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LESSONS FROM A GAME OF SOLITAIRE
Surprised by this topic? You may want to ask ‘what’s Ellen doing with a deck of cards? Does she gamble?’ :-) Oh no, not by a slim chance nor for any reason… I do not! Here’s what, hubby several months ago brought home a deck of cards from his Singapore trip. Neither does he gamble but it seemed to him then that it was a good ‘pasalubong’ (in English, a gift) to a close friend who loved to play cards. Well, to make a long story short, he forgot all about it. :-)
I have it now picked up from a forgotten old box stashed away in a corner… and having it in my hands brought back memories of my Dad playing endless games of solitaire after Mom passed away. He too went away several years later. To my young mind then it seemed to me to be a lonely man’s game and toy. It was Dad’s.
Having nothing much to do with the rest of my day, I took the cards and went to the table. Then I began to set out the cards as I have always seen Dad do it in seven vertical rows neatly arranged in careful ascending gradation. It all had their faces turned down hidden from view except for the last ones at the end of the rows which were open and from this you begin to play the game.
I remember Dad saying that ‘you win the game if you can turn up all the face-down cards before you run out of cue cards…… and you lose when you come to a point when you’re stumped with no cue card in sight to work with.’ I lost!
But I remembering him saying too that I can play the game for three times --- the way a person is allowed his three chances. Thus you hope that maybe your luck will change on the second or third try and win the game. I lost three times --- lost my three chances.
Now I began to think. Three chances lost --- three opportunities to win gone. So that ends the game? Can’t I play another one? So I gazed down at the cards which seemed to be mocking me in my defeat. Oh no, you don’t!! I may have lost, maybe down but certainly not out! So I gathered up the cards again and did a very thorough shuffle. Let’s see you beat this, I thought. I set down a new game again and worked my way through the steps as before. Halfway through the game I saw how it was forming dismally. ‘This thing seems to have a mind of its own’ I thought ‘Oh no! I’m not finished with you yet!’ and continued with the game. At a certain point I got stumped seeing no clue card in sight. ‘Gosh, there must be something I’ve missed!’ I thought. So I reviewed each row carefully searching for that crucial card and Lo! There it was – obviously overlooked. With new hope I moved it accordingly and resumed with the game although precariously nearing its end. Then a cliffhanger --- I still couldn’t open the last remaining face-down cards. Apparently the decisive cards were in that last row. ‘I’m missing something again’ I thought. Hastily I retraced my steps and reviewed the defiant rows but with tight scrutiny this time. But my heart raced aware of time ticking away the last few minutes of the game.
Then BINGO! --- There it was right under my nose hidden by a top card which covered it almost fully from my sight. Hurray! I’m alive. Hurriedly I made the adjustments and thereafter sailed smoothly along turning up all the remaining face-down cards! I WON!
Yeah, Dad, I lost my three chances but I took another one -- do I see you smiling?! :-)
If that was life and I lost all my three chances to make it good, is that all there is to it? Must I simply flail my arms in the air in utter resignation and surrender to --- defeat? Oh no, you don’t do that in the game of life. Because, in life, you can take as many chances as you want. If you’ve used up what’s given you or can’t find any left ---- create them. Give yourself the chance you deserve. Don’t be bogged down by limitations, yours or somebody else’s. To have a chance, take a chance --- or create one. What or who’s stopping you from doing it anyway?? :-)
So... anybody want to join me for a game of solitaire? .... and a cool glass of lemonade, of course. And maybe we'll squeeze in a chocolate mousse cake.... :-))
Surprised by this topic? You may want to ask ‘what’s Ellen doing with a deck of cards? Does she gamble?’ :-) Oh no, not by a slim chance nor for any reason… I do not! Here’s what, hubby several months ago brought home a deck of cards from his Singapore trip. Neither does he gamble but it seemed to him then that it was a good ‘pasalubong’ (in English, a gift) to a close friend who loved to play cards. Well, to make a long story short, he forgot all about it. :-) I have it now picked up from a forgotten old box stashed away in a corner… and having it in my hands brought back memories of my Dad playing endless games of solitaire after Mom passed away. He too went away several years later. To my young mind then it seemed to me to be a lonely man’s game and toy. It was Dad’s.
Having nothing much to do with the rest of my day, I took the cards and went to the table. Then I began to set out the cards as I have always seen Dad do it in seven vertical rows neatly arranged in careful ascending gradation. It all had their faces turned down hidden from view except for the last ones at the end of the rows which were open and from this you begin to play the game.
