Previously published in 2007. Last night Ray and I watched this movie,
Calvaire. It is one of the most gut-wrenching, ball-shriveling, jawdroppingly terrifying movies either of us has ever seen. This movie never lets you have a moment of peace, it starts off creepy and there is never a relaxation in the anticipation of dread. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a 50.
Dodgy singer dude Marc performs at this old folks zoo and gets groped by this ancient hag and one of the employees afterwards. I mean, he wasn't THAT good. But the pickings are pretty slim in the last rest stop before the funeral home. As Simon would say, I found Marc's performance "very cabaret".
Anyhoo, Marc is glad to get the f**k out of dodge...I got the feeling that Marc isn't too much into those of the feminine persuasion. So, with a stinky finger and crushed ribs, Marc leaves to perform at a Christmas Gala somewhere. Of course, he promptly gets lost and ends up in the snowy backwoods in the middle of nowhere, his van broken down, he has no reception on his cell phone...It just goes rapidly downhill from this point on.
I never thought I would say this, but the DANCE SCENE in this film is the scariest, most ominous thing I have ever seen. It must be seen to be believed. You want to laugh, but it's too creepy and frightening.
I don't know why I have never heard of this film, it's a horror masterpiece. If this is the kind of shit they get down with in Belgium, I am afraid of what they might be putting in the chocolates! People, get thee to the nearest video store and rent this piece of nastiness. You will not be disappointed. Not for mainstream audiences- if your idea of horror is ill-shit like
Final Destination or these unnecessary remakes they keep feeding to the general movie-going sheep (
The Hills Have Eyes,
The Fog,
The Ring, etc. etfuckingc...) don't bother seeing
Calvaire. Here's a good test. If you don't know who Paul Bartel is, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. Yeah, I'm a movie snob...
