Being @ MindSay

Today was a fun day. I had my birthday party today, finally. It's extremely depressing that I invited quite a few people and not only did three cancel TODAY (they're all forgivable excuses, especially Kathy's), but only two people showed up: Cassie and Catrina. Nevertheless, I had a ton of fun swimming and playing Say Anything with the two of them. We also had our garage sale this morning. Felt kinda weird to sell all of my shit, especially my Polly Pockets, but at least I'm happy knowing that the little Mexican girl who bought all of them will enjoy them in her house now. I definitely need to hang out with the twins more often.

In other news, more related to the subject of this particular blog, I'm extremely tired. No surprises there, since I always look like a fucking zombie.

Over the last few days, I've been talking to an old friend who is a philosopher (actual one; he's working on his dissertation on pedagogy). We easily get carried away into talking out all sorts of things and the other night certainly was not much different. He explained about some of the materials he has read and has been writing on, one of which related to Erich Fromm's Being and Having. I, on the other hand, need to sometimes say things back to myself in order to get a full grasp on it, so I used an example from my life to better understand the concept.

 

Fromm spends a lot of time speaking on the difference betwen the having mode and the being mode. In the having mode, the main focus is on obtaining, possessing, consuming...individuals are defined by what they have and are motivated by those possessions (and having more of them!), which he also loosely relates to neuroticism. Whereas, in the being mode, the driving force is defined by your actions in the world: experiencing your life to the fullest (without a mask), relating to people, and being the truest form of yourself to the universe.

 

I happen to be a being type of person. Relatively early on, I've figured out what I wanted to do with my life in order to make an impct on the world around me. I am now in chiropractic school and I feel that for me this is the best method of accomplishing that goal. I am very passionate about helping people, which I've always strived for. I have also always been a people-person, very social, no concept of personal "bubble," just ask any of my friends. For whatever reason, I've always yearned for the simplest of human contact. In my case, I best respond to touch; I am very tactile, hands-on, which makes sense in my chosen profession. Beside my professional life, the remainder of time I spend around great people whom I love dearly and who add so much worth to this existence. Beside my "real" family, my friends have become a surrogate family whom I at many times feel closer to than my blood relatives. Blood isn't necessarily thicker than water! My boyfriend, who is my partner in life, is a firm supporter in the life that I live. Just the same as me, he focuses his life on being. The important things in our life are not things! We place a lot of importance on spending time and experiencing meaningful things together as well as with other people. We do not feel the need to spend large sums of money to express how much we love each other because at the end of the day the money runs out much quicker than true love.

 

Before I work myself into a frenzy over that, I want to mention the exact opposite. I will leave the names out of this story because they aren't necessary, but it is someone who grew up in the same household as me for over 20 years. I do want to preface this by saying that with this person I no longer have a very good relationship as a result of a series of events, which I do regret. Neither here nor there, she is in the process of eagerly awaiting her wedding date, which is a joyous occassion for most people as it is for her. In the time spent planning and preparing for her big day, she has worked herself as well as anyone she knows into a frenzy due to her slightly neurotic behavior (not even taking into account her impending marriage). While listening to her many stories about all of the preparations, one of those on the list is the wedding registry, which is a nice way of asking people to buy you the gifts you actually want and will use, so that your guests do not feel that they have to reinvent the wheel. She and her fiancee had spent an entire day at a 9-story Macy's picking through the large inventory and choosing their registry items. The other day she mentioned one of those items on the list, which is a dinning set. She proceeded to explain that she'd picked a casual as well as a formal set. My jaw dropped! Now, why would you feel the need to do that? Is it truly necessary outside of hosting royalty on a regular basis? Doubtful! What went beyond that is that her formal dinning set is designer (whose name she wasn't even able to pronounce) and is entirely too expensive! It just seems to be a case of status, defining yourself by what you have and how others will perceive you as a result of what you have. The sheer idea of that makes me slightly sickening.

 

I do find myself constantly asking the question "why?" Maybe the answer is what makes the two of us so different. I do not feel the need to define myself by material standards. At the same time, what someone else's perception of me may be depends entirely on the person judging me. I do not place enough importance on others' impression of me because I do not have any control of how my reality may reflect in another's life. Consequently, I wish nothing more than to live my life in accordance to my beliefs and ideals regardless of how they may transpire to other people. I believe in being the best version of myself that I can possibly achieve at any given time and that's is the way I will spend the rest of my life living!

 

Thank you for listening, Universe! May your season be blessed manyfold!

 

 

Do you think parents need to take a back step when attending their childrens performances? I work with a group of very talented kids aged between 9-18 and feel that some of these kids cannot perform to their best ability with their parents (who can be the biggest critics) in the same room?

Your thoughts?

today has been a great day. i can't really divulge any details yet though, it's a confidentiality thing. but i'm so happy i'm shitting smiles. it's only gonna get better too !!!!! yay life

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.

Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.

Being poor is living next to the freeway.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.

Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.

Being poor is off-brand toys.

Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.

Being poor is knowing you can't leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.

Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.

Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway.

Being poor is Goodwill underwear.

Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.

Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.

Being poor is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.

Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.

Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.

Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.

Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.

Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.

Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.

Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.

Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.

Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.

Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.

Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.

Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.

Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.

Being poor is having to live with choices you didn't know you made when you were 14 years old.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is knowing you're being judged.

Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.

Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.

Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.

Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.

Being poor is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.

Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.

Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.

Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is running in place.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.