Burger King @ MindSay

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Media Studies seems to be looking more interesting at the moment. We're studying the slasher horror genre, so Sarah had us watching documentaries about it today and making notes. Lots of gory clips and commentary from the directors - so this was fairly entertaining.
In Photography, I sat with Michelle and we both did some work on editing our photos. This icons project is seriously wank. I like the work I did over the break - so I want to get on with that, but noooo...
And as always, English was relativley shite. I despise the group and the subject matter is just pissing me off currently. Angela better start changing the lesson directions or I'm going to become a terror.

During my beasty break, I wandered into town.
I got myself a £1.99 King Deal from Burger King and sat on the green benches outside while I ate it. I can cope with the mustard, mustard is okay. I can pick out the gherkins - I just fucking despise tomato sauce. I end up wiping it off the bun with my napkin, but only because I'm too nervous and meek to simply say: "Can I have that with no sauce, please?"

I'd aquired some cash so I went to CEX and bought some Gamecube games.
I've decided that I need an equal balance of Gamecube and PS2 games. The 'Cube will always be my favourite, but the way my wishlist is looking, and the price of some of these PS2 games, I'm going to end up with more. I have about 50 'Cube games currently, so I'm going for 'Cube-exclusive titles as well as some others that are available on both - but I'd rather play with 'Cube controls.

So today I got XIII and Spyro: Enter The Dragonfly.
This is insane. I've bought 5 games this week, and THREE of them are SHOOTERS.
The genre I despise with a passion. I'm trying to broaden my gaming horizons, perhaps. Ian's told me that XIII is good - and I read the back cover, it's all cel-shaded comic-strip style graphics - so it looks okay... We'll just have to see if the whole shooting narrative fucks it over.

During the rest of my break, I sat in the LRC and finished off Pokémon Sapphire - beating the Elite Four.
So I've marked it down as BEATEN on my Backloggery. I might go for the full Hoenn Dex. Fuck the National Dex, I can't be chewed.

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Tuesday was so shitty.
I did shite all once again in English Language.
Angela can either be helpful, or totally fucking ignore you.

JUST BECAUSE I GOT AN A* AT GCSE, DOESN'T MEAN I'LL NEVER STRUGGLE WITH AS-LEVEL WORK.

Fucking slag.
So sick of being ignored.
Do I not pull a good enough "I'm-fucking-struggling-here-come-and-fucking-help-me" face?!

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I was so bored when Ashleigh want up to tutorial.
I didn't bring my black ringbinder with me - and all I wanted to do was draw.
So I ended up sitting playing Solitaire, listening to Rammstein albums.

I've discovered another song I really like by them - Rein Raus.
Translates to 'In Out' - and it's all about sexxxxxxx. Lmfao. Rammstein have funny songs.

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When Shelly arrived - she had a bandage around the foot she'd kaned in on the Saturday night and she was hobbling around like a drunken peg-legged pirate.

Yet, she still insisted we go to town.
This of course, was me walking and pushing Ash at my normal speed - Shelly said I was walking too fast.
Lmao, she should see how fast I walk when I'm alone. Especially walking to the bus station.

Ashleigh and I have decided we're not letting Shelly come into town until she's steadier on her foot.
We don't want her to end up hurting herself.

I got a £1.99 King Deal from Burger King.
Small fries, a small cheeseburger and a small Coke.

It wasn't bad - was actually quite filling - wasn't bloating like my favourite XL bacon double.
If I get another one though, I'll request that they don't include gherkins, tomato sauce or mustard.
I'm not a fan of scraping foul condiments from the top of my bun with a napkin.

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We went up to Photography when we came back.
Everyone's in a mad panic hurry to get both sketchbooks finished.

My unit 2 is practically done - I just need to add in my final piece and all that accompanying shite.
My unit 1 is a pile of shite though. I'm not looking forward to working on that again.

I can't remember what triggered it off - but I started feeling really shitty during this lesson.
I wasted my time away looking at random shite on DeviantArt and reading over my old blog entries.

I then found Lisa's blog.
It was quite an interesting read.
At first, I wasn't sure if it was LISA Lisa - but with the discovery of many clues - such as the Kitsune, and the mentioning of me and the forum - I knew it was her.
Some parts upset me though.

It seems Lisa is also a person who hates my changing moods and my constant depression.
Much like Emily, so it seems.

I can't change who I am.
People hate me for who I am - but when I try to change who I am, it doesn't work.
It never fucking does.

