Blind @ MindSay

So, last night I dreamt I was blind. Or rather, I went blind. It was incredibly disturbing.
Everything was black, it was like living life with my eyes closed.
Anyway, I don't remember how I became "blind," but I remember I was really upset about it. And I was out at the mall and I somehow ran into Ken (someone from school) and I was like "Ken, have you always been blind?" and he was like "No, just for 10 years, why?" then I started crying and was like "Because I just became blind!"
After that the dream skipped a bit and I did something or other and I could see again, then my vision faded out to blurry black and white, and then I was blind again.

Then I woke up.

Just exactly how do you say that you are really interested in someone? How do you sit there and hear them describe people that interest them enough for a relationship and know all those things describe you? How do you listen and still sit and stay quiet?

I did that today. I heard you describe people you really wanted to get to know. I sat there with a virtual smile and wondered how you could describe them to me and not realize that I was the one that fit that description..and you don't have to pay to get to contact me. And yet...I can't actually say anything.

I've tried joking about us getting together. You get uncomfortable and start saying it's not plausible. And yet the person you are looking for fits my description. You even know that in most ways I fit what you are looking for. And yet somehow...you don't see that I exist in that way.

It hurts. It hurts to want to be there for you. It hurts to see that you seem so blind to my existence. It hurts because the more I deal with you the more I wish you saw me in that light. Sometimes it hurts enough that I don't want to deal with you anymore. And yet..like a moth to the flame, here I am.

What do I need to do to get you to see me?

DAY 4: The world is Curved!

Seriously, and I swear I'm not crazy or hallucinating, though by the dictionary definition... "False or distorted perception of objects... with a compelling sense of their reality..." I guess I am. But I'm going to keep this entry to a minimum, and I just want to say that flat surfaces... at least the ones way below me like floors and sidewalks, and sometimes ceilings, all seem to have a gentle curve away from me. I think it's because I can't pick up the gradiations of shading that normally tell us the shape of something, but still, ti's pretty weird... it's like I'm walking around in a bowl. Has this happened to me before and I just didn't notice? Has this happened to any of you? Just curious.

I'm blind! I'm deaf! I wanna be a Ref!

I'm blind! I'm deaf! I wanna be a Ref!

 

Now that I am only furious, not livid, I can post.

 

If I find Matthew Breeze in a dark alley, somebody might find him soon thereafter floating facedown in a river!