Okay folks, the lovely and vocal Goddess I am working with is Brigid!  And let's just say I think I perfered Mauve's subtle influences in my life with her preferences then Brigid's..................not that I don't enjoy Brigid's influence *said in a tongue in check voice while grinning*

So how did Brigid get me today?  Well as some of you know (the ones that actually read my blog) Randy and I are having some issues.  They could be major or the could be minor but either way they have been issues that have been burning for some time now.  And one of them is concerning the vechile I drive.  Or don't drive in Brigid's case.  Right now I am driving a 1992 Astro Van.  High in miliage but great on gas.  Old looking, dirty on the inside because the last owner never steam cleaned it but other wise cleaned of all trash.  We have a 1995 Chevy Lumina sitting in one of our sheds in pretty dayum good condition.  The only problems we have with it are the doors.  The driver's side doens't open at all and the passenger side door only opens from the inside.  Brigid knows that I have been sooooooooooo tired of fighting lately and the past few years I have only really been opening my mouth to Randy on big issues that I have been letting the small ones slide because I just don't have the energy anymore to keep arguing over the same dayum things. 

Well she spoke up about 3 weeks ago and told me to get after Randy to get the Luminu up and going before winter hit.  I told her that it wasn't a good time right at the moment because I jsut dropped a hundred or so on new brakes on his truck.  Well next thing I know Brigid the lovely Goddess made sure the passenger side window of the astro wouldn't go back up.  It took me 3 weeks to get Randy to attempt to fix it and what does he do?  He shatterst he window in the door!  Brigid is laughing the whole time and tells me to start opening my mouth again and to fuck everyone including family memebers who have a problem with me telling it like it is.  That is also one of the things she wants me to work on.........I stopped opening my mouth to family memebers because they either ignore me or blame me for issues or say they care about me and then turn around and treat someone who isn't as close to them or not even blood related as queen or king..............she wants me to open my mouth again because so many in the family need to be knocked off their pedestals and I will never get past her to another goddess if I don't start opening my mouth again! 

Anyway I have been driving the van as is and driving the truck when it rains (it's got brakes now yaya!) and I had a total unexplainable blonde moment from the neitherworlds!  I don't even know how the hell it happened!  Until I heard Brigid laughing manicaly in the back ground and Coltin going "MOM!  The Truck!"

What did I do?  Can someone explain to me how I parked Randy's big ass BLUE truck behind my RED van last night and this moring, I load the kids and myself up into ..........the VAN and promptly back into the TRUCK!  I was awake!  We weren't running late!  Brigid blinded my ass and the kids' asses to the truck sitting behind the van until the back doors of the van went *CRUNCH* and being the Goddess of Metal, she made dayum sure Randy's truck was just fine.  A red mark and a few scratches on the chrome grill guard but otherwise just honeky dory!  Insurance won't pay for Randy to get a new Grill because it was an add on.......doesn't matter that in the Midwest grill guards are a safety feature!  Oh well maybe next year I will buy Randy a new middle peace for his grill guard.

Ya think maybe Brigid wants me to act a lil bit quicker with her influence then Mauve?  I think so.  It isn't like I don't know how to voice my opinion.  TRUST ME!  I DO!  The last few years I have just stopped voicing it to those who have constantly hurt my feelings, have written me off in various ways, and as Brigid says:  "Girl, you have a lot of people you do for both close to you in life and those that live far away and they treat you like crap and think they are the shit!  It's time for you to start opening your mouth again and let them see the FIRE in YOUR HEAD and kick them off their pedestals!"  And Brigid wants me to start close to home.  This should be interesting!

Randy isn't to happy because even though the Astro Van is drivable it looks like a pure rezed out ghetto hoppied ass van now and I refuse to drive it; thus on his three days off for Labor Day.............he is going to get the driver's side door working, he is going to handle the kids, and going to finish his Honey Do List so I can start making the winterizing the house list of things I can't do for him!

Why I Pray to Adonai God

By Rev. Cathian

My confession

I am a former solitary practitioner of Wicca and Celtic Shamanism, a former card-carrying psychic (tested and certified), a medium, seer and a “healer.”

