Changing @ MindSay

i've realized that i forget the silly little...(i hate to make them seem less silly than holidays like new year's and fourth of july and such, but...) minor holidays like saint patrick's day, not being in high school.
i wouldn't have remembered that today was saint patrick's were it not for my sojourn to the highschool, where i was swarmed by teh multitudes slathered in green.
out of coincidence, i wore green. but completely unintentionally. it's just weird that something that used to be such a thrill for me (celebrating ridiculous holidays and using them as an excuse to be a little wild and crazy) has become such a non-part of my life.
just interesting.

each emotion  takes over another  forming an end to it

fighting amost itself taking over control

each  crystaline tear dropping upon the paleness of the skin

leaving behind  burn marks

soulful eyes lost of color watching from within the walls  of the mind

sitting here in an state of trancelucent haze

wondering what is going on

turning round  only to  find that life  has  gouged her

as she tries to get back 

 she claws her way outward slicing  one...

 as she does so..scaring her .

 she  turns and runs back to darkness

listenning as the screams are her friend as the pain is  her tool

she then finds that she is nothing more then complex creature

<p>
       WWII-era Germans considered themselves
 technologically superior, culturally superior, and fiercely patriotic.

      Using the power of media control, propaganda, changing  policy
 and secret laws. They began living in a state so powerful, that for
 the good of the people, they allowed the tortures and atrocities
 in the camps and the outright aggression against other countries.


   Hmm? does this sound like any nation on the earth today?


  I often wondered why the German people didn't see what was happening.

  I wonder why many here cannot see what is happening here now.

           Just take a good look at this HOMELAND crap !!!
                         For crying out loud  people!!!
          It sounds like something right out of the NAZI playbook.

 People do you really think HS was set up for our protection ???

Are you aware they hired ex-top-KGB and East German Stasi agents ???

 If it is true, so what ?

    The job of the KGB and Stasi was to set up police states
 to keep people in, not keep terrorists out. !!!

     By the way there is no way terrorists can
directly attack your civil liberties !!!

    The only people who can change civil
liberties and freedoms are the people we elect.!!!

   The ONLY people who can attack the freedoms we
 have are the President and the Congress, and they've
done a good job of attacking them so far.

 Stop allowing your government to sacrifice
 our liberty under the guise of security.


  We the people, Americans have failed to do anything
about all the crap that has gone down already.
 (stolen elections, 9-11, the war in Iraq, the PATRIOT Act, etc)

   Don't forget about raising fuel prices to limit travel.
  Along with the we need more research on alternative fuels
thats going to take twenty years bullshit.
( I have posted earlier, they have had the solution to
 todays energy problem for over thirty years)
Yes the first Arab oil embargo was back in 1973 ,
 you really dont think that the powers that be were
 not working on this problem do you  ???

 The reason our Govt does what it pleases now ???

                        Nobody cares!!!

  The people are afraid of loosing what they have and
don't realize that if they don't get off their ass and
confront these bastards they will loose it anyway.

                If that happens, we deserve it.
                 Wake up to what is going on.
           See that as it is before it's too late.

           I don’t think that we have to walk
         blindly down the path we are set on.

   Unfortunately, I don't think there will be a revolution.
 Everyone will drink the kool aid and do as they are told.

    Consider this your future....
     The government is my shepherd, I shall always want.
  it leads me to the endless paperwork of bureaucracy
  that is meant weaken my resolve. Until...

      I acknowledge the political masters as lords of my existence
.       They rule, I live only to serve. They command, I obey.
       I shall Worship the bosses. I live only to do as ordered
         because of the recognition of their supreme authority.
              All wealth and pleasure shall be for the bosses,
                          I shall ask nothing for myself,
                     I shall give unquestioning servitude.

 
      It was foretold, that there will be a time, that it "may" become necessary to change the regime
 that exists as a government. when the inalienable rights of the people become perverted and distorted
beyond the means to "practice" what the Constitution and the Bill of Rights gives and allows us to do
as an American citizen.

   We are in the last portion of a real life game, the loss of which means the loss of the remaining few
freedoms we have, the loss of what material items we have worked so hard for and for a great number
of Americans it will mean the end of your lives. This is no joke and is not bull shit, it is for real.

                          The second amendment was passed to prevent this very thing.
                 If this government is not forced to see the outrage and see it very soon you
                    will see the military on the streets and in your homes as they disarm you.

                                    Here drink this kool aid, do as you are told.

                                                 Then what are you going to do?

</p>

 

So, I actually meant that post a few days ago to be about how things are changing. But it went in a totally different direction.

Honestly, I don't know that I can yet clarify how things are changing. Maybe it's only reinforcing the changes that broke ground a few months ago, making them more real and less of a novelty. I'm not as interested in being the solo act or the center of attention (this is startling)...and where before I'd always been involved with everybody, now it's the one-on-one I look forward to.

Possibly putting one friendship back together. I hadn't realized that the way we were drifting apart was hurting him. His girlfriend had come into his life, and I'd kind of been pushed out. Which is okay, I suppose, I've been in that situation before. I missed him, but we'd had an argument about his lifestyle, and I thought he didn't want me around anymore if I wasn't going to be behind him 100%. Actually, in general, I thought he didn't want me around anymore.

Hmmm. I'm noticing this being a recurring theme. Concluding that since guys don't say something, they don't think it. However, to me, it makes more sense than assuming that they think something when they haven't clearly indicated it. There has to be a middle ground that makes sense here, but I've yet to find it.

For the first time, Slasher's come over and actually spent time with the family. Well, in the same building as the family, which is an improvement. He's less distasteful now than before - still fully capable of slashing someone's confidence, but I'm learning to not take anything he says seriously. Slowly. We watched The Swan Princess, had a generally decent time. Long-standing favorite of the Ariane. This is how I shall do this - take it one bit at a time, gradually build the amount of time we'd spend in the same room. This was far more than I'd meant to start off with, but it was Swan Princess. I love Swan Princess.

Sometime this week, I'll have my interview for summer plans. I may have already made serious points against me by irritating her, but I hope not. Very much hoping that I get this, very much hoping that whoever they do get will be the best counselors those girls could have. Pray on this one.

I've come to the conclusion that I've been doing way too much talking out there, and not nearly enough listening. Even when I'm not talking, my mind's been on the next mission, the next puzzle, juggling what I need to get done. I'm not really making friends at SCC, but I can bet that's because I'm never really that open with anyone, or even to anyone. Just busy, planning, thinking, mind's already ahead of where I am.

There's a bit of weirdness with friends. I'm no longer finding interest in one particular group that's a fairly negative influence on me (as opposed to before, when I just knew I shouldn't be with them), but...I don't really have close friends in the music department anymore, because most of them seem kind of immature and unmotivated. And I had something unique in both of those circles. It kind of feels as though I don't have that anymore. It's just kind of weird.

My Simon and Garfunkel cd turned up - I've been looking for it for months. Eating a peanut-butter and cinnamon-sugar open-face sandwich, talking with Rogue and sharing a relaxed afternoon together. Good music, good munchies, good friend, life is good.