I couldn't even keep up with my plan I had for when I started college this year.
I planned to keep myself to myself, sit alone all the time and never speak unless I had to.
(Fuck's sake, that WILL be my plan for next year and at Uni - I won't have Ash and Shelly)

Saying that, it's straying away from this plan that allowed me to befriend Ash and Shelly.
Hmmmm... I'm glad I did.

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Shelly nicked out of her A block lesson to sit on the stairs on 4th floor that lead up to the roof with me.
I was upset and I was doing my random crying - so she cuddled me, keeping a massive wodge of bog roll beside me so I could use it when I spurted.

I think some of the things I told her upset her though.
I really need to stop saying what I really think.
I think she appreciates the fact I'm honest, but...

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And when I returned home - I did FUCK ALL.
I don't know how I can waste away from 5PM to 12AM - but I manage it somehow!

I need to stop wasting my time.
I need to start updating blogs and completing games.

I'd like to be drawing, making comics and writing - but I don't think I can yet...

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I printed out a T-shirt transfer I made a while back today and mam ironed it onto a white shirt for me.
I've done it for Ashleigh - I've wrapped it up with her other two presents I've got her for her birthday on Friday.

Back in December, near enough - we joked about the "no bikes", "no scooters" and "no rollerskates" sign on the door of the Dundas Shopping Mall.
Wondered what a "no wheelchairs" sign would look like.

I went home that night and made this on Photoshop:



So that be what is on Ashleigh's shirt. :)
Lmao, it'll be funny if she wears it.
I suggested I put it on a shirt before, and she said she would do.

Now seems a good time to present it to her, no?

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And in other news - our shower is broken - thanks to my STUPID SLAG OF A MOTHER.
She's snapped the bastard shower cord - so now it won't even turn on.

SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG.

Now I have to have fucking baths.
Baths make me ANGRY.
I sit in the water and that gives me time to think.
The bath takes forever to run as well - and I always end up running it too hot.

When I think - I think about the wrong things. Things that upset me.
And I can't rinse my hair properly.

Baths make me feel dirtier than I did before I got in them.
When I see the water's changed once I've gotten out of it - I think that I've been laid in my own filth.
Thus, I feel dirty - and that upsets me and stresses me out even more.

Yep, I really fucking hate baths.

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Dixie currently feels:

 Neutral

 

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Blog #82

LIZZIE HIGGINS & Lung Sucking! 

 

 

An end to Friday boredom - I was so sick of sitting around for the hour on Friday mornings - I wandered into town.

I asked nana if I could have some extra money yesterday, because Ash and I had planned to go to Burger King. I only wanted about £3, but she gave me a £20 note.

 

So with this, I went to CEX.

When I bought Bully, I'd been looking for Resident Evil 4 on the Gamecube.

They didn't have it that day, but today they did. I bought it and wandered back to college.

 

Ash found me sat on the floor outside the Mac room - reading the Resi 4 manual.

Then I discovered that there was something missing - the 2nd disc.

I thought there was only the one, as it didn't have the double disc symbol, nor did the disc in the box have a number written on it.

But there was an empty disc space in the box and a big fuck off page in the manual about changing discs.

 

I texted Ian, asking him if he knew how many discs were in it.

He answered, saying he thought it was two.

 

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Danny and Michelle were sat beside us.

Michelle was off on a rant about some lass who'd added her on Facebook who she didn't know and how she's got in an argument with someone over who she was.

 

It was fucking piss - she talks PROPER fast, really really loud, and she doesn't stop to take a breath.

This lass was called LIZZIE HIGGINS - and she must've said her name about 30 times in 2 minutes.

 

It was always considerably louder than everything else she said as well.

 

"I don't know who LIZZIE HIGGINS is, why are you asking me about LIZZIE HIGGINS - all I asked you who LIZZIE HIGGINS is, but I'm all here and I don't know who LIZZIE HIGGINS is." - etc etc.

 

And then she went about 30 seconds without saying it, then continued off on the same - Ash and I were pissing ourselves.

I got to the point where I started to choke on my laugh. :)

 

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In Photography, we were working on our final images - the last lesson we have on them.

All I really needed to do was to straighten up the edges of the photos on the collage - and it was done.

 

Ash, Shelly and I put our work on the Photography drive and spent the rest of the lesson doing fuck all. :)

 

I'll post it on my blog somewhere when I can be arsed taking it off my memory stick. :)

 

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After the proper pointless waste of an hour in the Mac room - the three of us went into town.

 

I took HALF OF RESI 4 back to CEX.

I was stood at the fucking counter for about 10 minutes while the dozy gadges blundered about looking for the second disc.

