Careers @ MindSay

Recently we have heard that Iran has been doing uranium enrichment again and we were told about a nuclear facility in QOM.  We have heard many people refer to Iran’s President Ahmadinejad as a cowboy.  Well, in light of the recent findings it seems appropriate to honor this occasion with a blast from the past (courtesy of slim pickens).

We hope that the U.S. handles this situation well and treats it like the serious matter that it is. We really see this WMD threat as a serious challenge to World peace.  We also hope that the intelligence information is inaccurate and that Iran truly is just investigating nuclear power.  It’s definitely a serious issue that impacts our national security and the security of the world.

You can check out jobs with the department of homeland security here.

Last year I was almost dead set on becoming something in the medical career. I love watching medical shows (House) and especially medical documentaries (i.e. about OCD, conjoined twins, progeria, etc).

However, I've analyzed my life and realized with my laziness and lack of motivation for schoolwork, I cannot become anything in the medical career. Just because I am fascinated with the human body and different conditions, does not mean I am cut out to become a physician. It takes discipline, love of ALL people and able to control people when they are in hysterics/a mad fit of rage/etc, being able to work long hours, MANY years of school along with top marks, and not being grossed out by normal things.

When it comes to myself, I obviously lack discipline, I am not a fan of children (although I honestly love people...especially my friends. I care deeply about all of you...really, I do), I am lazy and therefore would not be able to work long hours, I do not want to be in school for too many more years (and again due to my laziness I have shit marks), and I get grossed out when I see someone bleeding in real life.

What it comes down to, is that last year, I thought I wanted to be in the medical career, but after realizing the above things, I changed my mind. I looked at my interests and decided that history would be much better suited to me, despite the fact it may be hard to find jobs here in T-BAY. I'm sure I will find something though. There are problems with every career path.

However, my main problem standing in my way is my laziness in school. I used to be a straight-A student, but after I went through a bad fit of depression a few years ago, I stopped caring, and stopped doing regular homework. As a result, today I am several weeks behind in all my courses, and brutally failing. I have very difficult courses (2 University courses and 2 advanced placement courses. Maths and Sciences, no doubt) and have dug my self a deep, deep hole in less than 2 months. I have no idea how I'm going to get from failing to above a 70% average before exams…especially with the fact that today I found out that only the first half my Calculus course counts towards my mark, meaning that I got to do extremely well on the last few assignments/quizzes/tests and the exam in order to get a passing mark. It will be hell, but it's something I got to do.

But now that I realize what I want to do in University, I'm asking myself "Why am I taking the extremely hard courses and not doing any work and failing when I could take easy courses, not do any work and pass?" It's obviously because last year I thought I was going into the medical career, but I really should have changed my semester around in September, and then I wouldn't be in this situation. And I wouldn't have to deal with the stuck up, rich, preppy kids either. They keep asking me "What is your mark, Kristal? What did you get on your test, Kristal?" etc etc. I always say, "I don't discuss marks." because it's really none of their business. This therefore poses the question "Why ask if you don't care?" (Hence the title of this blog.) Because really, they are not friends with me, I don't talk to them (and vice versa), and my mark has nothing to do with them. I believe they are asking in order to feel a sense of superiority against me. I don't know if they realize I'm failing (they prob. do) but really, they should be concerned about their own mark, not mine. I feel shitty enough for being selfish and not doing anything, I don't need them laughing at me along the way.

High school is bullshit. It's shit years in which the problems we face do not matter in the long run. Sure, things like pregnancies will affect those girls who get pregnant, but really, 90% of the people in my classes are caught up in the world of sports, student council meetings, drinking with friends and homework, and complain when a teacher they have tries to teach like a university professor to get them prepared for real life. It annoys me that they live in this protective little bubble of meaningless gossip, and unleash their "problems" unto other people.

I'm just glad that I got out of that group many years ago. I believe my friends really do understand the real world, and understand real problems. Of course we all bitch about our problems, but I really do think all my friends problems are true and really matter: they aren't about a basketball game, they are about illness, poverty and drug use. Of course we all worry about friends (myself included) but I believe in order to really be a high school student that's prepared for real life once they get out, we must know and experience bits of reality outside our shell. Of course, we all must enjoy friends: that's the fun! But we mustn’t be ignorant either.

