Called True Love @ MindSay

GOOD BYE

 

When you said I love you

When you held me tight and said I will never let go

When you said I wont let you go

When you said I'll try harder

When you looked in my eyes

When you said trust me

 

Did you mean it?

 

When you took my virginity

When you came in side

When you took your hand and slid it down my thighs

When you talked to me like never before

When you told me things

When you kissed all over me

 

Did you mean it?

 

When our lips became one

When we slept through the sun

When I gave myself to you

When you said forever

When you no one will take you away

When you called me baby

 

Did you really mean it?

 

I meant what I said and I trusted you too.

But for some reason you broke my heart in two.

When you said forever I guess you left out  the truth.

When you said I love you I guess you meant I like you to.

When you looked into my eyes you were really looking for her.

I guess I was the sucker and you got off on that.

So when I say Did you mean it Im really saying good bye.

Why they call it true love is be on me.

You didn't feel a thing for me and I just couldn't see.

What your eyes were really saying to me. 

 

So when I say Did you mean it. I really do mean Good Bye.

 

---Cotton Picker

 

 My fathers baby sister just called to tell me my grandmother would not be here much longer. Between the diabetes and the two strokes she has had within this past year, her body has taken all that it can. I can say with an open heart that I love my mother more than I will ever love another in this world, with that said I would not want her to linger and suffer simply out of my own need to have her in my life.

Daddy has been through so much in his life and I would have thought that he might be given time to spend quiet time, son and mother time with her now that he had retired. I prayed she would be allowed to return back to a quiet place and free from the nursing home daddy was forced to place her in, but this has not been God's will. If it is selfish forgive me in advance, but please give daddy the chance to see his mother before she passes and allow what is to be.

Howdy Howdy all!

I am so angry I could just scream! Okay, so I have a relation who ran into some trouble with the law. She committed the crime and went to prison. Actual prison. Now she has not had a great life thus far. She had a very, very difficult childhood and this is no excuse but still it shouldn't be excluded completely. Now she paid her debt to society and is trying to get her life together. Well apparently there was this big caucus about how she is an unfit mother and she should not be allowed to raise her children.
The people who mis-managed her upbringing want to now raise her children. Sigh. I don't get this. Instead of trying to make sure she gets on her feet well and can be a mom to her kids folks are trying to punish her further. I have had heated conversations with any number of individuals on the topic until I just cant say anything further without losing my cool completely!

I talked it all over with The Sarge and he was like "hey you have to do the right thing by her because no one else is in her corner and what if you were in her place?"
Which is true and was always my intention. But Damn!
I called a particular cousin and was trying to explain some things to her but she just kept demon-izing cousin #2. I find this odd since she knows how fast family can turn on your ass when they disapprove of something or feel like they should get more out of you than they already have.
I couldn't even tell her anything about what was true and not true about her situation. Then she wouldn't quite telling me all the stuff that was going on with her and how our other cousin was so far from "The Lord". I couldn't take it anymore so I just got off the phone.  This conversation inspired the blog I wrote before my Sense and Sensibility one and I tried to keep it vague but I (literally) just realized that some clarification might be in order...Good Grief .
I just read something about self-centered-ness and let me tell you---truer words were never written---
Of course as soon as I woke up my phone was ringing off the hook---my mother, cousin, aunt....I have decided to ban all phone conversations on the subject of cousin #2 until further notice with my family! Grrrrr...

Oh, and I wrote a blog but accidentally checked the classmates only box instead of public ooopppsss I wondered and wondered why that post hadnt shown up! LOL!
I need a drink!
Goddess Bless

Howdy howdy all! Well instead of watching the Super Bowl I cleaned and watched IdleWild with Myclette. Well a friend called and reminded us to watch Prince's halftime performance and it was FABULOUS. I am behind on reading blogs right now but tomorrow between classes I will catch up with everyone. Anyway, Seal has this song called Touch which I could not find on youtube to post. I love that song! It is so beautiful and if someone was to sing that way about me...man...I guess I am just a hopeless romantic but...Do ya'll think that sort of love exists for everyone? I mean I hope so...anyway I am posting Love Divine by Seal instead because it talks about love. More pointedly about the imperfection of it (love) and the beauty in that perfection---how the doomed aspect makes it that much MORE...ya know? Well that really is just my take on it....oh well here is the video ya'll---Enjoy