I misused the gifts that Adonai God gave me; I used them to heal people, to read them and counsel them, and to speak with loved ones who have passed on.

You might think these were noble causes, but some of them were wrong, and in none of them did I give Him glory. I felt that I was more merciful than He was; I was against the Church that I had served because they hurt me so very badly after years of service – yes, I was a Christian before I got into Wicca - some other time I will tell you how this all started.

I was a “remote-viewer” and could see death scenes and tell of details accurately. I used the gifts that the Lord gave me and prostituted them in the world of New Age spiritualism, spiritism, tarot cards, witchcraft (white) and various other practices that I felt could “enhance” my powers.

I was successful in helping people to a certain degree, but I got the glory; I used the gifts of God and gave myself the glory. I was headed for a terrible fall.

I hated Christians, and I hated their so-called “negative religion,” but feared Adonai God. I did not want to arouse His anger, but I wanted to use His power.

I lied to myself, knowing that God alone had the power of life, death and healing; I hedged my bets, praying in the name of the “maiden, mother and crone, and the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”  When I called the quarters, I called for the Lord and His pure and holy angels, NOT the imitation “Uriel, Raphael, Michael and Gabriel”, or elementals, familiars, guardians, or demon powers, or the horned god and the goddess in any of her aspects. When closing the circle, I called upon the Lord to protect me from anything outside while I worked. I thought I had all the bases covered.

I had a dear friend who was dying of cancer. I had prayed for her, “worked” for her, sent her “healing energy” and created items that were meant to heal her. I went so far as to make something for her to hold in her hand and meditate with so that I could reduce the swelling in her left arm, which had swollen to three times its normal size with fluid due to her cancer. The next day the arm had returned to its normal size, and I rejoiced, thinking I was on the road to healing her. But, it was like putting a Band-Aid on a person who has been impaled. So what, her arm shrank back to normal, but she died of cancer in her brain. It was a devastating blow.

I’ll tell the rest of the story some other time. I use this to illustrate these points:

1.       I was working for my friend because I loved her, but I was stealing power to do it, and it ultimately failed.

2.       I was full of pride because of what I could do; I did not give the glory to God who is the only one who truly heals.

3.       I thought I could use my ability to “send” energy to another to heal, but it is stolen energy because we humans breathe the breath of God – it is HIS to choose whom He will heal.

I lost everything I had, and the Lord took me to the “woodshed” for the biggest spanking of my entire life. I learned some very valuable lessons, but thought I was going to lose my life. There were people who were lying about me, and others who were believing those lies, who sought to do me great harm. I escaped with only a couple of bags of my clothes and my guitar. I went to live in a shelter. I lost my marriage, and for a time, I lost my relationship with all my children. The Lord certainly had my full attention.

I returned to the Lord Adonai, and I repented for my sins of pride and thievery (misuse of the gifts HE had given me). I repented of being a witch, a psychic, a medium, a shaman, and all other things that I did to attempt to be a little goddess. I expected to die for what I had done, since the Lord said to Israel that they should not suffer a witch to live.

But, He accepted me and cleansed me (1 John 1:9) and set me on the road to recovery. He taught me things that I had never heard in church, through the diligent reading of His Holy Word, the Bible, and the help of the Holy Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh). He called me with His calling, and I dedicated my life to Him completely. I am His servant, His slave, and I love Him with all my heart. He called me as His servant, and I live to obey Him. I would rather die today than to ever turn away from Him again. I love Him because He first loved me, and I love others because that is the expression of Christ to a dying world. I rejoice in my suffering, because He has chosen to allow me to live.

That is why I am writing to you now about prayer. I hope that you will listen to me and consider what I am saying.

Misconceptions on prayer

Prayer is a request; it does not have power of its own.

Prayer is one’s petition of One who is able to answer that prayer.

A petition holds no strength of its own; the one whom you petition is the One who can answer your prayers.

So the power of prayer is not in who prays, but the power of prayer is in the One to whom you pray.

