Change My Life @ MindSay

She couldn't keep the act up for more than three weeks. It's kind of funny. I had to assume it was an act, because people so rarely change, but I wanted her to be different so very badly. Not for me, you understand, but for him, and for that little girl.

 

Now we're right back at square one; playing email games, her not returning phone calls and blowing off arranged visits. Making petty jabs and even more transparent excuses. Trying to change everyone's life at a whim, because it's how she feels that day. Unfortunately, there is only one life she manages to shake regularly, and that's her daughter's. And I can only assume she's just too fucking blind to see it, or too weak to change it.

I thank you for allowing me to accept with an open heart the things I can not change.

 

I could easily sit and complain that life has not been easy or even fair in comparison to others. My heart reminds me that my life is not over and you still have gifts prepared specifically for me. With a smile on my face and peace in my heart I am simply grateful that when tested by an old love I was able to smile and be happy for that person. I must honestly say thank you. Thank you for helping me to stand on faith and  to continue to be a friend no matter how difficult it may be.

 

Please be patien with me as God is not through wih me yet.

Thank you Lord.

Bonus Tip of the Week: "Don't get into arguments that go nowhere and hurt your relationship. Just because someone else attacks you verbally, you don't have to respond in kind...Some things are better ignored or handled with a soft answer."

_{(Tip is from page 97 of *Keep Your Marriage: What to do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" * For more information, visit http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com)}

Keep Your Marriage.com

The Keep Your Marriage Philosophy

The steps to creating an exceptional marriage include:

1. Accepting responsibility for your own actions
2. Minimizing blame and resentment
3. Focusing on how you need to change
4. Directing energy into becoming the kind of marriage partner you'd like to have

It is possible to create the marriage of your dreams if you're willing to work hard, love deeply, dream big, and persevere.

Quotes for Reflection

• “Some people wait all their lives for the outside to change their inside. But it never seems to happen because change comes from within us first, then the outside becomes different.”
  —Elliott Goldwag, Ph.D.
• “Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night of you life, they are eating at you.” —Norman Vincent Peale
• “Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” —Joan Lunden
• “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” —Maya Angelou
• “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” —Dr. Robert Anthony
• “Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat.”—Caroline Schoeder

so today, or i guess yesterday, my friends came over (with burritos and almond dacquoise) kind of randomly at about 8ish. they left at around 2am.

it's great hanging out with them, though, so i'm ok with it. hooray for family!

i'm still going crazy over all the final project i'm doing. i was working a bit on my typography while they were here, but... i finished one thing. yeah... whatev.


i'm really tired. i woke up in the morning and my neck hurt. now i'm all itchy and i'm sneezing and it's not fun. so right now i'm just... wasting time writing this blog instead of working on the shitload of work i have to do.

I can not wait until school is over and the finals madness is over.

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I think i am going crazy. I think i am unhappy with my life. Unsatisfied. Well, perhaps that's too much--i'm not incredibly happy, but i'm not unhappy. i'm in that limbo where everything is just sort of there and i'm living life just to eat, sleep, work.

i want more.
something's up with me where I just want to let go of everything. i want a change. i'm not sure in what, but i want and maybe need change, and i'm not sure exactly where i'll find it.

funny, because the Indiana Jones Adventure song came on in my itunes on shuffle. I'm not sure where it came from, or why i have it, but maybe it's a sign. i need to go on an adventure. a quest!
i should discover more about myself. i don't know me very well. although i do know this about myself: i need to get some sleep. so good night.