Bits @ MindSay 
Yay! Thanks to my semi retired Daddy, I am making some money this week!
My hands are going to look like shit by the end of next Tuesday but by Bridget, I am going to have some ready cash!:D And not have to go to the bank to pull it!
My Daddy is a machinest. When I was younger his shop use to be small engines/machining and as I got older, he slowly phazed out the small engines because he couldn't lift the engines (lawn mower, dirt bikes/motor bikes, chain saws, tillers, and other things with small engines) the way he should because of his knees.
The last year or so my Daddy's buisness has picked up. He has never ran it the way he should have but that is a whole different story there. Well this week he picked up two BIG sharpening jobs (which is his bread and butter) from two different manufacturing companies. One that makes the expandable ladders for Fire Engine Trucks (I got to see the CO Springs Finished Truck in pictures before it was revealed in CO a few years back) and another company that I have no clue what they do. And at the same time he picked up some more crap for a HUGE on going job for a company that makes various agures. Well since the last job is on going, he needs the sharpening jobs out of the shop ASAP and he has been bugging me for a few years off and on to apprentice under him and maybe take over the family buisness. I just have no real want to do that but working for him occasionally is okay!
And that is exactly what I am doing this week and some of next week. Yesterday, I helped clean up his shop and got all the metal shavings swept up and out and then I learned how to sharpen drill bits. My Daddy didn't just set the grinder up but showed me how to do that and then showed me how to sharpen bits. It is hardern then it looks but it is a simple job if that makes since. Today, I am finishing out drill bits and then I am being moved to another grinder where I will be shown how to set that one up and then shown how to grind down the shafts for the argures to the proper deminsion.
My Dad isn't happy that I have to leave early today to get cleaned up and put "Mom" clothes on but he also understands that my kids will come first over any job be it for him or someone else. And I am only working a few hours on Friday also because Randy has a full day off. And we have to go pick some things up from the County Sheriff Department (I'll tell you about that later)
I am just happy that Bridget is with me all this week and next week to help me work with this metal! I am very happy to get out of hte house even if it is down to my folks' place to work for my Dad!
There's a contradiction to this in that bad free verse is often more painful than bad rhyming poetry, but if it's honest it's got a good start. I wrote this one on the bus. I kinda hope the person it's about never reads it.
All the While
Who would have thought
all these years
the basis for our friendship
was a mutual
secret
attraction
bound with guilt
and doubt
and insecurity
about the other's (feelings.)
All the while,
we sat across sipping coffee,
each wanting to jump
the other's bones.
Convenient,
years later,
I gave up and you found him.
I'm glad for that but
now was hardly the time
to shovel onto me
your share
of the guilt.
Keep on rockin'
-Scotto
Well.. Im back again :) I guess there is loads of things i could talk about considering i haven't updated in like 2 years or something like that. But I don't really want to spend most of my update moaning about the bad stuff and I don't really think i have many good times to talk about.. So I think i'll just talk about my life in general. Not that many people want to know probably lol, but I suppose it's a good way of reflecting on my life. Well I'm no longer at school. overall i did pretty good with my exams although i fucked about way too much than i should have but that's trial and error i guess. Oh, and also im just finishing my childcare course at Barnsley college.. it's fucking shit honestly. Wish i never went there, but i met a brillant friend out of it so it's not all bad. Thats another thing, all my old friends i don't really see anymore. On the odd occasion i do because its nice to be back with them and see what they are doing after 2 years of not spending every day with them like i did wen i was at school. Sometimes I kinda wish i was the person i was 2 years ago. Then sometimes I dont. I dont really know to be honest i guess i was always out with friends being crazy and spontaneous and now it's more.. quiet lol. Not a bad quiet.. Just quiet. Sometimes I just like to be at home with my girlfriend (Yes that's right i said girlfriend) and just watch tv and talk but other times i just like to go completely crazy and be free and just me and I don't really have much time to be like that anymore.. My life seems to revolve around Kasy, arguing, college, exams, assignments, placements, family and this computer of mine. It's not a bad thing i know, im very blessed just sometimes i'd like to be more out there and experiencing things I should at my age. Although i guess i kinda experienced that already though lol. I get my results back from college in a month or so and then i really am free but not for long. Im already applying for jobs :| Just feels like my life is moving waaay to fast