Righteousness is found in Adonai God, and not through the workings of His enemies. Elijah was a prophet of the Most High God, Adonai Elohim. He fought the servants of Baal, a false god. There was a showdown to see which God truly answered prayers. Here is a lesson from the life of Elijah (also called Eliahu or Elias) the prophet to illustrate this point.

1 Kings 18:17-45

(17)  And it came to pass, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said unto him, Art thou he that troubleth Israel?

(18)  And he answered, I have not troubled Israel; but thou, and thy father's house, in that ye have forsaken the commandments of the LORD, and thou hast followed Baalim.

(19)  Now therefore send, and gather to me all Israel unto mount Carmel, and the prophets of Baal four hundred and fifty, and the prophets of the groves four hundred, which eat at Jezebel's table.

(20)  So Ahab sent unto all the children of Israel, and gathered the prophets together unto mount Carmel.

(21)  And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word.

(22)  Then said Elijah unto the people, I, even I only, remain a prophet of the LORD; but Baal's prophets are four hundred and fifty men.

(23)  Let them therefore give us two bullocks; and let them choose one bullock for themselves, and cut it in pieces, and lay it on wood, and put no fire under: and I will dress the other bullock, and lay it on wood, and put no fire under:

(24)  And call ye on the name of your gods, and I will call on the name of the LORD: and the God that answereth by fire, let him be God. And all the people answered and said, It is well spoken.

(25)  And Elijah said unto the prophets of Baal, Choose you one bullock for yourselves, and dress it first; for ye are many; and call on the name of your gods, but put no fire under.

(26)  And they took the bullock which was given them, and they dressed it, and called on the name of Baal from morning even until noon, saying, O Baal, hear us. But there was no voice, nor any that answered. And they leaped upon the altar which was made.

(27)  And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.

(28)  And they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancets, till the blood gushed out upon them.

(29)  And it came to pass, when midday was past, and they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that there was neither voice, nor any to answer, nor any that regarded.

(30)  And Elijah said unto all the people, Come near unto me. And all the people came near unto him. And he repaired the altar of the LORD that was broken down.

(31)  And Elijah took twelve stones, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Jacob, unto whom the word of the LORD came, saying, Israel shall be thy name:

(32)  And with the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD: and he made a trench about the altar, as great as would contain two measures of seed.

(33)  And he put the wood in order, and cut the bullock in pieces, and laid him on the wood, and said, Fill four barrels with water, and pour it on the burnt sacrifice, and on the wood.

(34)  And he said, Do it the second time. And they did it the second time. And he said, Do it the third time. And they did it the third time.

(35)  And the water ran round about the altar; and he filled the trench also with water.

(36)  And it came to pass at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near, and said, LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, let it be known this day that thou art God in Israel, and that I am thy servant, and that I have done all these things at thy word.

(37)  Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that thou art the LORD God, and that thou hast turned their heart back again.

(38)  Then the fire of the LORD fell, and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood, and the stones, and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.

(39)  And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces: and they said, The LORD, he is the God; the LORD, he is the God.

(40)  And Elijah said unto them, Take the prophets of Baal; let not one of them escape. And they took them: and Elijah brought them down to the brook Kishon, and slew them there.

(41)  And Elijah said unto Ahab, Get thee up, eat and drink; for there is a sound of abundance of rain.

(42)  So Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he cast himself down upon the earth, and put his face between his knees,

(43)  And said to his servant, Go up now, look toward the sea. And he went up, and looked, and said, There is nothing. And he said, Go again seven times.

(44)  And it came to pass at the seventh time, that he said, Behold, there ariseth a little cloud out of the sea, like a man's hand. And he said, Go up, say unto Ahab, Prepare thy chariot, and get thee down, that the rain stop thee not.

(45)  And it came to pass in the mean while, that the heaven was black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. And Ahab rode, and went to Jezreel.

From the New Testament, we see that the prayers of a righteous man avail much – but we must remember to Whom they avail:

James 5:16-20

(16)  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

(17)  Elias [Elijah] was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months.

(18)  And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit.

