Circumstances @ MindSay

It's the same old stuff, day after day... wake up, shower, eat breakfast, drink coffee.  go to work.  do the same old work.  eat lunch.  more work.  come home.  probably another shower.  some evening comtemplation.  then bed.

 

Where is the life in all of that?  Where is the purpose of it all?  What is the point in any of it?  Living just for the sake of living and getting through the days seems so mediocre.  And humans should be so much better than that.  Sure, we all go through days when we just don't want to care.  We're stressed, we have a lot on our minds, and all we want to do is make it through a couple of hours and past our current dispositions.  But that's just it... we are our dispositions.  Time doesn't change that.  We change that.  Circumstances may have an influence, but changing circumstances themselves do not warrant any such change.  It is up to us to make our lives purposeful and meaningful.  If we want to make a point in our lives, we have to make it ourselves, not wait for things to line up, for the bad days to pass, for us to feel more prepared.  The time is and always will be now.

 

I've had an interesting train of thoughts throughout the day...

 

We owe ourselves so much more than just living our lives.  We have the ability to make it all so grand and glorious.  Not all of us choose this path, though.

 

Someone once explained to me a saying about not being able to see the forest for the trees.  It means that you're focusing so much on specific problems or issues that you're missing the larger purpose, the bigger picture.  Sure, problems may arise, but don't let those problems consume you.  Give them the time they rightfully deserve, and then move on.  That should be more than enough resolution to any situation:  the knowledge that you gave it a try.

 

But what happens when that try just isn't enough, when there's just not a sense of resolution no matter what?  What if you're so stuck up in the trees that you're missing the spectacular forest all around you?  Sometimes when things hurt bad enough, it's hard to get on with our lives, to even think about other things.  But we must.  Or at least we must if we ever want to get to a place where we can feel satisfied and accomplished again.  It's not going to be easy, and it probably won't be an overnight transformation.  It takes time, and it takes hard work.  Lots of hard work.  But I hate to think that anyone couldn't get on with life because of one situation.

 

Maybe it's because I'm young and naive, maybe it's because I have wisdom in some form or another, or maybe it's just because of what I've lived through, but when I really need to, I can keep life from hurting me... that doesn't mean I don't cry a lot... I can be an emotional person, but I only allow myself to be that way when I'm around people with whom I am comfortable.  What I'm referring to is more about a complete surrender and acceptance of relative powerlessness and an understanding that I am the only one who can make myself happy, no matter what happens in the world around me.  Other people may be able to inflict physical pain upon me, but I am the only one who can control my emotional pain.  My heart cannot ache unless I allow it to do so.

 

Does this make me appear cold to people, especially ones who don't know me as well?  Yes, I think it does, and that may be a drawback.  I can be euphoric when the time is appropriate, but in general, my emotions are a bit more collected and passive.  Not to the point of being stoic, I hope.  In general, it's a form of protection, and inside, it keeps me happy much, much more often.

 

You might think this is all a load of bullshit, and I can't expect everyone to believe or understand what I'm trying to say.  But for me, it works.  Life will happen anyway, so why not allow yourself the knowledge that you don't have to be affected by every single bad thing that happens to you?  Every now and then, people mistake this for me being a very strong person.  Maybe I am strong emotionally... I'm not sure.  But more than anything, I think it is simply the peace I have found within myself to be accepting of life as it comes at me. 

 

You can't go your whole life only reacting to what happens.  Someone insults you... you're angry and offended.  Someone is nice to you... you're happy.  Someone trips and falls... you laugh.  Someone tries to hurt you... you cry.  You're only reacting.  You are utterly and entirely controlled by what happens to you.  It's time to start happening to the world, not the reverse.  Act, too.  Don't just react.

 

I have to thank Dan Millman and "Socrates" for that analogy. 

 

Live life with a purpose, not matter what it may be.  If you don't want to let people hurt you, then just don't let them.  Don't shut the world out, but don't let the world control you either.

 

And be strange.  I hear it keeps things interesting (if you're reading this and we've discussed this lately, the rest of this has not been directed at you, it was simply a nice, light joke to throw in at the end, kind of like a James Taylor song on a Saturday morning road trip =D).

Yes ... I'm home again!  The car is still down and I was unable to find a ride to work, but I'm also breaking down and going to the doctor so it's a personal day.  The radiator guy was totally surprised when I called this morning to tell him that the car overheated yet again on our way home on Friday.  He obviously had not test-driven it.  Yes, I'm anxious to get it back, but getting it back FIXED is the goal!  So ... Dr appt then drop off the car ... again!

 

Ya know ... every one of us has "seasons" like this when it seems everything is against us.  I've been talking with my son about this ... There are two ways to respond to unpleasant circumstances:

1. The first way can manifest itself in a number of ways, but the root of it is bitterness.  "Why me?  Nothing ever goes right for us!"  This is frequently surrounded with anger, frustration, dispair, discouragement, and self-pity.  This is a natural course of our thoughts when things in our lives displease us or don't go according to our plans.  We get angry and begin to look about us for someone or something else to blame because it certainly cannot be our own fault.  The problem with this route is that may start out innocent enough, just frustrated because the check bounced or the car fender now has a crease.  But, if we linger there long enough, the frustration grows and contorts into other uglier creatures like resentment that can become lifelong attitudes.
   
