Bliss @ MindSay 
love
Allright. I just finished my last test for today. I bombed them horribly. I’m so upset with myself. The worst thing is that I have two more on Thursday. These are the hard ones I’m actually worried about. It’s starting to get annoying how everyone who sees me tells me I need to get more sleep. Even the Colonial said it today.
Here is the worst part. I have to discipline a cadet tomorrow. He’s a good guy and I don’t want to but he didn’t do what he knew he was supposed to. The person I told to make sure he got it done didn’t make him do it so I have to discipline him to. Now this means that I obviously screwed up somewhere along the way by not making it apparent that I was serious and needed him to get the job done so I’m taking whatever punishment they get as well. I feel like an asshole.
All this though is not even the weirdest thing. The weirdest thing is that I can’t stop thinking about this girl. I walk out of that test tonight and I know that I should be pissed and try and go blow off steam. In stead all I can think about is getting back to my computer to look at her picture on my background. I go to get food but rush back to see if she’s back. It’s like I’m on crack! Like seriously, I need to focus on my work but I’d rather talk to her any day any time. Not the hopeless romantic way but like that very addictive video game you just can’t put down but twice as cool.
Do you know that feeling where you think you like what you have until someone else describes how great it is and you go back and realize you scored hard core? That’s the feeling I got the other day talking with a friend. It just made me really appreciate how cool this chick really is and how much I value about her thoughts and opinions.
Well getting back to studying… I’m just counting down the days until I can see her again. It’s going to be sweet. I’m ready to knock out these last two tests and this last project. See you on the other side of bliss… Oh yes it’s worth it…
No one wants to read sappy things about another person's boyfriend or girlfriend... but fuck it, im gonna write it down anyway.
She does things for me that catch me so off guard, i almost dont know how to react to them. A few weeks ago, when we first started "officially" dating, she set up a HUGE surprise for me- she made reservations for us at my favorite restaurant of all time (which isn't cheap to eat at either), and she told them to change the napkins to my favorite shade of "toxic green". Unfortunately... i didn't go. She didn't tell me that she made plans, but she insisted that i come see her at work at a certain time... on that time, i had made plans to go see a friend before she left for college. When i found out, i felt like a TOTAL ass. She tried so hard to impress me and make me feel good, and i didn't go through with it. But here's the stunning part- she didn't make a big deal out of it at all, she said (and meant) that it was ok, and she understood i had other things to do. I'm sorry, but i have yet to find even the best of friends that wouldn't make a big stink out of a deal like that.
When we first started seeing eachother, she used to always wear a locket around her neck- a small, silver, heart-shaped locket that she ALWAYS had with her at all times. It was a locket that her grandmother gave her when she was little, and no one had ever opened it... ever. She never let anyone touch it, let alone have it leave her possession. So what does she do? She dries out the rose petals from the flowers i gave her the day i asked her out... then puts them in a small box... lays the locket on top... and gives it to me.
She said it represented her heart, and that she wanted me to have it. I was on the verge of tears when she said that to me, she gave me something so incredibly important and irreplaceable... because she loved me. If any of you have followed me long enough, you know that i absolutely hate to receive anything of value or worth and not give in return- it just doesn't feel right.
Tonight, while i was at work, i got a text asking me about my favorite candy... i put two and two together and knew she was planning on something, i had plans to see her on wednesday so i thought she may surprise me with that... WRONG.
She was just leaving her Powercore training/workout when i first called her, and i talked to her for nearly half an hour on the phone walking around the mall. At one point, it got really fuzzy and distorted, i thought she got out of her car and went inside or something. I thought nothing of it and kept walking... out of nowhere, she asked, "where are you right now?" in her usual curious voice. I told her i was on my way back to the store, and she hung up. Naturally, i did the classic "wtf?" face looking at my phone. When i looked up, she was right in front of me smiling ear to ear. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a warm hug and an inviting kiss, she seemed so incredibly happy to see me!
I sat and talked to her for about 15 minutes, then i headed upstairs to brush my teeth and walk back downstairs. Once i got done, i walked back downstairs and said goodbye... i told her i was a little tired and i missed her, i couldn't wait for wednesday, i love you, so on and so forth. The rest of the night dragged on, and finally it was time to leave at 10pm. As i punched out, i went to pick up my coat... and it felt like there was a lead weight in it. I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong- until i turned the coat around. She found her way to my coat on the hanger, stuffed the pocket closest to the wall with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and left me a card with a big heart on it. Talk about an instant picker-upper and heart warmer, right?
The card had a big, smiling face on the front, which read "You fill me up with smiles..." and on the inside, it said "And i'm not talking regular-sized ones, im talking JUMBO!!!" (kind of corny, but i loved it.) She wrote on the inside, "Hey Hun, I saw this card and instantly thought of you! I love you! Dont get sick eating all the candy!" Of course, she signed it with a heart with "always" written in the middle... instant heart melter.
Most people would look at this and say "she brought you candy, big deal.", but it's much more than that. She planned it out, and made an effort to brighten my night. She could have just given it to me and walked out... but no, she found a way to make it absolutely adorable and memorable.
After i found the candy, i called her to thank her... and found myself dumbfounded- just like i mentioned earlier. I couldn't find a way to tell her how much that meant to me and how happy she made me, so i struggled for a few seconds then finally got it out. The kicker- she told me that she always feels loved when she is with me, and that she absolutely loves being around me. Whenever i see her, i know for a fact she means it- she smiles big and hugs me tightly, she always gives me little kisses when we're close, and all the cute little things she does to show affection that most people would take for granted... i dunno how i got so unimaginably lucky, but this girl is the best thing that has ever happened to me... and i mean that. There are a million other things i could go on and talk about that she's done... but i think i've made my point.
I truly, honestly love this girl with every little strand of DNA that i have... she constantly makes me feel loved, wanted, and appreciated- nothing i ever do goes unnoticed with her. She's selfless, caring, and is as loving as could be- and i wouldn't trade the world for her... not on my life.
~O~
Energy wisps, from the essence of you...
...swirling, entwining, and dancing in mine,
release the sweetest of truths to the air,
A truth born of innocence so divine.
Stay in my presence for just one more life...
...soaring, unwinding, and building this love,
merging these powers of Source into one.
Then join me in heavenly bliss above.
oh i can tell....blogging is going to take a back seat for summer.
yesterday abs and i weeded the front yard, cleaned the fountain/birdbath, moved the calla lilies to a better spot and power washed cracks in eaves to eliminate spider and wasp nests. and then i still had time to make thai chicken with eggplant, basil, and peanut sauce. and we ate outside while the swallows dove after early evening flying things.
and a dragon fly landed on the table. that's got to be a goodluck sign right?
this is one of the most perfectly sublime springs on history. today after i finish with clients I will go canoeing.
Go Life !!
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