Cinderella @ MindSay

 "EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
how to fall in love without losing herself."  ~ Maya Angelou

I had lunch with a friend I hadn't really seen in about 10 yrs yesterday.  We met at 11:30 and didn't leave the restaurant until 4:30!  We solved all the major ills of the world, of course, but much of our conversation swirled around the above theme.  I have 2 daughters and she has one ... and we talked about the differences in how we were raised and how we raised our daughters.

I was raised in the 50's and 60's ... she's 10 yrs younger than me, but we were all, as little girls, spoon fed Barbie and Cinderella images and dreams.  In other words, we were taught directly and indirectly that the ideal life for us girls centered on marriage & children.  There was little, if any, talk of career or even employment.  There was NO discussion of self-sufficiency or independence.  None.  It was a "given" that all girls would grow up, get married and have babies, and, naturally, live happily ever after with Prince Charming!  My friend's childhood was much the same. OOOPS!

My question today is ... What has changed in the last few decades?  Are our little girls still raised with the images of Barbie, Cinderella, and happily-ever-after? I have made a distinct effort to impress on each of my 3 kids (2 girls/ 1 boy) the need for independence.  They each need to be able to support themselves financially and build a life to their own liking.  None of them are in a relationship at this point, and each of them are in fact, pursuing their career ... or at least heading in that direction.  They each have distinct goals and dreams, and a thought-out plan to achieve those dreams ... none of which I had when I was their age!

Of course, this in no way diminishes the dream of a happy & fulfilling relationship at some point ... (and grandbabies!), but I have worked hard to demonstrate that there's no hurry!  Get your feet securely planted.  Figure out who you are and who you want to be.  Build your life around your interests, with your priorities. Mr or Ms Right will come along when you least expect it, but if you're busy looking, you may be distracted by a counterfeit! 

Girls ...  Ladies, young and, umm, not so ... Cinderella: Friend or Foe?  How many of us were on some level deceived by this fairytale and the dreams it spawns? How many have found themselves trapped in abusive or less than ideal relationships because we had no career to support ourselves, or even to find affirmation. How many women have lost themselves to their relationships without even realizing it? Not very Happily-ever-afterish.

OK ... I got off my point, but ... ladies, figure out who you are and who you WANT to be.  We don't NEED a man to do that!  We don't need a Man to confirm our great value, our intelligence, our resourcefulness, our creativity, our compassion, our resilience ... We just need to take the time to get acquainted with ourselves and follow our own passions.  THEN ... we can share ourself without losing who we are. Don't be cheap, ladies! If we want others to respect us, we have to first respect our “own” self! That means defining ourself and coming to terms with our own imperfections and limitations as much as with our talents and outstanding abilities! :) 

(sheesh ... am I in Mom mode, or what???)

~ B

So all day today...for no apparent reason I am thinking about afore-mentioned boy. What would I do if he just showed up here? I wonder where he is, what he's doing...blah blah blah. You know, stupid girl thoughts....thoughts I hate. And yet as hard as I try he won't leave my mind. I can hear his voice and I can see his eyes. Ridiculouse! But then...dun-dun-dun...I get home and who should have e-mailed me?! Your so smart....boy in question. OUT OF NOWHERE! I litterally have not heard from him in YEARS! YEARS! God is pretty crazy.

So continuing with the girlish theme of the day I immediatly call for back-up. From my best I am told to not think too much into this. Very wise...and although it's all I;m rambling on about...I'm actually doing ok. As I said in my last blog,  I'm ok if we don't end up together. I really am. As my best also said, ' I came from someones rib' (metaphoically) and I just have to wait till I find the one I fit. And really if it's not his that's cool. But I am excited because this to me...his e-mail sais he's coming around.

Despite hating almost all girliness....Cinderella is my favorite...and dreams really do come true!

Psalm 27: 13,14

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

I don't think anything is worth the pain that comes from it.
Everything means something.
Every question asks a deeper question.
Every answer gives a deeper personal insight.
Every comment begs to be questioned.
Every truth is unsure.
Every lie is caught.
Each story has a double meaning.

I will not ask a question just to ask a question.
The answer will tell me more than imagined.
I will catch every lie.
It is impossible to lie to me.
My stories mean more than you hear.
Your stories tell me more than you think.

I don't like blood.
Given this...
Given me...
Given what you think you know...
Given past comments...
Given past conversations...
Why?

Peter Pan is my favorite Disney movie.
Cinderella makes me cry.
Why?

Everything means something.
There's more there than you see.
If you knew this, you would understand.

Why do I ask the questions I ask?
Why do I say what I say?
Think about it.
What were we talking about?

Why do I only give so much information?
If you can pull something from nothing, you'll understand.
If not, you will never understand anything I say.

foreverloved found this for me, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!

I've left the link so to give credit where credit is due.  I've edited out the parts that don't apply to me.

This is my life, I think my family thinks I'm Cinderella.

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/classicdisney/theworksong.htm

[Cinderella:]
Cinderella, Cinderella
All I hear is Cinderella, from the moment I get up
till shades of night are falling
There isn't any letup, I hear them calling, calling
Go up and do the attic and go down and do the cellar, you can do them
both together
"Cinderella."

How lovely it would be
if I could live in my fantasy
But in the middle of my dreaming
they're screaming
at me
Cinderella

[Jack:]
Every time she'd find a minute
That's the time that they begin it
Cinderelly, Cinderelly

[Stepsisters:] Cinderella!

[Jack:]
Cinderelly, Cinderelly
Night and day it's Cinderelly
Make the fire, fix the breakfast
Wash the dishes, do the mopping

[Girl mice:]
And the sweeping and the dusting
They always keep her hopping

[Jack:]
She goes around in circles
Till she's very, very dizzy
Still they holler

Rock the baby, fold the laundry, wash the dishes, make the dinner,

pack our lunches, make our breakfast, doesn't matter if we don't eat it,

not to mention buy the groceries, pay the bills, take me driving, buy me cheering shoes

find my clothes that I forgot to put away, find our shoes, sign my homework,

vacuum the floor, cause we don't care, but please make sure we get time to play

ugh, a mother work is never done.   Somedays I really feel unappreciated!!