Chicks @ MindSay

Meeting girls online is probably the most asinine thing I have ever attempted. I don't know if it's good for some people but it's really not for me. That said, boredom and curiosity keep me coming back.

The site that I frequent - which is free, which explains why I signed up in the first place - features the following variety of woman:

-Uber-geek, cool chick who's into video games and other esoteric stuff I go crazy for.  Sometimes she's way into punk or metal, sometimes her musical tastes are more mild or broad like mine.  Usually with dark hair and piercings.
-Sports chick/party girl, usually way too hot for me and with a personality I couldn't stomach if I had to sit down and have a drink with her.
-Really driven, mature go-getter looking for same
-Young moms.

Most often, I contact type 1, get contacted by type 4, and have no interaction with type 2.  Type 3 and I have had a bit of a fling but nothing really material.

Now, when arbitrarily contacting a girl who has no initial desire to meet you - an uphill battle to be sure - what you need is a catchy opener.  Most of the girls specify "Don't just say hey whats up" and the rest just think it.  So I have to actually read the profile (which I was going to anyway) and come up with something witty/intriguing to say based on something they say there.  On the 50/50 chance they reply, I find myself having to lead the conversation.  I ask the question, she gives the straightforward answer and turns it back to me.  Which I guess makes sense because she need not put much effort in because they didn't ask for the conversation (apart from y'know, getting a profile on said website.)

This is, of course, because women are unaccustomed to making the first move.  According to a stat, women make first contact only 20% of the time, and my estimate is that it's all those aforementioned moms.  While I'm good enough when need be in person, I have a really damned tough time being clever and appealing in a first message online.  I get flustered and type stupid shit.  But enough about me.

Anyway, there are a number of crazy-ass observations I have regarding this process, but most of them are too depressing to make decent material.  It's just really frustrating and tough.  At the end of it all, my main problem is that it seems like most of these girls are looking for me...

"I'm looking for someone who's smart and sensitive and not afraid to let me show my goofy/dorky side.  Someone who can make me laugh.  Looks aren't even that important, I think it's more important to have a great personality although obviously there should be some attraction. I'm not here for a one night stand and if you can't spell or have pictures of yourself shirtless please don't even bother."

But anyway.  My frustration with the site boils down to the difficulty a guy like me - who has enough anxiety about meeting girls without having time to double-check spelling - has in actually successfully interacting with these lovely young ladies and not making himself look like a spastic weirdo.

Well maybe some would say I'm a spastic weirdo anyway.  The point is, my self-destructive exposure to this site has really highlighted my general boredom and loneliness, compounded by this frustration.

As always, it comes down to a sighing admission that Scotto wants a girl, but can't seem to get the attention of one, possibly because he's a mentally-degenerating overanalytical fool.

Oh well.  If I was any good with women, I wouldn't have much to write about.

Well, keep on rockin'
-Scott

I have a friend who has a tendency to say things "wrong". These are his words, not mine. The things he says don't always come out the way he intends them to.  As a result, it is not uncommon for him to piss people off.  You would think that someone who knows they have this communication deficit would try to give a little thought to his words or at least not get upset when he's asked to clarify himself. Here is an actual conversation / tiff we got into today:

 

HIM:  I'm sitting at a Panara Bread restaurant working.  They have free wifi.

 

ME:   Cool! See, I told you it was easier to get work done if you get away from the house.

 

HIM:  There's two chicks at the next table. They're annoying.  Chicks are so sappy.

 

ME:   Well on behalf of sappy chicks everywhere, I say kiss our sappy asses! LOL!

 

HIM:  LOL! Seriously, it just goes to prove that all chicks are the same.

 

ME:   How do two women prove that all women are the same?

 

HIM:  Women are just in love with the idea of being in love.

 

ME:    Really?  Well T__ doesn't seem to be in love with the idea of being in love. (T is someone we both know)

 

HIM:  You know what I mean.  I mean the majority of women. 

 

ME:   Why do I know what you mean? You started off calling women "chicks" and then said they were all the same.  I was just going by what you said.

 

HIM:  Do I have to clarify everything I say? You know me!

 

ME:   All I know is that other people who know you tend to get pissed off by a lot of things you say even, though you don't mean to come off insulting. It is unfair for you to expect people to always get the gist of what you're saying. People shouldn't always have to guess or translate what you really mean. You are so difficult sometimes!

 

HIM:  Me???? You are the only one I know who argues with someone about the logistics of what they say!

 

ME:   Maybe. But, most people just get mad at you. I just want to make sure I understand what you mean.

 

HIM:  Whatever...That's it! I'm closing the window!

 

Maybe I was being a hard ass about it, but sometimes I get sick of letting things slide. 

I sometimes run across chicks from NJ on MySpace and their profiles are usually set to 'private' or I gotta be their 'friend' to send them mail. How vain.
I got celeb friends on there that aren't that guarded!

CHICKS ARE SOOOO AWESOME!!!

 

Hmmm I wonder how many people are going to read this. Some people may get a shock, depends how well they know me, or if they do at all. There are probably some perverted creeps out there who will get hot turned on but what should I expect from a blogging netowk. Any way as I was saying chicks are awsome or at least this one was. I so didn't expect the call at 3:30am saying 'I found someone, shes really keen'. I so didn't really expect to be so into it but that was oneof the hottest weekends ever! Much alcohol was drunk, and so many hours were spent in lala land and I still can't believe it happened. I didn't realise she was that much older than me but at least it meant she had a bit to teach. AHHHH. My boy said he had fun too, which is understandandable in the situation. And Im going clubbing with her on Saturday, hopefully! This is going to be so unreal!

I'm taking you all back in time again... a time when chicks were so deseperate that they had to grab the most dangerous phallic object they could find to russle up some man flesh!
The following pulp fiction covers were not rendered by me or made up; they're the real thang, baby! Enjoy.

But that doesn't mean she can't LOVE YOU.

Yeah, and guess who got to the Clergyman's mistress first!

What do you expect when she caught that muthafucker stealing her pearls?

They say heaven's just a kiss away, but this chick is out to prove that hell's just a bullet away...

Okay, so the bitch don't have a gun, but she is only seven steps away from that horny man!

Uh, yeah, bitch, you shoulda waited til you got some before you shot that jerk!

He's trying to light her fire, but she's got other plans...

 

I'm thinking that she got tired of posing nude for college art students!

Okay, I'm not so sure that the women in following cover are really taking their clothes off for the men waiting in the other room. You be the judge!


And one more for the road... While tracking down the covers above, I found this lucious poster:

I didn't know that Rutger Hauer starred in soft porn! I'm now determined to find that vintage piece of sleaze now...