I remember Dad saying that ‘you win the game if you can turn up all the face-down cards before you run out of cue cards…… and you lose when you come to a point when you’re stumped with no cue card in sight to work with.’ I lost!
But I remembering him saying too that I can play the game for three times --- the way a person is allowed his three chances. Thus you hope that maybe your luck will change on the second or third try and win the game. I lost three times --- lost my three chances.
Now I began to think. Three chances lost --- three opportunities to win gone. So that ends the game? Can’t I play another one? So I gazed down at the cards which seemed to be mocking me in my defeat. Oh no, you don’t!! I may have lost, maybe down but certainly not out! So I gathered up the cards again and did a very thorough shuffle. Let’s see you beat this, I thought. I set down a new game again and worked my way through the steps as before. Halfway through the game I saw how it was forming dismally. ‘This thing seems to have a mind of its own’ I thought ‘Oh no! I’m not finished with you yet!’ and continued with the game. At a certain point I got stumped seeing no clue card in sight. ‘Gosh, there must be something I’ve missed!’ I thought. So I reviewed each row carefully searching for that crucial card and Lo! There it was – obviously overlooked. With new hope I moved it accordingly and resumed with the game although precariously nearing its end. Then a cliffhanger --- I still couldn’t open the last remaining face-down cards. Apparently the decisive cards were in that last row. ‘I’m missing something again’ I thought. Hastily I retraced my steps and reviewed the defiant rows but with tight scrutiny this time. But my heart raced aware of time ticking away the last few minutes of the game.
Then BINGO! --- There it was right under my nose hidden by a top card which covered it almost fully from my sight. Hurray! I’m alive. Hurriedly I made the adjustments and thereafter sailed smoothly along turning up all the remaining face-down cards! I WON!
Yeah, Dad, I lost my three chances but I took another one -- do I see you smiling?! :-)
If that was life and I lost all my three chances to make it good, is that all there is to it? Must I simply flail my arms in the air in utter resignation and surrender to --- defeat? Oh no, you don’t do that in the game of life. Because, in life, you can take as many chances as you want. If you’ve used up what’s given you or can’t find any left ---- create them. Give yourself the chance you deserve. Don’t be bogged down by limitations, yours or somebody else’s. To have a chance, take a chance --- or create one. What or who’s stopping you from doing it anyway?? :-)
So... anybody want to join me for a game of solitaire? .... and a cool glass of lemonade, of course. And maybe we'll squeeze in a chocolate mousse cake.... :-))
GUIA DOS CONCURSOS PÚBLICOS
GUIA DOS CONCURSOS PÚBLICOS
Tudo sobre Concursos.
1.Onde estudar.
2. Estudar online.
3. Estudar por fitas de áudio enquanto trabalha, no carro, no ônibus ou no metrô.
4. principais Concursos Públicos com inscrições abertas e por região.
5. Gabaritos e resultados dos últimos Concursos Públicos.
6. cursos ao vivo por bairro e por cidade.
7. Cursos em DVD-rom e cd-rom para você estudar em casa ou no escritório. Aproveite as horas esparsas que você tem para estudar.
8. Concursos Públicos em outros países: como são.
9. Concursos Públicos municipais classificados por Município e por Estado.
10. Como estudar. Técnicas de aprendizagem eficiente.
11. Faça um teste e saiba suas reais possibilidades de ser aprovado em determinado Concurso Público. Não perca tempo estudando para algo que você não tenha a mínima chance e deixando de se preparar para outro Concurso Público no qual você teria chances.
12. TESTE: será que o Concurso Público seria a melhor alternativa para você. Venha fazer um teste e saber se você não se daria melhor como empresário, como membro de uma Cooperativa de Trabalho, como sócio de uma Cooperativa de Produção e outras alternativas mais viáveis e mais certas. A preparação pode ser grátis. Você só vai pagar depois que estiver a ganhar dinheiro com os recursos que obtiver. Venha fazer um teste para saber se você tem possibilidades. .
