Block @ MindSay 
mindsay
consider this the beginning of the end
consider me long gone and moved on
remember cruel words never solve anything.
remember excuses are like ass holes
everyone has them and only shit comes out of it.
remember the good times
remember how each lashing out tainted that memory.
remember a heart full of love,
remember each fight that crack it and drained a little more out.
remember the day we met and
remember the day you lost the best thing that ever happened to you.
consider this good bye.
The day I die and forever to belong to the heavens and no one else.
consider yourself my first.
the first i ever truly loved
the first i ever wanted a future with
the first i wanted to have children with
the first to fill my heart completely with love
the first to take it all away slowly
and the last person i will ever be with.
my bruised soul belongs to the BIG MAN
my crushed heart is now only flesh.
i will move on the my next life
and start a new adventure watching down on those i love.
IRS fixed the mix-up and we don't owe anything! H&R Block didn't help at all and in fact they were rude, never got back to me, and we extremely worthless.
DON"T BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL PROVIDE AUDIT SUPPORT.
I was told that they would get back to me in four business days and that never happened. When explaining my situation on the phone the lady would put me on hold and I could hear her laughing with other people in the background. Whenever I asked her what I was holding for she would snap, "for me to process your request." There was no conclusion, no help, no support, they did absolutly nothing for me.
However, my old company knew what was wrong and sent me the information that I needed to fix it. So after waiting a week for H&R Block the whole situation ended up taking two phone calls: one to my old company and one to the IRS and everything was cleared. The IRS was much more helpfull than H&R Block (after you got through all of the automated messages in order to talk to a real person). Good luck to you all with your last minute taxes!
A Senseless World
by Elektra
-------------------------------------------------------------
Staying busy
Always doing
Never stopping
No time to breathe
But nothing gets done
It’s all useless, mindless
Nonsense
No point at all but to
Look productive
Successful
The busier we are
The less we think
Of truly important (scary) things
The less we suffer
As Tylenol claims
“One more step to
A painless world.”
Is that really what we want?
What we’re striving for?
What is life
Without pain?
Can we know happiness
Without knowing sadness?
Joy without disappointment?
Love without hate?
We spend so much (?all our?) time
Trying to lighten
Uncomfortable things
We pump ourselves full
Staying medicated
Busy, untouched
Comfortable
Do we not realize that
By restricting our senses
We are willfully submitting ourselves
To death?
If you prevent pain enough times
What will you be able to feel?
What is left
But a mundane, benign world?
There is a difference between
Not feeling any discomfort
And lessening severe pain
Temporarily
I’m not saying there isn’t
But what are we striving for?
When you get a cold,
What do you do?
Chicken soup, aspirin, extra sleep?
Do you ever just have the cold?
Take nothing
See it thru
Just have it?
Why?
Be honest.
The reasons apply to
Every aspect of our lives
We’re so afraid of experiencing
Something negative
Of not being able to
Handle something
That we do anything
And everything we can
To avoid it
But what are we doing
In the process?
Deadening our senses
Preventing true (honest) life
We say we accept
Imperfection
Failure
Weaknesses
But we don’t.
So we destroy our access
To the proof of our
Mistakes
We do what we have to
In order to appear as far from it
As possible.
But we are running so fast
We do not realize that
We’re going the wrong direction
Until suddenly we’re years older
And then we discover that
We’re three more steps behind
From where we started
And the more we run,
The harder we try to escape
And fight to get away
The farther back we fall
And the greater the punishment
We have to pay.
Is that really what we want?
A senseless world...
With the idea of marrying the man I love I first must overcome my first road block on that pather of happiness. That road block: my mom.
I've already have an issue on trying to figure out what to say to her to tell her that I want to marry this man. Then, yesterday we had a talk. She doesn't think that we will last because she knows me and knows what bothers me and what will get on my nerves because she raised me. But she only brought up stuff that bothered her about him, like the way he eats, but not stuff that bothered me.
Then, and this drove me nuts, she said we weren't ment to be because I never called her saying that he takes my breath away and that I want to give myself up to him even before marrage. If only she knew, that I've been trying to fight against my physical feelings for him because I was afraid she would flip out if she found out even what we do now together( don't worry we are still holding back sex until we are married). I've just never been big on talking about this stuff with her for fear of not being her perfect daughter. I always get mixed messages from her, I don't know if she wants me to be little miss perfect or if she wants me to be the rebel like she was when she was my age.
I also love the "I don't want you to miss the true guy you are ment to be with because this boy is convenient". Anyone who reads this would probably notice that he's not convenient, we really have to work to get to gether and to be sure that we are keeping each other happy. She also wanted me to get out of looking at the church guys and date someone outside of church and bring some guy to church. Yeah, there is nothing wrong with doing something like that, but why do that when the guy I love is there. What is so wrong with dating someone in the church?
Actually she is the only person who really seems to be agains me and my guy being together, everyone else, though they don't know that we are thinking about getting married in october, seems to think that we are good for each other. I think we are good together and I thank God for allowing me to have such and experiance with him and I pray that we will get to spend the rest of our lives together so we can experiance a lot more.
Everyone keeps asking me, "What was China like?" and this is the perfect opportunity for me to honestly answer that question. But I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to write this great manifesto on my year in China and I don't think you all want to be bored with that anyway, so bear with me as I slowly let myself return to the blogging world!
I've got several questions to answer here:
"What was China like?"
"What are going to do now?"
"What are you up to?"
So let's see if I can do that!
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