Celebrate @ MindSay

The reason why I wanted to post this blog is because of all the unhappy people I know that parents were a Witness when I was younger. I really hate to use the word Jehovah being the almighty name of God the father with such a religion as this cult organization, so therefore throughout this blog I will call them witnesses. I was born from birth to attend these meetings so I didn't have a choice as a lad. I was told that the rest of the world {which were not Witnesses were of this world} therefore, my friends could only be witnesses. Although I went to school, I could not invite them to my home unless I could convert them to being witnesses by having a bible study with them. I could not go to their homes, so i missed out on all the house parties and sleep overs on the weekends. I could not say the pledge of allegiance in which case was mandatory in elementary back in the day. I had to ask the teacher to be excused because of my religion. I could not sing or participate with holiday school activities. I could not celebrate my birthday, so therefore I never received a birthday card or cake or gifts from my mom on my birthday. On top of my mom not celebrating my birthday or holidays no one else could even save me because that was forbidden. I had to get up early on the weekends and go door to door to sell Witness magazines. I had to attend meetings because if I did not then I was punished by being beaten with a cord.

I felt isolated as a kid and then when I became older I was told that if I had sex then I had to marry that person or it would be a sin. I was also told that the person I had sex with would have to be a witness. So I saw kids wanting to marry just so they could have sex and be freed from their parents strict household. I saw people with sin that thought they were perfect or could be perfect just by bearing the name and rules of this religion. I saw people that, when they went up against this religion, then no longer could anyone from this organization associate themselves with them. I saw kids getting kicked out of their homes because they wouldn't attend meetings. I saw parents curse their children lives by telling them that without this religion in their lives then God will not listen to their prayers and they would live a cursed life without blessings. If you believe this stuff then it begins to encumber your soul and eventually you are torn between a world of conflict internally. This conflict affects the relationship later on in your life. You become unlovable, unattached, and very secretive about yourself. You become afraid of anyone truly knowing what's inside you because you were taught that you were wicked.

I never went to a therapist to get my mind resolved on my childhood issues, however I became a Christian. A Christian without rules and demands or my walk of life. A Christian were as the Lord is engraved in my heart and not in books made of paper and stone. I am taught by the holy spirit of the right and wrong paths, not by an imperfect being made up of flesh. Who can make mistakes at any given time like myself. I don't ever want to be mislead by false prophets, those that are the anti Christ, which means that, they don't believe Jesus as being one with God. I had to sever my relationship with my mom because she couldn't respect me saying no more lies. It was painful however needed. I was taught in a black society that disrespecting your parents basically means bringing hardship upon you. I was taught that you could not freely express your views without getting a slap on the face. However I saw the white society of kids express their feelings to their parents. Some said,"Get the fuck out of my room mom". Or, "Shut the fuck up or leave me the fuck alone or even fuck you bitch".

I recently came across a black artist that had an excerpt from a song on youtube, that said Yo mama you know you lied to me. And I wish I could hear the rest of that song, because everything that I felt she was expressing it. As if she knew me. I could never say what I wanted to say to my mom, but I felt like through her song, I could. I personally want to say to Kissimistry, thank you for making a song that defies all the lies we were taught in the black community far as voicing our concerns to our parents. Thank you for being the rebel or zealot as the witnesses would call you. Thank you for standing up. Click to listen to Yo Mama excerpt, it's after the first song.

I HAVE A JOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

After four months of horrid searching, pointless job interviews, I finally got offered a job based in my suburb. Not just any job, a traineeship in Business Administration with a not-for-profit councelling organisation. So that's very good. It's hard to get a traineeship when I already have a Diploma and first year of a degree.

 

Not many places would offer one to someone my age as well. I'm 22 which is not exactly ancient obviously, but that's old in the traineeship world. Generally offices would hire someone younger that they can pay less. But this place organised that I'm at their branch for 3 days and in another suburb for 2 days just so they could afford me. :) It's a nice feeling knowing that I'm almost too expensive to hire and the employer still wants to hire me, even if it's minimum wage.

 

The pay, well, it's crap, let's just say I won't be making what a graduate makes... but that's ok because I live at home and don't need much to live on at the moment.

 

Benefits

• I'm working 9-5 Monday to Friday.
• I get to earn a Certificate III in Business Administration
• I get half a day a week in the office to study
• The people are great
• I get to meet lots of people
• It's smart casual not corporate, so I can afford the work clothes
• Lots of running around so I'll get fit
• I get to write and do some knowledge management related work
• They're going to trust me with their banking... mmm... lol
• I won't be bored
• No more interviews, just an induction

The past few months have been kind of hellish for me for various reasons.  I have pulled back from a great many things because I have had no desire to do anything, be around anyone, or even practice my spirituality.  Then a few weeks ago I posted I have a pair of Screech owls on my property.  Granted I said that usually owls don't have the best reputations and many cultures fear them.  But like myclette said owls aren't evil as so many folks think.  They are wise, all knowing, and are the eyes to our souls and usually mean change.  Great change.

 

I am not exactly sure what Great Change is heading my way.  I probably won't even know it until it is done and gone.  That is usually how the Gods work.  Anu and Macha are real good at these changes. Brigid has been appearing to me more and more lately as has Maeve.  I have been working with Maeve since before we left OK.  I have made great strides in what Maeve has been imparting to me.  The main point that this lovely but  sexy drama death Goddess has hammered into my head is to be happy with my body.  And I don't mean with how it looks.  I have never really had an issue with how I look.  I may not be a stunning beauty but I am one hot MILF.  What Maeve did for me is to remind me that I am a woman first and that my body changes with time and that it is OKAY!  To embrace it.  To take time for myself.  Maeve appeared to me right after I pulled her card from the Goddess Healing deck and I am so happy that she made time for me.

 

I didn't tell anyone that Maeve has been working with me because so many in the Tuatha would have pointed out or went and researched that Maeve is quite the lil Bitch when provoked and her Goddess relatives and friends are just as blood thirsty as Maeve is when you mess with her or hers.  So many don't realize that Maeve is the embodiment of a strong beutiful woman and embraces her sexuility and her body.  This is and was exactly what I needed at the time I was dignoised with diabetes and having a hard time coming to terms that in this life I am a Mother before I am anything else and I needed to balance that with my needs instead of focusing on motherhood or woman hood.

 

As for Brigid appearing more and more to me, those conversations and workings are still confidential.  But Brigid is the one that pointed out to me that it was time to move on with the Goddess Healing Deck.  Maeve would always be there for me when I needed her but it was time to move on to the next Goddess and realize that just because some of the Goddesses may not be Irish or even another Celtic deity to either work with them or find their Celtic equvlant (sp?). 

 

To celebrate and pay honor to Maeve my past few months dealings with Her, I am off to get my brows waxed and a manicure and pedicure.  And once Randy is home we are going to have a romantic dinner with OUT the kids and give Maeve a lil late night show   :D

 

I'll let you all know who the next Goddess is that gets to help me change for the better:D

FOR THOSE WHO KNOW  littlecauldron IT'S HER BIRTHDAY TODAY !!!

TURNING THE BIG 20 ...... WOOT !!!!!!

MAKE SURE YOU STOP IN AND WISH HER A HAPPY ONE ..... !!!

LOVE YOU AMANDA ..... !!!!