 

 

 

 

 

How about some poetry...here goes...(uhm I think I am getting the hang of it---still have a ways to go though)

 

Lone Star

The sweat collects at his collar
The Texas heat aids his seduction
What codes must that drop there contain
What would it tell me if I tasted it

 

Would it dance on my tongue
Would it poison my soul
Would it mingle and change my constitution
Sweet mutations; more and better

 

Smell mixed with want

Want mixed with heat
Heat mixed with you
We mixed as one

Sweat; sweet mutation; more and better--T.S.S. aka Environgirl

 

Goddess Bless

 

This quiz makes me feel boring.  Don't read unless your brain is melting our of your head in boredom.  And even if it is, it'll just continue the melting process.  Probably make it faster, too...^^;  Silly wastes of time...

 

• c o n f e s s i o n s •

~•*be honest*•~
- y e s - o r - n o -
I'M AFRAID OF SILENCE: Ehh...if I spend like more than a day without talking much it'll start messing with my brain, but on its own no.
I TALK A LOT WHEN I GET NERVOUS: Either that or very little.
I AM REALLY TICKLISH: Yes.
I'VE BEEN CALLED A TEASE: No.
I'VE BEEN CALLED "JAIL-BAIT": No.
I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK: No.  Not unless it's a dark, creepy public restroom. 0_0
I'M AFRAID OF FACING MY BACK TO OPEN DOORS AT NIGHT: No.
I CAN'T SLEEP IN A ROOM IF THE CLOSET DOOR IS OPEN: No.
I AM A HOMOSEXUAL: No.
I BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE: Yes.
I'VE RUN AWAY FROM HOME: No.
I LISTEN TO POLITICAL MUSIC: No.
I COLLECT COMIC BOOKS: Yes...heehee manga obbession...
I SHUT OTHERS OUT WHEN I'M SAD:  Sometimes.  Probably. ^^;
I'VE STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT: Yes.
I OPEN UP TO OTHERS EASILY: Sometimes, depends on the person.
I AM KEEPING A SECRET FROM THE WORLD: Hmm nothing I can think of?  Maybe one, but it's lame.
I WATCH THE NEWS: Sometimes.
I OWN OVER 5 RAP CD'S: No.
I LOVE DISNEY MOVIES: Yes. ^^  Some are boring, but there are awesome ones too.  Like the Finding Nemo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Little Mermaid, and Anastasia...
I AM A SUCKER FOR GREEN EYES: No.
I AM A SUCKER FOR BROWN EYES: Ehhhh.
I AM A SUCKER FOR BLUE EYES: All eyes are good!  Just be glad you have them!
I DON'T KILL BUGS: I'm too afraid of them too kill them...^^;  Unless it's a puny ant.  Then I pity it.  Unless it's in the kitchen or living room....*smoosh* Sorry?

I CURSE: When I'm alone, sure.
I'VE CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: No.

