, as hold as this show was. All the puns hold up very very very well. You laugh at everything. There's so many laugh out loud moment.s It's like they know they have to stop something and they discuss it, but they're just standing there instead of engaging. I was still impressed with some of the fighting. It's not like ninjistu, but the Turtles really pulled off some crazy stuff that still worked. (Puns included lmao). April O' Neal is still quite hot, and she isn't really that stupid. Her voice isn't annoying and she has that light pink lipstick it, wow no wonder so many guys liked her. She holds up pretty well for a cartoon haha ^_~. I remember every episode, the only thing I couldn't remember about any of them is the ending to them exactly. Also I noticed that all the Turtle-coms are almost stuff we use today. Like their coms slide up, or flip up (the flip up ones have it to where you can see the person. As well as track people down.) So really all the phones we use today came from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Donatello). I still recommend this series. I'm still downloading season 3 which is the largest by far, it's 45 episodes so it'll be a while. But so far everyone of the episodes have been solid, still entertaining.
Halloween is this weekend. Whats everyone dressing up as. My costume is an Old school rapper. The costume I wearing comes with a long sleeve turtle neck, thick glasses, hat, and of course giant gold chain, gold clock, and gold ring. ^_^ So start posting what you're going to be. Just leave them in the comment box to show me your costume or something.
Alright hitting more reality base. My friend Ryne supposedly has been fired from the Gamestop I worked at a little over a year ago. He's one of the original managers from when I was working. He would have been on his third year. It seems like both of us just missed the three year mark barely. I don't know what happened but all I got to say is that Ryne put up with a crap ton. He probably got forced out like I did, but he learned what they did to me and probably got himself fired. They treated him like dirt, and he has a ton of evidence on those guys, cutting his hours when he actually worked them. He has all his time slips and what not. So he can bury a lot of people easily. I hope he does, that place is practically finished. It was us who held that place together. Every time I go in there customers still remember me and still ask me questions. so good luck to that store, you got rid of your best people, even if the place wasn't doing well. They all suck now anyways. The only advice I can give you people who love Game stop or want to work there. DO NOT go above Game Adviser. That's when your life gets taken over and what not. However if you think you can handle it be my guest.
I remember them trying to tell me I wasn't doing a good job at being a assistant manager. I'm thinking to myself saying "Well you kind of didn't have enough people and I had to do everything more then a game adviser. " My boss at the time gave me that job because she said I survived enough and practically was doing more things than my job titled. It was time for me to get paid for it. I wouldn't have taken if she wasn't right. I should get paid doing that stuff especially when it wasn't in my job to do it. Ryne better off, we're now both able to focus on school, and leave all that dirty work to them. Nothing is barely coming out this winter, everything spring. I'll still probably have to visit because I still probably have a little bit of old employees there, but they barely get any hours so they're bound to leave since Ryne has been fired. Still pisses me off we all been through a lot together. But that's how it goes, and that is why I got to stay away from retail and restaurants. Only problem those are the only two places that hire mostly ugh.
Last year I was almost dead set on becoming something in the medical career. I love watching medical shows (House) and especially medical documentaries (i.e. about OCD, conjoined twins, progeria, etc).
However, I've analyzed my life and realized with my laziness and lack of motivation for schoolwork, I cannot become anything in the medical career. Just because I am fascinated with the human body and different conditions, does not mean I am cut out to become a physician. It takes discipline, love of ALL people and able to control people when they are in hysterics/a mad fit of rage/etc, being able to work long hours, MANY years of school along with top marks, and not being grossed out by normal things.
When it comes to myself, I obviously lack discipline, I am not a fan of children (although I honestly love people...especially my friends. I care deeply about all of you...really, I do), I am lazy and therefore would not be able to work long hours, I do not want to be in school for too many more years (and again due to my laziness I have shit marks), and I get grossed out when I see someone bleeding in real life.