FIM
torment of a genius
im fed up. ive been fed up for quite a while now. i blame alot of my problems on my parents, and as i blog this u will see my justifications for placing alot of blame on their lap, i accept alot of my own actions have been my own choices. im 24 years old, and the shit ive had to deal with and continuly have to deal with is a joke. i will start as most at the beggining and i will try and show u what i see. apparently i was a handful when i was younger, hyperactive and a bit destructive. i remember clearly my parents telling me my first day at school was bad. i went round kicking everyone and got in a few fights. then the teacher had a word with me and i calmed down. when i was around 4 my parents got divorced. my brother was concieved as my parents would reveal as my parents were getting divorced which is something i would personally never have told my child if i had one. through alot of my childhood i had both my parents trying to sway my opinion. my mum would tell us stories about our dad spending the last of ttheir money on booze, and trying to poison us against our dad. my mum is now 55 and is a bitter twisted depressed resentful and hateful. i had trouble at school with bullying and getting in fights, and i suffered the same at home with my mum calling me names, and i remember in my earlier child hood being hit, one instance being thrown at her cooker, my brother remembers being thrown down the stairs and he had a fracture in his arm. as school went on i was recongised by some teachers as being "gifted" and they knew i was intelligent beyond my years one of the first teachers to recongise this was in my first school encourgaged me to go to this club which i went a few times then my mum couldnt be bothered to take there anymore. i then went to high school and still had problems with bullys and in my final years of school my mum had to sell the house. she really did a good job on brain washing and manipulating me and my brother against my dad, and we didnt speak to him for about a year, she did this by means of one way conversations on the phone letting us hear what she said and not what was responded. my parents had a lot of custody battles over me and my brother, because my mum made it hard for our dad to see us. it was at this time i was doing my gcse's, we ended up in bed and breakfast accommodation with my mum and this made it hard for me to study. also i should have mentioned earlier is that one of my mums first boyfriends john, caused me and my bro a lot of suffering, he hit us, and on one occasion said to me if i ever told my mum this hed kill me, she had a slew of abusive boyfriends, one keith an alcoholic one night ripped the new cupboards of the wall he put up breaking a lot of my mums glasses and plates and he even grabbed me at one point and i clearly remember giving him a hard elbow in the guts and winding him. i digest tho. i dont know what happened between my parents to cause them to divorce entirely, and i never will knwo but what i do know is that my dad is an incredibly selfish person. imho. he has tried a little bit to be there for me and my brother but in hindsight (what a marvellous tool hindsight is!) hes been as minuplutive as my mum. near the end of school and close to my exams i started smoking cannabis. my mum and dad smoked hash but this is neither here nor there. i dont know how but first living in a single room in harrow and i mean a single room with my bro and mum i managed to do some of my gcses and got into college. that was a traumatising period. a lot of my early memories of my mum has been her in pubs, drinking, being aggressive, abusive and drunk. in this one room i was sickeneded. my mum had this guy who was fat huge smelly had some grotesque growth on his stomach and my mum had him a friend of hers and her friends date in the one room,. with me and my bro trying to sleep! so we eventually moved out of there inot a flat in queensbury where my mum bought and started selling a lot of cannabis. in the fridge there where big bags of grass, and in her room bars of hash. between school and college i helped my self to these and enjoyed smoking them. there was a lot of trouble int hat flat, from getting in fights with some of my brothers ruffian mates, to police coming round saying "i remember this place, there was a guy overdosed on the floor here last week!" one incident which was the last straw was my mum made a roast dinner, and i was watching simpsons, she brought dinner in and said put eastenders on, seeing as eastenders was not on i continued watching. she went to the kitchen and came back with some horseraddish and a spoon. she ranted at me to change the channel while she was standing next to the tv, and ended up throwing a spoonful of horseraddish at me. i barged past her, and she threw herself to the floor the opposite way i was going (if i barge someone generally they go the way im going not behind unless my pyshics is wrong) she screamed for me to get out her house, which i started doing, i headed to my room and started packing. ten minutes or so later the police turned up. my mum had called them to kick me out! when they came to my room i was shocked at first, and when they told me my mum had called them to kick me out, i laughed at them and said "what does it look like im doing?" they were perplexed i beleive, and theyve gone back to her, adn then they came back, and said "weve had a word with your mum, she wants you to stay" and turned to the cop and i laughed, and said to the cop something like u couldnt pay me to stay, and i asked them to stay while i packed up, they