Blood @ MindSay

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Before I went to sleep last night, I laid awake in bed for a few hours and for the first time in several weeks, possibly even months - I cut myself again.
That's not to say I've gone all this time without actually self-harming, for I've hit my head on things, punched myself, burned myself - hurt myself in ways that didn't involve a blade and a cut.
I cut both of my arms, starting with the left and going up from the wrist to the shoulder - then on the right from the shoulder down to the wrist.

I had to tell Shelly, and I couldn't tell her until I'd dragged her up to the 4th floor to sit on the stairs. We ended up getting worked up over it, sort of bordering-on arguing, but not quite. Even Shelly could see I'd hurt myself a lot more than usual.

So I'm back to the paranoia that follows - the constant long sleeves, the hiding yourself with the towel after a shower and the having to hold onto sleeve cuffs incase they ride up.
Sigh.

I keep thinking about Sarah's one-to-one yesterday.
She suggested I go back to see Dianne. But I was Dianne's longest client. We're only supposed to go for 8 weeks, I was there for 20. I don't want to go back because I'll feel selfish, like a liability who's abusing the system... Sigh.

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Photography was a waste of time.
Paul made us all go out into the college grounds and the areas around it and take photos.
The area is bland and uninspiring - I got a few reasonable photos, but most are pretty shit - and none of them will even fit into any of my chosen categories. They're just misc. crap.

Although I am feeling a little better about my sketchbook - the amount of work I did over the holidays will indeed account towards filling the pages.

Still getting used to the new job.
Old routines from old internships have to be relearned.
Memory and concentration have to trained again, to completely new levels.
And I have to start memorizing the name of all my 30 coworkers..

Also new is the 6th movie in the SAW franchise.
It will be out on October 23rd.
The game comes full circle.
Will it be the last SAW movie?

Also, don't forget the annual SAW blood drive.
You can try to find a location near you here.
I believe today they were at the Sibley Memorial Hospital in Washington DC.
I can't give blood anymore, my job is considered high risk.

asmin is a type of birth control pill marketed and manufactured by the German company Bayer Schering Pharma AG.  Yasmin first entered the American market in 2001 and has generated close to 500 million in sales to date.

 

Yasmin is an oral contraceptive and is a synthetic spironolactone analogue known in the medical world as drospirenone. 

 

Drospirenone binds to the progesterone receptor, the resulting complex becomes activated and binds to specific sites on DNA. This leads to an increased difficulty of sperm entry into the uterus and implantation.

 

When the Yasmin TV advertizing started the FDA took issue with the television commercials which featured women discussing the benefits of the product.  The ads had a music score and dialog between the actors. 

 

The FDA issued a letter to Bayer AG and strongly suggested that they talk about the numerous side effects.  The FDA felt that the ads were misleading These claims are misleading because they suggest that Yasmin's "different kind of hormone" offers unique "chemistry" benefits and that this difference contributes to the high rate of drug efficacy.

 

Bayer AG listened to the FDA and the television ads changed.

The ads now feature an actor talking directly to the end user, and mention many adverse side effects such as heart attacks, thoughts of suicide, cramping, and severe changes in mood.  Other known side effects of Yasmin include the following: Thromboembolism, stroke, hepatic neoplasia, gallbladder disease, pulmonary embolism, DVT, tender breasts and hypertension.

 

These risk factors increase for women who smoke cigarettes and also for those that are other types of medication. Contact your doctor before using Yasmin to determine if there are risks with using Yasmin and your current medications.

 

Legal world takes note of Yasmin. We have noted that during our investigation of Yasmin birth control pills that there are many legal type websites that are currently seeking Yasmin users who has suffered the above listed side effects. It appears that lawyers and attorneys are gathering up as much information for a potential class action lawsuit for these victims.

Yasmin Pulmonary embolism

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It's been officially EIGHT WEEKS since I shared a Saturday with Ash AND Shelly.
It's been far too long. I felt so bad for those two - they'd both seen me separatley, but neither of them had actually seen each other. They gave each other lots of hugs - but I got my fair share too. :)

Shelly also seemed to be encouraging me to torment Ash - she pinned her to the bed at one point and tugged her shirt up and we double-blarted her. That's a first. :)

We couldn't actually do our 3-man band on Guitar Hero though, because dozy Ash had forgotten her Wii remote.
I left those two playing pro-face offs against each other, because Shelly is determined to beat Ash now she thinks she's improved enough.

I went across the field to Asif's shop and bought myself some Cherry Coke.
The SKANKS - it's 93p now!
I remember when it was 75p... Then it went to 85p... Now it's 93p! Seriously... Why?
I also bought a big bar of Aero for us all to share and a few gumballs from the 10p machines near the door.

When I was blundering about downstairs getting out the glasses so Ash and Shelly could have a drink - the Pyrex jug decided it would commit suicide, so it leapt out of the cupboard and smashed at my feet.
I yelled all the swear words I knew. I didn't even TOUCH it! It just FELL!

I got shards of glass stuck in my hands picking up all the broken bits, and when I went upstairs to tell Ash and Shelly, they were too absorbed in GH to notice my pain.
That was the same when I burned my wrist on the oven too - they were bloody playing GH then as well!

I hoovered up all the shitty little bits that I couldn't pick up - then went back upstairs to watch them still battling it out.
I chose the songs for them - mainly ones I liked, but they also happened to be rather hard ones.
Shelly and Ash seem evenly matched to me now. :/

Then I wanted to play against Shelly - Hard VS Expert.
Ash is so weird, no matter what you're playing - she'll watch INTENTLY.
We did TTFAF, and I was beyond hyper.
I was TAPPING. I was tapping WELL! I didn't fuck it up anywhere near as much as I thought I would.

My top score is 79% when I'm not hyper - and I managed 74% absolutley buzzing off my head on sugar. :)
Then I took to breaking off pieces of Aero and feeding them to Ash and Shelly. I gave them most of it. :)

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Ash suggested I try and get further on a game from the wallet, and for some reason, we decided on Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee.
I was proper stuck in Paramonia outskirts, but oddly enough, I got a bit more motivated when I had an audience - and they both helped me with a couple of the puzzles.
I got into the temple and lit two of the flint locks. One room was reasonably hard and the other was fairly simple. Then I got stuck in one and we went downstairs to eat.

I made us toad in the hole with chips. Ash and I had chicken gravy and Shelly had beef gravy - I don't know what she has against chicken gravy - it's the best one. :)

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Our last few hours were spent cuddling up to each other on my bed and making stuff with my modelling clay.
Ash seemed to like the red, and she made a few random things with it. I don't know what it is with her - but even with dough, everything she makes that's artistic, you can just TELL she's done it. It has the Ash touch to it. :)

Then I embarrassed her unintentionally by telling her she'd bled through her trousers and it'd gone on my duvet cover. It wasn't a lot, just a little patch where she'd been laid. She seemed sad about it - but I cuddled her and told her not to worry about it.
Naturally, Shelly and I just had to get in a few friendly digs about it though. :)
It was funny in its own way.

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Ash wearing my jacket.
It just doesn't look right on her, lmfao. I'm the one who insisted she have her hair like that while I take the photo. :)



Ash's dough cat.



And Ash's rather creepy dough head. :)

I hope we get back into our Saturday routines again soon. They're a lot of fun.
I just can't wait for the weekend after my birthday - Friday and Saturday night with Adam, Ash and Shelly - Saturday night will be without the parents, and it'll be the return of the re-vamped dare cards game! :D