(19)  Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;

(20)  Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.

We cannot provide our own righteousness, but Jesus Christ suffered and died to take our place because we all have sinned. God cannot have fellowship with us when we are in sin, so He sent His son to remove that barricade that was between us. Through faith in the work of the cross, we receive the righteousness of Christ, and can then have fellowship with God. Then, through our new position as sons and daughters of Adonai God, we may bring our petitions to Him so that He will hear them.

Anyone can pray; there are no atheists in foxholes, so the saying goes. But only Adonai God can answer prayers. He may have mercy on some for His own purposes, though they are misguided in their petitions, and His love and compassion are great. But He is the one who answers our prayers:

James 1:17

(17)  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

God says that the soul that seeks Him shall find Him. Whoever comes to Him, He will not cast out. So seek the Lord, and bring Him your petitions. Love Him with all your heart and soul and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Then you will begin to become like Him in nature. Then you will ask of Him and He will not withhold from you.

Sincerely,

Rev. Cathian

Get the sick thoughts out of your heads right now!:P  This entry isn't about sex!:D

I received a horny gift last night from the Universe we live in.  I am very honoured and suprised to receive the gift!

Last night as soon as Randy got home from work, we loaded up went down the road to my parent's house to pick up my Pampered Chef from Dana's party (the first party I went too-Dana and I live in opposite directions and both work so was hard to get!) and my checks that I ordered (don't get me started on that!).  After we picked up my items we then ran into town (we don't go into town much-ghetto ass bullshit) to get cigs since I was lazy earlier today and didn't stop in Winnebago to get a carton!  When we pulled back in the drive my Auntie was outside cleaning up from what ever the workers were doing by her garage, so I stopped the truck and got out, Randy drove on down to the house.  I figured I had my checks now and rent is due in a few days and I haven't talked to my Auntie in about 2 weeks.  I went over paid the rent, teased her about her already blooming tulips (fake flowers-her and my mother have gotten lazy in their late 50s and early 60s on their flower beds!), oooed and awwwwwwwed over her new retaining walls being put up by her garage drive and then proceded to walk down our lane to our house.

Being a country girl, I scan the area in front of me constantly so I am not tripping over ruts, rocks, snakes, other critters, or other things.  As I got closer to the middle of our lane, there was nothing in front of me.  I scanned, looked up and scanned again.  I stopped.  Right in my line of step was my horny gift from the Universe!  It is a deer antler, a very well perserved one.  Either from a small buck or from an older doe.  It wasn't there before and all of a sudden it appeared.  And before you all say I jsut missed it before, sorry you don't miss a bone colored object in front of you on a muddy brown wet road one moment and see it the next! 

This is very precious to me because of my spirituality!  Being a Celtic Irish Druid, it holds significant meaning because of the Stag and Doe!  Our deer herds in the area are letting us know that we are welcomed!  They aren't in the woods behind the house much anymore but they still come to visit us.  We leave them alone and they leave us alone.  I said thank you and got back to the house and promptly got into the truck and ran back up to my Auntie's house to ask my Uncle if he had any spare corn cobs or grain I could have to feed the deer.  He gave me a 10 gallon bucket and I then went home and sprinkled it around in the woods for the deer to say thank you.  This morning the kids grabbed my digital camara (which is usually a no no) and grabbed some pictures of the woods behind the house-we had a herd of 25 plus deer in the woods eating the grain I sprinkled.  The pictures aren't very good due to it down pouring and yay the kids aren't use to my camara and so they won't load properly.  They then came running upstairs and got me up.  I went down stairs and saw why they were so excited!  The stag that was right in the middle of the woods was HUGE!  He had over 15 points and I kept loosing track of the points so it could have been more.  I swear to Lugh, that buck looked right at me and nodded his head and right after that, the biggest doe I have ever seen walked up behind him and looked right at us also!  She lifted her muzzle up in a nod also and then she nudged the buck.  Then those two bounded out of the woods and the other deer stayed to eat!  It was so awesome! 

I am so glad to be back home!  The Gods have really blessed us by letting the animals being so welcoming!