Cabbage Patch Effect @ MindSay

Remember the mid-80s around this time of year?  Droves of parents were throwing civility into the wind, shoving each other in department stores and malls for the sole purpose of reaching the holy grail for their children:  finding that rare Cabbage Patch doll still on the shelves.

I never had a Cabbage Patch doll. Never wanted one.  I was more disappointed that Coleco had decided to go the doll route rather than improving upon the Colecovision, their prized console-based game system for which I yearned. But I did have friends whose parents actually did brave the crowds if only to get one of those chubby cheeked dolls which came with its own birth certificate.

I remember radio stations having contests for listeners to win their own Cabbage Patch dolls. I recall the shrieks of girls on the air as they won this prized possession.  It was simply the gift to get.

Throughout the years there have been other incarnations of "that rare gift."  There was even a god awful movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad about two dads fighting over one specific toy.   Tickle-Me-Elmo became one such toy a few years back.  Some would say that the Wii was in the same category when it came out.

This year the hot item in the DC area seems to be Hannah Montana tickets.

If you've never heard the music or seen the television show starring the talent that plays Hannah Montana -- well, join the club. All I know is that she's popular. Very popular. And that her dad is played by Billy Ray Cyrus.  And that the Hannah Montana show will be at the Verizon Center in downtown DC on January 7.

Tickets to this event sold out in record time. And why not? Like most hot tickets in this town, the notion that availability is scarce only boosts price and demand. Some parents have been willing to shell out thousands of dollars for "brokered" (formerly known as "scalped") tickets to the show.

Sadly, we're living in a town where there are many, many parents with this type of money to burn.  While there are many in the area just trying to make ends meet, the DC area also has some of the most affluent suburbs in the country.  And residents who will get these tickets for their seven year olds simply because they're a hot item.

We're even at the point where we have a local talk radio targeted at a predominantly male demographic holding contests to give away Hannah Montana tickets.  It's strange to see a promotion for this concert from a show called "The Sports Junkies."  The nationally Syndicated Don and Mike show is hosting an edition of "Strip Trivia" (it's just like it sounds) in their studios this afternoon for "MILFs only" -- with the grand prize being one pair of tickets.

I'm thankful that our son has never heard of Hannah Montana.  Simply put, I don't think it would be a good idea for me to get naked on the radio.

Did you get a PS3 this year? If you did, you're one of the few, the proud, and the stupid. Due to what I've come to call the "Cabbage Patch Effect," (aptly named after the first toy craze I can remember) demand for the video game systems far outweighed supply, and people have been injured amongst the masses attempting to get their hands on the sparse units available. The frenzy starts several days before, when people start setting up camp on the cold hard sidewalks outside stores, awaiting the exact minute when the consoles become available. Media outlets show up, driving the hype to a new level and encouraging more people to participate in the insanity. When the sale is finally given the green light, usually at midnight on the date of release, the tired, frustrated, and often malodorous wanna-be gamers push, pull, elbow, shove, trample, punch, and even shoot at each other in order to be one of the first to own new gaming system.

So what do those few people get for all their troubles? A bug-ridden, overpriced, first-issue gaming system that doesn't have many games developed for it yet. This year we've seen a new kind of "bug" with the Nintendo Wii systems. The motion detection game controller allows people to step even further into the games than ever before. Playing baseball? Swing the remote like a bat to make the game respond. Fishing? Cast your line with the controller and the game mimics your movements. Drawbacks? If you become too engrossed into the game and a bit overzealous with your movements, the wrist strap can break, sending the remote sailing across the room. Several people have been left with broken household items, injuries, and even shattered their television sets. Although Nintendo has taken steps to correct the issue, it makes one wonder if it was really worth all that trouble. (See Wii Have a Problem for stories and photos of the damage.)

Those who didn't manage to get their new toys at the store, there's always eBay. But hot items generally sell for a ridiculously inflated price, which is a further testament to the idiocy prevalent in society today. And beware of sellers who like to take advantage of the hype or you may end up paying $500 for an empty box. (Side note: I have a low tolerance for stupidity. If you don't take your time and fully read the description of the item on the auction block, then you are a moron and you deserve an empty box. Whoever started that trend is brilliant, and I wish I'd thought of it.)

In this day of instant gratification, people don't want to wait for anything. A little bit of common sense will tell you that after the Christmas rush is over, the systems will be more widely available. A few months after that, the major bugs will have come to light and later releases won't have the issues seen in earlier versions. By the time summer rolls around and students on break have more time to spend playing games, the choice in available games will be greater. And by next Christmas, when people have focused on the next "must-have" toy or item, the price on these consoles will drop a considerable amount. Especially in these cases, there's a lot to be said for restraint and patience. Save your money, your trouble, your television, and possibly your life, and just buy a new game for last year's model instead. What have you got to lose by waiting?

Don't forget what happened to dear Veruca Salt and her "I want it NOW" mantra. It rarely pays off in the end.