Cheap Apartment @ MindSay 
There is seriously something wrong with my brain. I can't remember anything! I can barely remember twenty minutes ago. I mean, I can remember the events, but I can't remember how I was feeling or what I was thinking. It's like my mind is a fucking blank slate! And it seems like if I try and put something on my "blank slate," it just tilts itself over a bit and lets the memories slide off and onto the ground. That's the best analogy that I can come up with. It's like my brain can no longer hold onto memories of my emotions. It's horrible! It makes me feel so lost in this world. If someone talked to me they'd say I was clinically depressed, but it's mostly that I don't know how I'm feeling. If I try and think of what I'm feeling at the moment, it's like the feeling slips away from me, like the feelings slip away from my brain before my brain can grab onto them. I don't even have a fucking sense of time anymore. I don't know what the hell day it is, my nights and days are all turned around.
Anyway, before I before, let me just tell you what happened in Atlanta yesterday. We went to Underground Atlanta. Three separate times we were bombarded by homeless people! It's fucking annoying! And you know, Crystal, got all emotional about it and felt sorry for them even though it is so obviously clear that they're bullshitting you. Some homeless guy tried to tell me that he was a 17 year, born HIV positive, who had come from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina had drowned his mother. Yeah... how fucking stupid. But Crystal felt bad and made me give him a couple dollars. Whatever. I don't care. It's just money, right? I would've given him money anyway - he didn't have to fucking lie about it. Idiot.
I haven't had sleep in like 2 days. I've done this sort of thing before. I mean, deliberate sleep deprivation. It gives me something to, I guess... "achieve." The last time I did this, I made it about 3 days. I was so damn sick. I literally ate a huge container full of instant coffee grounds and then swallowed it all down with a 12 pack of Mountain Dew. Sleep Deprivation and large amounts of caffeine do not mix. I know what I'm doing is stupid. I know that I'll probably get sick. I mean, fuck... I look like hell right now and it hasn't even been 5 days! But whatever... it'll give me something to do. I can document my fucking progress or something. Sleep deprivation makes me draw some fucked up shit. I have a huge notebook full of weird, crude drawings I did for those 3 days without sleep. My only complaints about doing this is that it's fucking boring and my eyes get sore. I can fight off sleep, but I can't fight off fucking boredom! Being bored drives me crazy. I think one reason that I'm doing this is because if I fall asleep, I won't wake up until almost 24 hours later. Since I stopped taking my medication for my ADD, I can't seem to wake up. My parents can't even wake me up! Hell, I don't remember them ever trying to wake me up! I just hate sleeping all day and then waking up at like 8pm and being bored the whole night and early morning. Obviously, I can't do this forever. The world record for staying awake is 11 days. Scientists suspect that more than 11 days without sleep would kill someone. I doubt I'll make it past 5 days. Am I rambling? I feel like I am. God, I look like shit.
Let me tell you one more thing! It's fucking funny!! I was super tired last night and was up at 3 am talking with my friend on Yahoo. I was thinking about death and this idea popped into my head. I was thinking about toxic shock syndrome which is a fatal "disease" you can get if you don't change your tampon too often. I mean, no one sits around with their daily planner and has a set scheduled time when they're going to change their stupid tampon. It's just not that big of a deal. You just change it when you feel like you need to. But you know, from such a small, insignificant event, you could fucking DIE! It blows my mind! Ok, so I said to my friend, "Dude! You can literally DIE from neglecting to pull a piece of cotton from your snatch!" Apparently, he didn't see what I was seeing. Obviously, what blew my mind away, didn't do anything for his. So, he came back with the most bad ass thing ever! It literally made my night! He said to me, "Wow... pretty exciting life, you've got there... thinking about tampons." LMAO! WTF? That totally makes me smile and laugh when I read that!
Anyway... I'll wrap this shit up. Bye!
Well, this time I'm for real. I found my new apartment!