   I've done some thinking on this matter over the years, and at some point, came to a remarkable discovery.  We make an amazing assumption early on in this life that somehow we're entitled to a "good" life.  Where does that come from and who defines "good?"  Why do we ask, "Why me?" as though for some unknown reason we, among all the people of the earth, should be marked for exclusion to discomfort or suffering.  A curious line of thinking ...
   
   
2. The second way to respond is much less natural.  It begins with an awareness of how, even at our best, we are not always "good" people, and that because we are not always "good" people, sometimes the consequences of our behaviors and thoughts catch up to us in unpleasent circumstances.  Not all the "bad" stuff comes at us for this reason, but if we start in this position, it is much easier to be thankful for the "good" that does come our way. 

It's a matter of perspective.  In attitude #1, we have a tendency to look down on our circumstances and judge them according to our plan.  From this perspective, for example, the glass will always look less than half full.

 

On the other hand, if we can assume attitude #2, at least sometimes, we will be amazed at the smallest pleasures as we look up in wonder.  The car may still be down & my body may be quite uncomfortable, but the sun is shining & the cardinals are singing ... and it's warmer today than yesterday.  The glass is most certainly at least half full!  There are many things I do not understand ... but, for now, this is enough.

 

~ B

If you keep stumbling over something, do you pick it up to look at it?  Kick it aside? Continue to ignore it and thus keep stumbling?  Examine it from your vaunted height to gain perspective?

How do you approach something like that?

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of ATTITUDE on life. ATTITUDE to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, or say, or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company . . . a church . . . a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the ATTITUDE we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our ATTITUDE. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you . . . we are in charge of our ATTITUDE."
~Anonymous

well, here we meet again, under unusual circumstances. or not. well i guess unusual compared to some circumstances. you never know we could meet one day in a field of sunflowers looking a two dollar coin. ha! thats more like the needle in a haystack theory. but do you know what ive always wanted to do, well what i think would be soo good to be in a vast field of sunflowers so extremely tall and dense that all you can see around you are the sunflowers and when you look up a blue sunny sky, and ofcourse when you look down, you see the ground..lol..hmm just a dream.

im going to tell you about my every unadventurous day that was experienced by yours truly. ha who else would experience my day i wonder?
well anyway, it started out like this: i woke up, did the basic morning routine which consists of the basics and when i was ready i had no idea what i was going to do so i decided to continue watching the many movies of "Anne of Green Gables", however i watched the sequel as i watched the first movie the day before. so yea, i watched and forward fast moments which bore me and while watching the movie/s i had lunch. lunch consisted of 2 minute noodles, however in this instance it was more like 5 minute noodles as i forgot about them, ha! well atleast they were cooked. lol. so yea i finished lunch and watching the movies and then went outside and sat with Jack. i went back inside and went on the computer for abit and then i had to go get changed to go to work. yay. so it came to 3.30 which then i started work and no i didnt nearly fall in the bin this time..haha..yes for all those who dont know, one time when i had to do the rubbish at work i nearly fell into the huge bin only because i had to jump up and try and push the heavy lid up so it would unjar its self and yea, but no repetition of that this week thankgoodness. so working continued and i chatted with a lady about mascara for like 15 minutes..lol..it was a great chat..lol..she had sensitive eyes..lol..so yea the hours passed and it was time for me to go home, but i decided to walk home and appantly my younger sister didnt tell mum that i was walking as when i was like a corner away from home mum drove past me and bipped the horn so i met her at home. and yea, she was waiting at work for me for like 15 minutes when nat finally decided to tell mum that i was walking home and mum and i both had no credit to call or message each other to notify each other of our location. so my whole having a phone situation is pointless unless someone wants to have a chat or message me for the sake of it.  so yea i got home and had dinner and made a deal with my younger sis (aka nat) that if she watches sailormoon with me i'll watch her hockey game tomorrow, which i got the bad end of the stick as i wouldnt have had to made a deal with her coz she would have watched it with me anyway even if i just asked. but hey now im acutally going to watch a hockey game. yay. the world makes sense again. but ill survive even if i get bored out of my brain, nat was overly happy that i was going so i guess as nat is happy then i should be too, right? yes its all peachy. yea so anyway we watched a few episodes of sailormoon but then we stopped and then i felt like watching a movie so i decided to watch "must love dogs" hahaha! that is such a funny movie. well it made me laugh, but i guess that isnt had to accomplish. when the movie finished which was at 10.10pm i went in the living room to get ready to watch veronica mars, which mind you is such a good show! just love it! so yea. that was pretty much the basis of my day.
my desire of the day: to have an inside dog that is soo lovely and so loyal and just like the dog in "must love dogs" awww she was sooo cute. but im content with Jack, even though he isnt an inside dog nor is mine, more like my other sisters however he may aswell be mine as it is me who baths him and pays attention to him. sob story.

well i better end it here.

 

 

--consider blog ended--