Bill @ MindSay

Since it's been awhile since I've been here and I have no one specific item to share at present, I will take this opportunity to just expunge on a few thoughts before the weekend.

Tomorrow is my 33rd birthday. Seriously (and I say this every year), it really doesn't feel like it. Aside from the normal social expectancies that most people assume will occur in their lives by this age (ie; marriage, kids, house, inability to smile), I have avoided the personal interest traps that many willingly dive into by this age. Most people by this age it seems are all too willing to give up what they were once so passionate about in order to blend into the herd more easily. Why bother attempting to stand out when you can buy a bag filled with Affliction t-shirts and learn to like Bon Jovi and Dancing With The Stars? Pass. I've long since embraced my personal interests and nerd-isms with no slowing down. Though it may not net me that kind of life others desire until they actually acquire it, I still feel I'll get more out of watching Afro Samurai and Frisky Dingo. All I seem to share with married people in my age group at this point is the lack of intimacy (at present), but not of my own volition, I assure you.

As a birthday present to self, I went to the Chicago Theatre to see Speaker Series 2009 with Bill Maher and Ann Coulter. Being that this is Chicago, the crowd heavily leaned left but there were Ann Coulter fans to be found. Overall, it was an excellent experience and, for me, a chance to see Bill Maher live as I am a fan. At one point, Ann Coulter took it upon herself to refer to the entire crowd as "a room full of idiots". Prior to this, she made a point to state how she does not like to judge people for their personal lives and decisions. Interesting how this woman thinks one thing, does the other and deludes herself into justification in her own head. In a way, I'm sort of jealous that she can be so delusional and live in her own head the way she does.

As for this weekend, I have some plans in the works of sorts. Actually, it's back down to the theatre district to see "A Bronx Tale" at the Cadillac Palace. It's kind of weird to me that I feel like I'm becoming somewhat of a theater fan, but I do like the change of pace from movies and the like.

So happy to hear Obama will lift the ban on stem cell research Monday! It's nice to know we now have a president who believes in science and reason, equality for everyone, healthcare etc..... and doesn't have a religious agenda.

George W. screwed us in so many ways, too numerous to count. We will be a long time digging out of the hole he put us in. He took us from a 2 trillion dollar surplus to a 2 trillion dollar deficit, took away many of our environmental protections and erased the line that separates church and state and started 2 wars which have cost the lives of thousands of servicemen and over one million Iraqi's and Afgani's.

Hopefully now the constitution and bill of rights will once again reign over this country. Maybe the world will once again respect us.

I wish the best for our President Barak Obama, and I hope he will SUCCEED in his mission to restore the economy, bring about equal rights for the GLTB community, nationalize healthcare, repeal don't ask, don't tell, and once more draw the line that separates church and state. I believe in Barak Obama and his vision for America.

And I hope that those who wish him to fail will suffer personal failure that effects their whole family, I hope they will be discriminated against, I hope they will get sick and be unable to afford healthcare, I hope they or someone they love are stricken by a disease which might possibly be cured from stem cell research, and I hope that sickness will bring them so much suffering the beg to die but no one will help them because their is no right to "die with dignity". For then and only then will they have compassion for those who deal with these issues everyday!

Looks like its official - or soon to be, Hillary Clinton will be the new Secretary of State. And, as you might guess, I think this is a bad move.  I thought Condoleezza Rice wasn't a very good choice either. Not that I'm some type of sexist asshole or anything, but most of our concerns abroad are centered in the Middle East where women are viewed as lesser people than men. If we intend  to open any sort of dialogue with leaders in the Middle East, they are much more likely to be responsive to a male figure. The exception to this may be in Israel, where they are a little nervous about Obama, but we're already in somewhat good standing there so that might be irrelevant. 
Hillary was critical of Obama's foreign policy experience before he won the nomination, but she doesn't have much experience herself. Also, Bill Clinton does lots of paid appearance speaking around the world which could possibly cause some conflict.
I think Bill Richardson would have been a much better choice, in keeping with Obama's 'cabinet of rivals' scheme.

That's it for political talk.

Been on the road all day, running errands and spending time/money with my family. It was nice. We even got a little bit of Christmas shopping done. Now I'm having a glass of merlot and then going to bed. Cause I'm always tired. Always.

and if you didn't download that Jakob Dylan album I linked to last time, wow, you're missin' out.