I love you guys, truly and deeply. I'm so glad you face reality instead of ignore it. Don't ever lose that about you.

okay I make fiber art. I used to be sort of an  artist with people , especially children. But now i work with silk and wool and beads and bones and muckety muck stuff. It's a good thing. Be on the look out because some insane group of Portlanders actually decided my work was good enough to be in a show. wow. huh?


and how did this transformation happen? I started as a pre-dentistry student at a posh school. dropped out  for marriage and when I resumed the academic life I began again as a biology major - but this time at a slightly less posh women's college. That morphed into botany as I had an uncanny skill at classifying flowering with small surgical tools, a botanical key and a binocular microscope. After being terrorized by my academic advisor to get the fuck out of the biology building I took an art history class.

That class, it's location in the funkier part of the campus where artsy types hung upside down from the chairs and poetically discussed life and the fact that I discovered I had a morbid fear of rattle snakes, took me to change my major over to the art department. I was nervous about that decision as biology was hard work and art plus art history came very easily to me ( I assumed that if it was easy it could not be worthwhile- nice jewish mom and dad did a job on me) but another academic- a young woman who painted and fenced during class breaks told me I had an enormous flair for "seeing" and I should not stick with something because it was simply hard and expected of me.

So by the end of my Sophomore year I was officially an art history major with a minor in studio art and great year of biological sciences under my belt. I graduated summe cum laude. and went off immediately to grad school with the idea that I would end up an art critic  who dabbled in making art.

My financial aid package was less than sublime and I they lost my application to be art history library curator- which helped pay undergrad tuition... and so I had to find a part time job. It was teaching little kids. and lo and behold I was REALLY talented at that. Seeing a pattern here? It is not egomania. It simply is the recognition - in middle age- that I do many things well and that’s pretty damn well a blessing.

So I taught for years, getting promotions and moving to more chi-chi schools until the time to get back on the grad school wagon came. I was wildly torn now between architecture and educational psychology. Each would result in higher income, Each suited my abilities- although I was doing myself a great disservice at the time because I was still wallowing in a cold hearted defense that came from growing up in a wildly dysfunctional  family.

I still made art but I kept it private, never though of myself as an artist, and certainly never made an effort to put my work out there. I did however in my classroom run a fantastically authentic art area that really respected their creativity and had very passionate feeling about how kids should be encourage to REALLY create and use their creations in the way they wanted.

ok I went to grad school in ed psych. got a master. got a doctorate. along the way I was even on the psychiatric faculty of a major med school and had ECE research published. but the art was always there. the grad degrees taught me a lot and especially how to make money, the art degree taught me how to look and live.  And I itill dabbled with water color and photography and botanical illustrations.

During a horrible time living in Alabama I started having recurrent dreams about houses with rooms in them I never knew existed. Amazing rooms filled with all sorts of supplies and fun things that I had never seen in the before.  it didn't take too much thought to realize the house was me and major parts of my self were not being used.. namely the core authentic artist self. and so I started small. I had begun to teach  art in Denver while teaching. I resumed that in Alabama. and I also started making  things. sewn utilitarian things for which I actually got paid money and received commissions. it was the ting edge of the wedge.

Because when I came back west - esp NW which is paradise to me, the bad dreams stopped.  Mostly because I had made a  very momentous decision not to apply for licensure and leave an entire clinical /education career behind and apply myself as a an artist.  a.r.t.i.s.t.  wow … Oh it wasn't easy at first. Old habits grab you.  My first volunteer stint was at the JCC preschool which I ditched because the teachers  were really sweet but utterly clueless and while no kids were being harmed, the art work coming out of the roaming " art teacher" all looked alike and was universally abysmal. I mean I am a woman who had four years olds creating amazing things, studying color theory and holding articulate critique sessions at the end of each 2 hour class. and now I was watching shaving cream slopped on paper and called art. Oy Ve. get the picture?

So I found volunteer activities more suited to my passions. Portland's Classical Chinese Garden had me greeting at the gate while I took the long class to become a docent.  and OMSI gets my body in a horrible red  polo shirt once a week- it’s my little kid fix- both feed my soul and sense of mitzvot. and the rest of the week I make art. A R T. small jeweled whimsies of silk and wool – abstract painting in fiber. And they are organic and fun and I just let the stuff happen trusting to the muse.

So recently the most amazing thing is that I entered my work into a JURIED SHOW- and was accepted. so now I use the  word artist after my name and in my blog and in my email and its damn amazing that I am coming full circle to being one of those people who hangs upside down on chairs and muses about life. It's a good thing. Man oh man