They couldn't find it - so they gave me a membership card and my £12 refund.

 

This was helpful - I'd recently remembered it's Ian's birthday next Friday.

I went to Card Factory, bought a card for him and a coaster that says: 'World's Best Brother' on it. :)

 

I also went to Forbidden Planet - got him a Star Wars clone trooper action figure and a WWE superstars poster. This came in handy for bashing Ash on the head every few minutes. :)

 

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It was quite amusing - when I was in Card Factory, I told Ash and Shelly to go wait outside - the aisles are tiny, and Ash was 'causing immense havoc', as I politley put it. :)

I came back out with the card and the coaster and Shelly had a half-finished pasty.

 

I go: "Eee fucking hell - I'm gone for 5 minutes, come back and you're NOMMING AGAIN."

- Ironic, because I eat like 3 times as much as she does. :)

 

Ash and I went to Burger King while Shelly pottered off to Home Bargains. I gave her a quid and told me to get me some 'nighttime munchies'. I often want crisps and marshmallows at around 11PM. :)

 

Ash got a double Whopper and I got an XL bacon double.

We sat on the green benches outside - and I made my usual comment that the burger was bigger than Ash. :)

It's so funny watching her proper scoff something huge - she looks proper overpowered by her food. Lmfao.

 

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Back at college - we were sat on the wavy benches.

I'd kept my straw from BK, because I wanted to try out something Adam told me about with Ash.

 

One person puts the straw in their mouth and opens their lungs, clears them of all air, and the other person sucks the remaining air out of them. - Then they're supposed to make proper weird grunting sounds.

Ash and I could barely do it because Ash kept pissing herself.

 

Then she wouldn't attempt it again because we were proper sat infront of the entrance and it looks WEIRD.

So I dragged her to one of the little lifts and we stood underneath the staircase and tried again.

I got a proper mouthful of her spit. Lmfao.

 

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I was "working" in the LRC again for English.

In effect, I updated an old blog - then I spent like an hour on the Rammstein fansite - Herzelied - reading all the lyrics and translations.

 

It put me in a proper Rammstein mood - I must've listened to three and a half albums today.

 

I can only work on Media Studies and Photography sketchbook in the LRC.

Attempting to do English work is a dead loss - I just can't do it.

 

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I came out afterwards - did nothing but cuddle Ash and Shelly in my 15 minute break.

 

I don't think I'll get to see Ash in the Easter holidays - what with Denham being away in Newcastle for his operation. I may be able to go and see her at one point during the second week, I'll just have to hear it from her first.

 

I proper squeezed her ribs before she left - and kissed her on the cheek.

I shall miss teh Ash. Two weeks without teh awesome Ashness is intolerable.

 

Shelly was coming back to my nana's with me again, so she waited downstairs on the tables with some random lass while I went upstairs to hand in my Media Studies coursework.

 

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I spent about 10 minutes checking it all over - and as soon as Sarah came back from sodding off somewhere, I transferred it all onto her memory stick.

 

Ah, no more Media Studies coursework. It are done and dealt with.

 

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Shelly and I sat in the bus shelter cuddling and holding hands. It felt quite nice. I didn't care that people could see us who were sat in the park opposite or walking by.

 

I don't know - sometimes it depends.

There are times where if she leans in to kiss me, I'll be really embarrassed and feel proper self-concious about it.

Then there are times where I'd proper grab her and 'nom' on her face. :)

 

Oh bloody Ashleigh, I can't think of making out without thinking of 'LOL NOM KISS'.

 

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Nana made us fish fingers and spaghetti when we came in.

We drank shitloads of Iron Brew and I leant on Shelly's stomach while I played a few hours of Bully.

 

It's an even balance - spending time with someone I love, playing a game I love.

And I don't ignore her - I carry on talking to her, sometimes pausing it to turn around and give her a kiss.

 

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Nana and grandad went out to the Labour Club at around 8.

 

It was quite funny - as soon as I'd put the bolt on the door, I proper dived on Shelly and started taking her clothes off. :)

 

She was pretty overwhelmed - but I could see it turned her on. :)

 

I've discovered something else that I really enjoy - having my neck and my ears licked roughly. I feel so dominated - but it's nice. :D

 

Oh, and Shelly decided she'd give me something new that I've wanted for a while - anilingus. :)

(Jesus Christ that's a bitch of a word to spell. Why replace the A with an I?)

 

When she was giving me anal and fingering me at the same time - it was that pleasurable, I didn't even know I'd climaxed several times - I didn't feel it.