asked me where i was going, and i told them probably the streets. they didnt seem all that bothered. after packing i dragged my shit down the road and knocked at my dads who conviently lived close by. he let me move in and stay with him. i lived with him for about 2 years, and for the first year and a half or so i didnt have any conta`ct with my mum. i was going to college from my dads but that was a continual struggle, looking back i dont have a clue how i did it. i dont remember if my dad helped me with travel or not, i seem to remember asking and him laughing about how much i wanted so i didnt bother asking again. i had to walk sometimes 2 \hours to college, and i had holes in my trainers,a nd couldnt afford new ones, i was again bullied in college by my peers, which made it difficult, especially coming from home problems to college, ive always been very introverted so i generally keep my problems to myserlf. having enough of having to walk to college i looked for work in my 2nd year, and found some and started a job. i had quite a few jobs after i left college, and i ended up in market research. i wasnt too much of a cananbis smoker, but when i started in market reasearhc i met this guy and he selled weed so i started buying some. i had a crew of friends and we ran around together drinking and smoking and stuff, and it all escalted in futility with me having a mental break down. i ended up in a bad state from smoking too much potent cannabis. i had delusional thoughts, i was basically flat out crazy. i spent a year from becoming ill to getting out. while i was in hospital i was actually accepted into a university which again when i got the letter sickened me i hindsight. 6 months in a mental institute was mad, being in rehab was weird, i then ended up temporarily living with my mum and then getting my own council flat on medical reasons, in borehamwood. and then. well. things havent very much changed, i feel depressed drained and stressed, and wish a lot of the time i was dead. i blame alot of my issues on my mum being irrational aggressive alcoholic, who weve recently leanred and kinda suspected is on crack cocaine and has been probably for years on and of, im generally fed up with life, because i know that if a few things had gone differently i wouldnt be in the rut i am now. everyone tells me how intelligent i am and that pisses me of everytime i hear it. ive smoked a lot of cannabis over the years and its ruined my life. i should be earnign silly money doing something in computers, or it or media, or film. but due to damn genetics i was cursed with mental illness, alcoholic parents, and abusive up bringing. i want to say its not my fault im a mess but in a way it is. i dont ever want children. i dont want to bring them into this shitty world. i am probably bi polar but doctors are rubbish at disagonsing illnesses, and i was probably bi-polar from an early age and it wasnt recongised. a study recently showed a lot fo people who are depenedant on drugs didnt have their parents around in early life, my brother is even more fucked up then me, but he hasnt had to suffer a institualisonation but he has recently had a mental breakdown which lasted a few days, and hes strugglisng to get the help he needs. my mum keeps winding me up as well. she makes little jibes and comments on a constant basis and if she keeps it up im going to end up doing something i regret like kicking the crap out of her. im fed up of both my parents, my dad moved to scotland a few years ago, and my mum has recently started talking to him because of my brother and yesterday she tried stirring shit bewtween me and my dad cos i dont feel like talking to him at the moment and she dropped me in it telling him i was here, at hers, when i didnt want to speak him, my favourite slur against her at the moment is "you married him" or "u shagged him!". today maybe the day i smash my mums flat up with her with it, depends how far she pushes me. yesterday i cam e close. and i fi do it will not be my fault because she winds me up on purpose i try and tell her not to say some things and then she says them anyways and wonders why i get so wound up. i hate my genetics. i NEVER want kids, cos i wouldnt want to infect them with my genes, or to put them through this rubbish existence. if my i smash my mums flat and her up, ill probably goto prison i guess, which is likely cos if she drives me mad one mromore time, ill be mashing everything. her hd tv, her laptop, washing machine, fish tank, coffee table, ug. i hope i dont, and i hope she dont wind me up.
why?
Im really glad that I was never given (or will ever have) the chance to get back with cassidy. Why is this you may ask? Because my best friend (who I blogged about getting back together with her bf last week) is already having problems. apparently hes bored but still 'loves' her. can you say OUCH! god what an asshole. my poor girl is hurting.
dammit i told her this was going to happen. fuck why does no one listen?!
Miller
Life as a Series of Microcosms. Who do Trust when you have toTrust somebody?
Howdy howdy all!
I have no idea who I will vote for. NONE. Good grief. I just don't know. I wonder how people can be so loyal to one party or so SURE about the candidate that they are backing. Trust. That's what I mean. How can you be sure you can give your big thumbs up to someone who will essentially be beholden to the more monetarily enhanced of their constituency once they take office.
I mean I am no fan of G.W. and I didn't vote for him either but I notice that many who did are die hard in their allegiance to and his presidency.