Sometimes being around a lot of grown-ups reminds me that I'm NOT a grown-up.

Today all of the kids had a day off from school, and all the teachers and paras and other workers in the district met at the high school and had an in-service day.  I did not get to pick what I did, unlike other people.  Claudia (my co-teacher), Parker (our para-professional) and I were signed up for an all-day (8:30 - 3:30) class in restraint training/de-escalation of bad situations with our population along with about 7 other people.  We'll also be there  tomorrow morning (yes, that's a Saturday) from 8:30 - 3:30, and the same thing will happen next Saturday.  HINT:  We're NOT  getting paid for our Saturdays.

Anyway, I sat in this talk for all those hours, with the exception of a 15 minute break at around ten, an hour for lunch from 11:30 - 12:30, and then 2 ten-minute breaks in the afternoon, and I realized just how un-grown-up I am sometimes.  Sometimes?  All the time.  Just little things, I guess.  Like, today was JUST TALKING.  Tomorrow and next Saturday we'll be practicing actual restraints, but today was just learning about other things.  So as we were waiting, I said something like 'aw man, we're not going to be touching each other today?'.  And I have to share, I'm actually NOT all that pleased with the idea of having to touch all these people, and I'm a hugger.  Not even Claudia or my new best buddy Parker.  There's something about restraints that makes me feel very nervous.  But we kept being told we were going to RESTRAINT training, not DE-ESCALATION training.  If they would have used both terms (which certainly go together), I might have expected NOT to be learning restraints today.  However, that was not what we were told.  So my assumption, though not as eloquently worded as could have been, was incredibly valid.  So I didn't REALLY appreciate when she KEPT going back to "When we start 'touching each other'" as often as she did.

And then at the end of the day, she taught us about naming the behavior we're seeing.  Like saying, "Emily, I see you're writing on your paper right now".  Which I was; I'm a note-taker.  I've been 'yelled at' many times by teachers/professors/instructors to stop taking notes.  I guess that's my worst school habit :).  Anyway, it got me to look up, and put my pen down, and I nodded.  And she pointed out how it wasn't accusatory, and it wasn't mean or saracastic; it was just kind of 'hey, you're writing, we're all looking up here'.  But then I couldn't  help but add, when she said it again, "Fact".  As in, it's just a fact, I'm writing on my paper.  Parker and this guy Joey (who is in charge of what my classroom is but at the middle school level) took great pleasure in that one-word comment, and laughed and pointed it out.  And then she found out about it, and I blushed pretty hard.  I couldn't help commenting, though. 

Or how I let Parker clip the ID badge clip to my arm this morning.  He and I have started doing these 'trust exercises', even though we didn't call this one a trust exercise.  The first one was him holding a rubberband to my face and me trusting him not to actually let go so it would hurt me (Guess who was flinching and not trusting this the whole time, maybe I'm smarter and more adult than I thought).  The second was me holding a semi-sharp scissor open and inviting him to stick a finger or two in there, trusting I wouldn't snap them shut and cut him (I had no intent of doing this).  And today, I clipped his sleeve with the ID-pinch, and then he pinched his arm, comlained it hurt, tried to get me, and then eventually, I let him.  And I won't lie; didn't feel good.  But it's ... very  juvenile, isn't it?  Very fun and silly, but not... I don't think 'adult' when I think of the things I do.

But then... I don't WANT to be a grown up.  I don't enjoy being serious like that; I mean, there are times you NEED to be serious, no lie.  And when I'm working with my kids, I'm silly to a point, but there are limits that I won't cross or let them cross, either.  But I like going out with my friends and doing silly dances and making faces at the camera sometimes and just being an all-around strange person.  I don't EVER want to be concerned with appearances or being stuck-up or... I don't know.  A grown up.


So what the heck am I complaining about in this long, non-sensical entry?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALREADY!

I went by Dorinda's desk (a lady that I work with) she was on the phone with our IT guy Bill and she asked if he'd like to talk to me. He didn't need to but he asked if I had packed up and moved yet.  Dorinda laughed and like stared me down and said no that I wasn't leaving.  And I guess he said don't go after a shark there's plenty of fish in the sea.  Or something like that.  I felt so awkward. He's the same one that kicked my chair last Friday and told me to wake up lol and called me smiley in the hallway.  He's a nice guy, but I have no idea how he knew about it.  *sigh* I guess I get to be the office gossip for the moment.