And then I got to a point where if she'd have continued, I'd have vomited. I asked her to stop, and I laid there for a while, attempting to compose.

 

I do believe that was a result of odd breathing patterns - I got proper light headed, then all I could taste was stomach acid and Iron Brew in my throat.

It's a good thing I'm so good at swallowing vomit.

 

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We went to bed quite early on.

I just wanted to cuddle up to her all night. :)

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Dixie currently feels:

 Depressed

 

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Blog #40

Problem ALMOST Solved

 

 

I bloody hate Mondays.

There's really no fucking point in going into college for just one sodding lesson.

One sodding HOUR, practically.

 

But either way.

Ash watched the trailer first draft on Saturday.

Shelly made out that she proper hated it, but she just didn't like the order of the clips.

Sarah watched it today and identified what the problem was - the speed.

It's currently far too slow to be a slasher horror. It's also a bit TOO revealing.

So yes, in this case - less IS more.

 

I shall be sorting this problem later.

 

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I bought myself an XL bacon double sandwich from Burger King and a pack of Kinder snack bars from B&M - got the 64 home, then sat on the sofa and chilled out, eating my nosh and watching Spongebob.

 

I got the urge to play Donkey Konga 2.

I finished off the whole of Chimp duet mode - then finished all but one song on Chimp beat-mix.

There's only ONE song I can't get gold DK on. It's PISSING ME OFF.

 

I returned to Resident Evil shortly after.

I have a save point just outside the first battle with Tyrant. I can't be arsed with him at the moment, he can taste my magnum later.

 

In other news, I've decided not to waste my life away with Neopets.

I'm not going on it again - to ever accomplish anything on that game, you have to dedicate at least 4 hours a day for two years.

Can't be arsed, to be honest.

 

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Shelly rang me later on. We talked for a few hours, then she got a phone call on the house phone.

Her nana's died - I feel so bad for her. She cried on her phone for about 10 minutes and nearly gave herself a panic attack. I had to calm her down as best as I could, trying to help her relax enough to be able to breathe normally again.

 

I know how that is. It's not easy being a manic depressive asthmatic. When one cries, one cannot breathe.

 

So it looks like I'm spending the day with Ash tomorrow.

...Even though I feel really fucking weird towards her at the moment.

 

She's on MSN, I've let her know about Shelly, and also that there's things I need to talk to her about.

I don't want to upset her though... It's about time she knew the truth about how I feel about her and how her hostility makes me feel...

 

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And I'm also in a dilemma - do I go to Southend... Do I miss off a few Photography lessons, miss seeing Ash and comforting Shelly, having to lie to Aunty Betty about how my life is going and share a room with my nana... Having to see my nana upset after her sister's funeral and leave grandad here on his own...

 

Or do I go to Southend to see Aunty Betty and Uncle Roy?

 

...Jesus Christ, talk about outweighing reasons.

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Dixie currently feels:

 Depressed

 

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Blog #12

BIG LOAD OF POINTLESS

 

 

Today's just been so fucking pointless there's nothing even worth commenting on.

 

Basically, I went to college for nothing - I only have D block today - and it was cancelled.

I went into the LRC with Lewis to do some more work on my coursework - only to be refused login seven times - and twice again on the 2nd PC I tried before I gave up.

 

I went into town with him afterwards for a wander around - I bought a XL Bacon Double meal from Burger King - put it in my backpack to eat when I got home - so it's made my bag go all funky inside. I'm airing it out at the moment - it'll be fine - I've had weirder things in there before. (Pig's heart, cough.)

 

Came home on the half 12 64A - went upstairs and played a combination of Guitar Hero World Tour and Guitar Hero III for about four hours.

 

Came online to Ashleigh and Adam - talked to Ash about our coursework - broke the news to her about needing to re-do the vomiting scene, but she said she doesn't mind.

 

That surprised me - but not as much as the second thing she said.

 

On the 14th, mam and dad are going away again - Shelly and Ash were going to both stay over - but Shelly's going away that same weekend. I didn't think Ash would want to stay here alone - but she does...

 

...Even with things like this she says to me, things she does for me - I still don't think she likes me much...

I don't really know what it'll take to make me believe she does either...

 

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Tomorrow I'm getting the vaccination against cervical cancer.

I'm absolutley shitting it.

 

I was told that I can be seen in a private room...

Ash said she'd come with me - she's going to get it as well - and she said she'd hold my hand...

 

...But I know I'm going to be overly pathetic, and I know I'll be embarrassed for Ash to see that...