for me and im just waiting to catch up. Im sure i will. I hope i will... I've had some real trouble with my girlfriend over the past two years also. I know she loves me.. it's just she really doesn't show it with the things she does and it hurts me. She cheated on me about 3 times now. I don't really understand the reasoning in it and im not sure whether i want to really know. Lying, thats another thing she feels the need to do yet she says she still cares and loves me. I don't know what to do. And I know you probably think I've done it to her and maybe she thinks that.. But i haven't :/ i never could... Not to her... She really is my life and this is just something i have to cope with if i really wanna be with her. I really wish i didn't have to though. Also it was with my friend twice and some guy another time.. when i thought she was gay :/.. It's weird you know.. shes laying there right now and when i look at her i dont see the sort of person that could do that to me.. But i know she has and it just kills me. Im expecting it to happen again whether it happens or not is another thing. I just wanna protect her from all the evil things in this fucked up world and I wanna make her happy but it's hard when she does those things to me.. Maybe it's her way of saying i should just go? I really don't know.. I don't really understand her and thats such a really sad thing to say.. :( Do you how hard it is to devote yourself to someone when all your expecting from them is just more heartbreak? It's like im getting myself prepared and i hate myself for doing that because when we are together most the time it's great but it's when im away i just cant trust her 100% fully... I mean it's not like nothing ever changed when she did it.. I always loved her and she never even changed or acted different i would never have been able to guess what she secretly was doing.to me. I guess im a very tolerate person, but the truth is i couldnt cope without her...and i don't think she would either. It's a lose lose situation i guess. It's like when im there she just completely unappreciates me and the lies just tumble out of her mouth just as easy as when she says she loves me. And i give her some like stability so she can just fuck things up and have her fun cos she knows i wouldn't really go. But if I did go.. I'm scared for her safety and her future.. I know she doesnt have it easy but doesn't mean she should hurt me like she does. Enough about that... My 18th birthday soon. Not quite sure what im going to do about it but it's gotta be big and outrageous i think but also moderate at the same time dont ask me how i intend to do that though heh. Well im gunna go get some breakfast and clean up and i'll post an update later on.. so i guess its hello again mindsay.
I currently live with one roommate in a two-bedroom apartment.
The apartment is one of six in a building planted amidst a neighborhood
tucked in just enough to blanket the fact that a city is only blocks
away. Runners, cyclists, dogwalkers and playing children are as
common a sight as falling leaves are to autumn. I'm happy to call
it home.
In our apartment complex, we have an eclectic mix of tenants, most of
whom I've only met in passing. One couple, a touch past
middle-aged, has definitely been around longer than the annual flurry
of college students that come and go like the seasons. They pride
themselves as our unofficial building managers. The woman has a
passion for gardening, lining our stairs with beautiful flowers and
tending to them throughout the summer months. She also loves to
decorate the building to celebrate every holiday.
I remembered that this morning as I was leaving for work, ascending the stairs from our ground floor habitat to exit by the main door. I
looked up at the morning light coming through the glass and then it
came into view. Ah! My heart did a backflip in my
chest. I spied a silhouette against the daylight.
A monster.
Our neighbor tapes the same paper Frankenstein to our door each year to celebrate Halloween. It startles me every day I climb the stairs
because instinctively I think there's someone standing at the door
peering inside.
If one views this Frankenstein from the front, strangely enough, is
much less frightening, at least in the spooky sense of frightfulness. He's probably older than I am judging by the
yellowing Scotch tape holding his original stitches together. The
poor creature is already assembled from assorted body parts, and now
all that is keeping him together is a product from 3M! Not scary,
but rather sad in a pathetic way.
This got my mind churning as I made my way to work. We all like
to think that we are unique individuals, but aren't we alot like old
Frank - assembled bits and pieces from a wide variety of sources,
hopefully greater than the sum of our parts? Are we not collages
of our assorted experiences? I think it is true that we are
unique, but only as far as our experiences are unique and shape us all
in unique ways. That said, though our materials may differ, if we are all collages then by nature we all have that in common.
I also thought it quite strange that I would consistently be alarmed by a Frankenstein monster made of paper facing away from me.
One might argue that my mind itself is a collage.
Now that's scary!