I'VE SLIPPED AND FELL IN PUBLIC: Yes.
I'VE SLIPPED OUT A "LOL" IN A REAL CONVERSATION: No.
I LOVE SPAM: No.
I'M A GOOD COOK: No.
I HAVE WORN PAJAMAS TO CLASS: Yes.
I HAVE OWNED SOMETHING FROM ABERCROMBIE: No.
I WANT A BETTER JOB..OR A JOB: This summer, yes.
I'VE TALKED ON THE PHONE FOR 6+ HOURS: No.  I think 3 hours was the longest.
I LOVE DR. PHIL: No.
I LIKE SOMEONE: Ehh, no.
I AM GUILTY OF TyPiNg LiKe ThIs: No.
I AM SELF-CONSCIOUS: Not too much, but sometimes
I LOVE TO LAUGH: Yes! ^^
I DRINK ALCOHOL FREQUENTLY: Nope, too young.
I'VE SMOKED A PACK OF CIGARETTES IN 1 DAY: Never had one.
I'M NOT A VIRGIN: Not true!
I LOVE LORD OF THE FLIES: Ehh, not really.  it was kind of creepy.  And why did Piggy tell everyone NOT to call him Piggy?  Just don't mention it all all!!! @_@
I EAT COUGH DROPS WHEN I'M NOT SICK: No.
I CAN'T SWALLOW PILLS: False.
I HAVE A LOT OF SCARS: No.
I CAN'T SLEEP IF I KNOW THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE ROOM: Hmm....no.  But I'll be thinking about it.
I LOVE CHOCOLATE: YES!!!! CHOCOHOLICS ALL THE WAY!!!
I BITE MY NAILS: No, not usually.

I TWIRL MY HAIR: Not on purpose.
I AM COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ME: Yes. ^^
I PLAY COMPUTER GAMES WHEN I'M BORED: Umm....if the internet counts as a game. ^^;
I TAKE THESE GAY SURVEYS WHEN I'M BORED: Well, I am now.
I'VE SEEN A SHOOTING STAR: No.
I'VE HAD A "MENAGE A TROIS": A what? 
I'VE GONE OUT IN PUBLIC IN MY PAJAMAS: Yes.
I'VE KISSED A STRANGER: No.
I'VE KISSED SOMEONE FOR THE HELL OF IT: No.
I'VE HUGGED A STRANGER: Maybe friends of friends, if they count as strangers.  Not really.
I'VE BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX: Yes, but we were just kidding.
I'VE LAUGHED AND HAD SOME TYPE OF BEVERAGE COME OUT OF MY NOSE: Kinda?
I'VE PUSHED ALL THE BUTTONS IN AN ELEVATOR: No.
I'VE MADE OUT IN AN ELEVATOR: No.
I'VE KICKED A GUY WHERE IT HURTS ON PURPOSE: Ummmm.....he deserved it!!! ^^;
I'VE BEEN SKYDIVING: No.
I'VE BEEN BUNGEE JUMPING: No.
I'VE HAD STITCHES: No.
I'VE BITTEN SOMEONE..AS A JOKE: Probably when I was younger....
I'VE BEEN TO NIAGARA FALLS: No.
I'VE HAD THE CHICKEN POX: No.
I'VE CRASHED INTO A CAR: No.
I'VE BEEN TO JAPAN: Hah, I wish.
I'VE RIDDEN IN A TAXI: Yes.
I'VE SHOPLIFTED: No.
I'VE BEEN FIRED: No.
I'VE HAD FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE THEM BACK: hmmm
I'VE STOLEN SOMETHING FROM MY JOB: No.
I'VE BEEN ON A BLIND DATE: No.
I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER: No.
I'VE CELEBRATED MARDI GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS: No.
I'VE BEEN TO EUROPE: I want to go.
I'VE SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER, AND/OR EMPLOYEE: No.
I'VE BEEN MARRIED: No.
I'VE GOTTEN DIVORCED: No.
I'VE BEEN PREGNANT: No.
I'VE SEEN SOMETHING/SOMEONE DYING: No for someone, yes for something.
I HAVE A LIST OF PEOPLE I WANT TO KILL: No.
I'VE DRIVEN OVER 400 MILES IN 1 DAY: Not sure...
I'VE BEEN TO CANADA: No.
I'VE BEEN ON A PLANE: Yes.
I'VE SEEN THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW: No.
I'VE THROWN UP FROM DRINKING: No.
I'VE EATEN SUSHI: No.
I'VE BEEN SKIING: No.
I'VE BEEN ICE SKATING: No.
I'VE CRIED IN PUBLIC: Yes.
I'VE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE: No.
I'VE LIKED SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE: hmmmmm
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT SOMEONE ALMOST 24/7: ? Not sure?
I'VE HATED THE WORLD: Nah.