What it comes down to, is that last year, I thought I wanted to be in the medical career, but after realizing the above things, I changed my mind. I looked at my interests and decided that history would be much better suited to me, despite the fact it may be hard to find jobs here in T-BAY. I'm sure I will find something though. There are problems with every career path.
However, my main problem standing in my way is my laziness in school. I used to be a straight-A student, but after I went through a bad fit of depression a few years ago, I stopped caring, and stopped doing regular homework. As a result, today I am several weeks behind in all my courses, and brutally failing. I have very difficult courses (2 University courses and 2 advanced placement courses. Maths and Sciences, no doubt) and have dug my self a deep, deep hole in less than 2 months. I have no idea how I'm going to get from failing to above a 70% average before exams…especially with the fact that today I found out that only the first half my Calculus course counts towards my mark, meaning that I got to do extremely well on the last few assignments/quizzes/tests and the exam in order to get a passing mark. It will be hell, but it's something I got to do.
But now that I realize what I want to do in University, I'm asking myself "Why am I taking the extremely hard courses and not doing any work and failing when I could take easy courses, not do any work and pass?" It's obviously because last year I thought I was going into the medical career, but I really should have changed my semester around in September, and then I wouldn't be in this situation. And I wouldn't have to deal with the stuck up, rich, preppy kids either. They keep asking me "What is your mark, Kristal? What did you get on your test, Kristal?" etc etc. I always say, "I don't discuss marks." because it's really none of their business. This therefore poses the question "Why ask if you don't care?" (Hence the title of this blog.) Because really, they are not friends with me, I don't talk to them (and vice versa), and my mark has nothing to do with them. I believe they are asking in order to feel a sense of superiority against me. I don't know if they realize I'm failing (they prob. do) but really, they should be concerned about their own mark, not mine. I feel shitty enough for being selfish and not doing anything, I don't need them laughing at me along the way.
High school is bullshit. It's shit years in which the problems we face do not matter in the long run. Sure, things like pregnancies will affect those girls who get pregnant, but really, 90% of the people in my classes are caught up in the world of sports, student council meetings, drinking with friends and homework, and complain when a teacher they have tries to teach like a university professor to get them prepared for real life. It annoys me that they live in this protective little bubble of meaningless gossip, and unleash their "problems" unto other people.
I'm just glad that I got out of that group many years ago. I believe my friends really do understand the real world, and understand real problems. Of course we all bitch about our problems, but I really do think all my friends problems are true and really matter: they aren't about a basketball game, they are about illness, poverty and drug use. Of course we all worry about friends (myself included) but I believe in order to really be a high school student that's prepared for real life once they get out, we must know and experience bits of reality outside our shell. Of course, we all must enjoy friends: that's the fun! But we mustn’t be ignorant either.
I love you guys, truly and deeply. I'm so glad you face reality instead of ignore it. Don't ever lose that about you.
-Kristal St. Jean
I'm getting sick, thanks to either my lovely supervisor or my delightful co-worker, both of whom decided it was okay to come to work sick. At least my supervisor had what she thought was just a cold. Stupid co-worker came in to work with strep. HOWEVER! There's two confirmed cases of swine flu in my town, and it's not a huge town. And I know one of the people who has it. I'm trying really hard not to get paranoid. But given that I was exposed to strep, I'm thinking that if I don't notice a decisive improvement and/or I feel like I'm getting really sick by Thursday evening, I'm calling and making a doctor's appointment Friday morning. Just to be safe. And I'm staying away from my mother and my nephew. They don't need to get sick. My brother doesn't either, but...my brother's not in an elementary school or working with the elderly. I cannot get sick. At least not sick enough to miss work or classes--which start a week from today.
Speaking of classes, I got my parking permit today. It's shiney! Now I just need to get my Discover card so I can go buy the last 3 text books I need. One might wait for a bit. It's just "Mandragola."
