Change My Life @ MindSay

I just read a friend's blog and something they said got me thinking about my own life.

They said "Why change your life if it's working?" to paraphrase.
Right now my life works for me but I guess you could say I'm bored with it.

When I state that I am a "House wife" who's nearly finished raising children, I guess you'd be able to understand that statement better. I'm beginning to feel the symptoms of the "empty nest syndrome" as my oldest struck out on his own last year. Now that parenting concerns are becoming minimal  for me, I'm wanting to move on.

I feel my life leading me in a new direction. I know it sounds completely crazy but I want to start a new career.

I just feel some limitations already:

FUNDING: Getting a student loan at my age seems ridiculous. Most who apply have their whole lives in front of them and attaining positions in their field to pay them off. I also happened to hear a financial advisor explain that paying off student loans now or asap is in your best interest as the interest on them is sky rocketing. There is no way I can attain further education without one but this makes me very leary about adding this financial situation to my life.

AGE: I am 44 yrs old. NOT 24 years old. Most women who have careers my age are already thinking about and planning for retirement. Not just starting out. I have a lot of will and determination on my side but I'm afraid I may be intimidated by younger collegues.

I'm planning on making "AGE IS JUST A NUMBER" my montra. LOL

LIFESTYLE: I will have to change my entire lifestyle. Right now I am a "FREE SPIRIT" I pretty much do what I want, when I want. I also have my first grandbaby coming and I'm wondering if it would be fair to my son and this child to put contraints on my time now and not have the time to spend with this child. I mean I gave up College in the first place when I became a mother. Should my future grandchildren not have the same consideration?

BUT then I think this: Right now I am unfullfilled. Would not having a grandmother who is happy be better for a child? Perhaps my children would have been better off if I continued my education and simply became a working mother? These days "house wives" are a minority. I guess I'll never know. BUT if not NOW, WHEN? When will it be MY TIME???

 

She couldn't keep the act up for more than three weeks. It's kind of funny. I had to assume it was an act, because people so rarely change, but I wanted her to be different so very badly. Not for me, you understand, but for him, and for that little girl.

 

Now we're right back at square one; playing email games, her not returning phone calls and blowing off arranged visits. Making petty jabs and even more transparent excuses. Trying to change everyone's life at a whim, because it's how she feels that day. Unfortunately, there is only one life she manages to shake regularly, and that's her daughter's. And I can only assume she's just too fucking blind to see it, or too weak to change it.

I thank you for allowing me to accept with an open heart the things I can not change.

 

I could easily sit and complain that life has not been easy or even fair in comparison to others. My heart reminds me that my life is not over and you still have gifts prepared specifically for me. With a smile on my face and peace in my heart I am simply grateful that when tested by an old love I was able to smile and be happy for that person. I must honestly say thank you. Thank you for helping me to stand on faith and  to continue to be a friend no matter how difficult it may be.

 

Please be patien with me as God is not through wih me yet.

Thank you Lord.

Bonus Tip of the Week: "Don't get into arguments that go nowhere and hurt your relationship. Just because someone else attacks you verbally, you don't have to respond in kind...Some things are better ignored or handled with a soft answer."

_{(Tip is from page 97 of *Keep Your Marriage: What to do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" * For more information, visit http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com)}

Keep Your Marriage.com

The Keep Your Marriage Philosophy

The steps to creating an exceptional marriage include:

1. Accepting responsibility for your own actions
2. Minimizing blame and resentment
3. Focusing on how you need to change
4. Directing energy into becoming the kind of marriage partner you'd like to have

It is possible to create the marriage of your dreams if you're willing to work hard, love deeply, dream big, and persevere.

Quotes for Reflection

• “Some people wait all their lives for the outside to change their inside. But it never seems to happen because change comes from within us first, then the outside becomes different.”
  —Elliott Goldwag, Ph.D.
• “Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night of you life, they are eating at you.” —Norman Vincent Peale
• “Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” —Joan Lunden
• “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” —Maya Angelou
• “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” —Dr. Robert Anthony
• “Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat.”—Caroline Schoeder