Now I don't understand it but then I am not one of those people who believes that just because I have faith in a person at one time that I wont find them fallible at other times.
That is to say that just because I am a supporter of someone, it doesn't mean that I don't take issue with some of the things that they do. Our illusions are shattered now and again. We all have those moments when we see a side that takes us off guard. When it happens we have to evaluate the situation and ourselves which can be difficult and may be why people tend to continue to back lame duck--just saying. When it happens to me I take it in stride, even though I am a lot more sensitive then I like to believe and a heck of a lot more sensitive than people imagine. Maybe these die hard supporters are as sensitive I am. It's possible.
Now I don't run around all pouty and down in the mouth about it, and I don't run around being all obvious and put out (I mean I get upset like everyone else and it manifests for a minute but then I go right back to my audience normal--grudges aren't really my thing).
I process that information and yes, in some cases my perception of the individual may change--this cant be helped and honestly it isn't about the other person, it is about me. Like, How will I shape the relationship with the individual now that I have this new perception? Will I continue with the same level of faith or anti-faith (depending) when dealing with them? How much will I share or withhold from them in the future? If I were to be honest I would and will tell you that I withhold when I feel threatened and once I decide to withhold I tend to make it a natural part of interaction with the intended person. I cant do that with a candidate though. Once they are there, then they are there and I got no leverage after that. Thank goodness you can make changes and work some do-overs in your own personal space.
So in the area of politics, the race for the White House and the current President, what is a regular, 40 hour work week, 80 dollar per month health care paying, law abiding citizen supposed to do? What?
Sure, no one candidate is perfect but I am tired of putting my trust into a candidate and subsequently a party that doesn't represent me or what I want in the end.
Is SELF really first and foremost with people as a rule? I honestly am starting to think so. I tell you what, I have a lot of thinking to do about the candidates, the parties and myself.
Time to get them thinking caps on folks...what do you know? Everything is a microcosm of something bigger. Duh!
y'all be cool and
Goddess Bless
I have no idea who I will vote for. NONE. Good grief. I just don't know. I wonder how people can be so loyal to one party or so SURE about the candidate that they are backing. Trust. That's what I mean. How can you be sure you can give your big thumbs up to someone who will essentially be beholden to the more monetarily enhanced of their constituency once they take office.
I mean I am no fan of G.W. and I didn't vote for him either but I notice that many who did are die hard in their allegiance to and his presidency.
Now I don't understand it but then I am not one of those people who believes that just because I have faith in a person at one time that I wont find them fallible at other times.
That is to say that just because I am a supporter of someone, it doesn't mean that I don't take issue with some of the things that they do. Our illusions are shattered now and again. We all have those moments when we see a side that takes us off guard. When it happens we have to evaluate the situation and ourselves which can be difficult and may be why people tend to continue to back lame duck--just saying. When it happens to me I take it in stride, even though I am a lot more sensitive then I like to believe and a heck of a lot more sensitive than people imagine. Maybe these die hard supporters are as sensitive I am. It's possible.
Now I don't run around all pouty and down in the mouth about it, and I don't run around being all obvious and put out (I mean I get upset like everyone else and it manifests for a minute but then I go right back to my audience normal--grudges aren't really my thing).
I process that information and yes, in some cases my perception of the individual may change--this cant be helped and honestly it isn't about the other person, it is about me. Like, How will I shape the relationship with the individual now that I have this new perception? Will I continue with the same level of faith or anti-faith (depending) when dealing with them? How much will I share or withhold from them in the future? If I were to be honest I would and will tell you that I withhold when I feel threatened and once I decide to withhold I tend to make it a natural part of interaction with the intended person. I cant do that with a candidate though. Once they are there, then they are there and I got no leverage after that. Thank goodness you can make changes and work some do-overs in your own personal space.
So in the area of politics, the race for the White House and the current President, what is a regular, 40 hour work week, 80 dollar per month health care paying, law abiding citizen supposed to do? What?
Sure, no one candidate is perfect but I am tired of putting my trust into a candidate and subsequently a party that doesn't represent me or what I want in the end.
Is SELF really first and foremost with people as a rule? I honestly am starting to think so. I tell you what, I have a lot of thinking to do about the candidates, the parties and myself.
Time to get them thinking caps on folks...what do you know? Everything is a microcosm of something bigger. Duh!
y'all be cool and
Goddess Bless
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