Speaking of books (I know...tangents), The Historian is really really good so far. I feel like one of those bimbos who thinks everything they come across is wonderful. No movie is bad (even if it's TERRIBLE), every book is amazing and life-altering. It's not like that. I knew Stardust was going to be amazing; it's Neil Gaiman, and he's amazing at whatever he does, lucky bastard. But The Historian is really good, too. Full of--you guessed it--history and really rich writing; it's written by a college history teacher, whose father was also a history professor. And it's--supposedly, and I'm taking this with a grain of salt, given that it is still classified as fiction--very autobiographical. I'm enjoying it.
I'm also going to be enjoying sleep very very soon. I'm thinking sleep is my main key to kicking whatever I've got. That and a healthy dose of vitamins, which I've been taking religiously for the past few days. I don't get it; as soon as I start taking vitamins, I get sick. This happened last year when I started adding the immunity boost to my smoothies when I worked at Jamba. Bull shit. Not fair. :(
And with that, I bid you adieu. Goodnight, Mindsay.
Yeah, classes have hit me hard this past week, and next week will be the same. I have quite a bit due within the next 7 days, that I don't even know where to start. I'm really glad I'm going to be going home this weekend, but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to get a huge break or anything. While I'm home I'm going to be working on my 8 page rough draft for English, or my full lab report due in Chemistry, or that pesky 20 minute oral group presentation I have due in GT1000. At least I think I did well on my Calc test I had on Tuesday, I think that's what I worried about the most out of everything.
So, in all this anxiety, I couldn't even sleep last night. I just laid in bed thinking about all the stuff I needed to do, rolling around and failed miserably at trying to rest. I finally forced myself out of bed around 11, because I was too tired to move, and went off to English class. That's probably the most boring and useless class I'm taking right now. Yep, even behind my introduction courses to the major I want to change out of. We have a class on the information age, and my professor blabs about topics everyone in the class clearly is bored of hearing about. It's fine that she has a passion for the subject, and all that jazz, but we just listen for an hour and a half to her talking about some reading we were supposed to read, and then half the class wakes up and everyone leaves. The paper we have due within the next few weeks (with the rough draft due next Wednesday) is going to be a blast.. I have to research our readings enough to make a suitable 8 page essay! Woo!
Besides schooling though, things have been alright I guess. I'm really happy with how Jordan and I are doing, and every time we talk I feel so much better. She's a sweetheart, and I'm so glad she's my girlfriend. Besides that though, the stress is getting to me, and I've been getting frustrated with some people pretty easily. I can't wait for Thanksgiving, it'll be nice to see the entire family and relax for 4 days. That's pretty much when my massive pile of work comes to an end, I can't wait. Just a week and a half left!
It's also been kind of depressing talking with some friends here about football, everyone is bummed out about our loss last week to UNC, considering it crushed any chance of us getting to the ACC Championship. We were so close! Ah well, we're going to have a great team in upcoming years, I'm happy we already have a strong start under our new coach. We already have as many wins as we did the last 5 years under our old coach Chan Gailey.
Today I've kind of been in an odd music listening mood, I've been listening to a bunch of different artists on shuffle, but I guess the artist that sticks out for the day would be one of my all time favorites, Sum 41. I can't get enough of them today, and on that note I should probably go back to doing homework. Here's a lyric to think about though from good ol' Sum 41:
"When will my problems disappear
Am I just going crazy from the fear
Oh my, oh my I'm going far past the brink
This pressure's like a weight but I still can't think straight
Perfection is my direction
Even if that's all I had
It's not like I need no correction
I just know that life's not so bad
I've met my destinations
What's life to complain about
With all these aggravations
Building till the seams fall out
I'm running my mouth dry"
-My Direction - Sum 41
The lyrics apply some to my situation, but I just felt like putting some lyrics up. I honestly for once in my life am having difficulty finding a song to describe how I'm feeling right now. I'll update later if anything else comes up!
I don't like this at all. Every time I try to get things together, it all just falls apart around me. I give up.
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