It's small but cozy and nice. It's cheap. It's not in the area I was looking for but it is in a nice area.
I sign the lease on friday and I will begin moving in saturday and next week.
It's an upper flat of an old house. It's got a decent size bathroom and bedroom (nice) and the kitchen and dining room are in the same small room (I can deal with that).The rent is very good, $390 a month utilaties included.
The landlady is a nice old cat lady who lives in the first floor of the house. She is semi-retired and works a couple days a week.
However, it is way to small for all the furniture I enherited (is that how you spell that?). I asked the owner if she would have any place I could store it, she said she only had the garages (she also owns the house next door) and they are already full of her stuff. So I have to find a place to store that stuff. I probably will only have to find a place for the dining set. Maybe my parents will let me store it in their attic or basement, or at my father's shoe store. Either way I can work it out.
But here is the best part of it. I was at the shoe store when the lady called to tell me that it had just become available. My father called when I was on my way to make sure it wasn't a bad place that is about four blocks from the apartment (the place where the state put the sexual predators when they get out of prison). I, of course, said no. He aksed me where it is.
As it turns out that this apartment is the apartment that my grandfather on my mom's side first lived in when he moved to Lansing right after World War II. That's kind of cool, huh?
Any way, now I have to finish packing and move. I also need to look for a possible second job so I won't be totally broke (even though it's pretty much a sure bet that I will). This should be fun 
Thanks for Reading,
Mark M.
I think I just found my new apartment. It's a some-what nice one bedroom about three or four blocks from where I live right now. The rent is $375 plus my share of the bills (a third of the electric and about 45% of the water and gas roughly fifty or sixty dollars a month).
The guy who showed it to me was sort of a dick but I can deal with that. I had to ask him to clean up the sink in kitcen and the tub in the bathroom before I signed a lease. But if all goes well I'll be moving in next week.
Thanks for Reading,
Mark M.
My first apartment I ever lived in wat a studio (or efficency) apartment. It was small, very small. It had a living room that, with the help af a fold-out sofa bed, doubled as a bedroom, a small bathroom and a small kitchen. I was eighteen and had just moved out of my folks place, it was affordable and my own place so I liked it. But, I ended up living there for two years, and the longer I lived there the more I hated it. I now realize that it was overpriced. At the time it worked because I was very young had just moved out on my own and the place was furnished. Now, it has become another example of a young guy living oh his own in a shit hole.
I am looking for another apartment right now. For the past year I have been living in an fixing up my late grandmother's house, now the house has sold.
I just went and looked at an apartmet advertised in the local newspaper as a one bedroom utilaties included with free satalite tv for $425. What false advertising, it was a studio apartment smaller and crappier then my old one. I was so excited to find what I thought would have been the perfect apartment, then was sorely let down. Bummer.
I spoke to a lady this afternoon about an apartment. It is a two bedroom but she only wants one person living in it. $460 a month utilaties included. But I won't be able to move in 'til after the home closes. I'm still going to take a look at it this week.
As soon as I find a place and move in it will be a big reflief.
Thanks for Reading,
Mark M.
So, the apartment hunting isn't going so hot. I have called and left messages at probably a dozen different places. I've heard back from three. The first one was a dive of a place, in a bad neighborhood, and was owned by a crazy old man. The second place the rent was too high for my budget. The third they didn't have a one bedroom apartment available.
I like living by myslef, so I am just going to find a cheap one bedroom apartment near where I am living now. The cheapest place I've come across is $300 a month plus utl. I called the guy a while back but didn't take a look at it because I didn't know if the house would be or not, I called again and left a message last week, he hasn't gotten back to me.
Worse case scenerio, I'll have to crash at my folk's for a couple day while I look for a place. I really don't want to do that because that house is a total fucking mad house. That's why I got the heck out of there four years ago.
I should be able to find a place though. Anyways, wish me luck.
Thanks for Reading,
Mark M.