Britney Spears @ MindSay

Help Bishop Save Britney



All Bishop needs is a little one on time with Britney and he'll get her off of that 5 bags of Cheeto's a day habit she's got and turn her into a top flight earner.

I learned today that Hannah Montana, aka Miley Cyrus, is not only still alive, but is also making a 3D movie. WHO APPROVED THIS?!!??!?!?! Havent people realized that the only reason she is famous is because billy ray cyrus was getting low on funds (which is why he was forced to be on dancing with the stars) so he decided to whore out his own daughter? She pops out sugary-sweet, teenybopper songs that make any self-respecting adult want to rip their own arms off just so that they can stick the bloody stumps into their eardrums. I do have to admit that I watch her show from time to time, but that was only started because my dorm roommate would watch it incessantly and now I watch it when there is really nothing else on (thats what happens when you have no life *bangs head on desk*). If I ever start singing one of her songs..please someone kill me..in the most horrible fashion imaginable. I will admit that when I heard miley's new song, start all over, on the radio I wanted to be disemboweled because I found it catchy and actually like it *bashes in face with baseball bat full of nails* (keep in mind I did not know who the artist was at the time)

I saw a disgusting snippet of her new video while I was watching tv with my 11-year-old sister (who adores hannah montana). It is a disgrace to america (not as much as george bush though). everything was red, white and blue...seriously..like..EVERYTHING. I can envision the american flag crying and then throwing up. her outfit is even red white and blue. The fact that she is trying to be something that she is not makes me the most ill. first thing I noticed: she is wearing bondage pants..red bondage pants...WTF?! She is a scene kid..scene kids need to die. Also, for those who havent quite mastered the art of discerning boy vs girl, all of the extra girls have bright pink somewhere on their body, but for the most part the pink is plastered on with almost no skin to be found. Hell, they might as well painted these poor girls pink. The most amusing part of her disheveled and tired choreography is the fact that she has taken the macarena, removed a couple moves (she of course had to get rid of the pelvic movements..disney owns her soul), threw in a different move (where she sticks her arms straight out to the side and bends over like she does every time disney channel executives come near her) and then proceeds to dance this little hand and arm dance with the bastard children of the village people: an astronaut, a scuba diver, a cop, and a cowboy. And to top it all off, miley cyrus' persona in the video is like the prom night dumpster baby of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilara, and Avril Lavigne. She has the shitty britney dance moves, which means that only her arms, hands and face really move. Her hairstyle is a blatant and shitty rip-off of christina aguilara's "dirrty" phase, and her fashion sense is the clothes avril lavigne rejected.

Someone needs to put a bullet through this girl's head before she winds up living in a trailer park with her 8 children, her fat, hairy, lazy husband, 3 watch dogs, and massive piles of cats. All the while her tits are scraping the ground while she wheels herself around in her extra large hoverround because she lost a leg to diabetes, and shes so fat she can store whole meals in her warm, moist fat rolls.

 

 

 

Cut that girl a fucking break.

 

I don't have enough hate in me to insult her, nor should

any of you. Get back to your own lives. 

 

 

I'm bound to stab myself in the eye with one of these:

 

I always say the wrong thing at funerals.  I never get it completely, or even close to right.  For instance, I might bend down, lean in toward the corpse, and say, "I never loved you.  I only hope you know how much."  I'm told that's not right.

 

Sometimes I feel bad for laughing at midgets, but then I remember that God wouldn't have created these magical, miniature humans with regular sized heads and arms if not for our amusement.

 

Why do the people on the new Tylenol commercials "love" making it so much?  Is there another employee who works underneath the conveyor belt on the production line whose sole duty is to give out killer hand jobs?  Ponder that next time you see the commercial, and get back to me.  (BTW, if you really want to know the answer, evidentally you can go to tylenol.com/promise.)

 

Did you ever notice that the older people get, the more like babies they become?  Their hair thins, or they go bald completely, they lose their teeth; therefore their meals must be pureed, they lose their continence; thus they require diapering, and they lose their mental faculties causing them to babble and drool.  It's kinda poetic that we go out in much the same way we came in.  Isn't life beautiful?

 

Did you hear that Britney Spears' 16 year old sister (Jamie Lynn Spears of "Zoey 101" fame) is pregnant!?  I guess it's really true when they say, "you can take the family out of the trailer park, but..."  Really, who can be shocked by this when you've got "Train Wreck Brit" giving out the sisterly advice?

 

I always try to go against the mainstream.  That's why I'm Pro-Global Warming.  I never liked Winter much anyway, and I think Christmas will be so much more festive wearing radiation suits.

 

If I had a dollar for every time someone said I was a worthless, no-talent whore, I'd be Britney Spears.

 

Sometimes late at night, I like to drive real slow with my lights off in a really bad neighborhood just to see how long it takes before the caps start popping.

 

It's fun to make your grandma think that there's something wrong with her hearing aid.  Just speak normally, then throw in a sentence or two where you just move your lips with no sound.  If you're really good, you can even break up individual words.  You know, like you do when your fucking with the dude at the drive thru window, or when your girlfriend starts bitching at you on your cell phone.  "I can't hear you, Honey.  You're breaking up."

 

More to Come...

Yahoo has released a list of popular search trends for the year.  Amazingly, each of the top 10 celebrities is one who had a crisis of some sort this year!  Check it out:



Meanwhile, here were the top news-related searches:



At least the news stories are all related to fairly important stories.  Meanwhile, are you guilty of searching for Britney and Paris?