Bobcat @ MindSay

We've all seen the scenario. Someone on our friend's list pours his / her heart out in a personal post.  Sometimes its a rant. A lot of times its a poem.  Either way this person has reached deep inside himself and tried to empty some part of his pain and anger onto his blog.  Most people make comments like, "I'm sorry you're going through this." or "I'm glad you are trying to work through your problem."  Then there are some of us who take out an imaginary pad, place others on a virtual couch and play counselor.  Some people are very good at this and their help is greatly appreciated. Other times not only is the advice unwarranted, it can be damn near intrusive!

 

There are many of us who are truly insightful to the point that it can be frightening or eerie. I've been told that I'm usually "dead-on" when it comes my insight and I'm sure many other people on Mindsay have been told the same thing.  The key is to know how to utilize this insight or gift. Here are some things to consider when the feeling to analyze someone becomes overwhelming:

 

1) MOST PEOPLE WHO WANT OR NEED ADVICE WILL ASK FOR IT. I truly believe it is up a person (if they are an adult) to ask for advice if they want it.  Sometimes, a person just isn't ready to hear what you have to say to them at the moment. Sometimes it takes a while for someone to process their pain. Heck, it took me a year to get over a three month relationship once.  I bitched, moaned and cried for an entire year.  My best guy friend (who listens like a woman) would just let me bitch, moan and cry on the phone. He knew I had to let it run it's course.  To this day, when I rant and rave to him, he just lets me get it all out. Then I usually hang up the phone and fall asleep!   A truly insightful person knows when to let someone process things on their own. Also, when you wait for them to ask you for your advice, it saves you the trouble of trying to analyze them.  PEOPLE DON'T LIKE BEING ANALYZED WITHOUT GIVING THEIR PERMISSION.

 

2) VALIDATE HOW SOMEONE FEELS BEFORE YOU TELL THEM WHAT THEIR PROBLEM IS AND WHAT THEY SHOULD DO.  Who doesn't know what it's like to have a broken heart, or to feel inadequate?  Telling someone to get over it doesn't quite cut it. Obviously when people feel they are at a low point, they feel stupid for feeling low.  Validate first and THEN give the advice. 

 

3) KNOW WHEN TO BUTT OUT!  I have a person on my friend's list who writes poems about very personal things. They (I'm using 'they' on purpose) write to work out past hurts and current frustrations like many of us do.  However, any truly insightful person who knows my friend, would know that "they" are a very private person.  Why go into an intrusive analysis of private person on their blog? Two things you don't want to butt into are a person's love life or a person's family life.

 

4) I can't stress this enough. This may be redundant, but SOMETIMES PEOPLE BLOG JUST TO RANT OR GET THINGS OFF THEIR CHESTS. IT'S NOT ALWAYS AN INVITATION TO COUNSEL THEM. Just read the post and lock it into your psyche. If the writer comes to you for advice, then you can unleash all of that brilliant insight. Until then, BUTT OUT!

I hope this can brighten up somebody's day.

 

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

 

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

 

3. The only reason anyone may ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

 

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone.

 

5. Every night SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

 

6. You mean the world to someone.

 

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

 

 

8. You are pecial AND nique

 

9. Someone that you don't even know exists cares about you.

 

 

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. (this is so true!)

 

11. When you think the world's turned it's back on you, take a look, you may have turned your back on the world.

 

12.  When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it. But, if you believe in yourself  probably -- sooner or later, you'll get it. (Positive thinking works :D)

 

13. Always remember the compliments you've received. Forget about the rude remarks.

 

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; You will feel much better when they know.