Beast @ MindSay 
the beast
Not content to stare at the clock in the corner of the computer screen whilst vainly attempting to will time itself to accelerate, Emile's Imagination proposed to him a new activity. He would catalogue the surmountable obstacles he encountered in his working routine, and devise a method by which he may overcome them. Insurmountable obstacles would become extinct when faced with Emile's Imagination.
In his response to his working life Emile's Imagination had mutated to become the most prevalent and potent portion of his mind. It was an almost Darwinian process. Those portions of his brain that were ill-equipped to deal with office life (logic, reason, and analytics were some) withered and became sickly. Emile's Imagination had climbed to the top and secured itself a place at the forefront of his cerebral faculties. So dominant it was that Emile found himself unconsciously capitalising it in writing
With his new task in mind, Emile began the short search for inspiration. He had to do naught but check his e-mail to strike gold. There, glowing in his inbox, was the subject of the first entry: the company's "leave" process.
Presently the "leave-beast" existed with a most labyrinthine anatomy. First, one must make the decision to go on holiday. Emile Imagined this process starting in the head of the leave-beast; he might have envisaged it had his Imagination had a less significant control of his diction. Secondly, the aspiring pioneer must resolve to undertake the arduous journey to gain the vaunted "approval." This would occur in the leave-beast's courage gland.
Now resolute, the pioneer would approach the immediate superior in the lesser control gland to ascertain the availability of his leave at the proposed time for holiday. This was a critical step, as without this initial approval the pioneer's journey would be terminated prematurely.
With this approval in hand or, more correctly gland, the pioneer who was once resolute would now be both resolute and slick with approving control slime.
Lubricated in this way, the pioneer would travel swiftly through the leave-beast's stomach of second thoughts and arrive at the entry to the greater control gland, home of the greater superior. This was another critical point in the journey, as gaining entry to this gland could take days, or even weeks. It was here that many times a process would fail, as major delays could hold the flagging pioneer at bay until the intended date slid past. However, once access had been granted, approval would most often follow swiftly. Only in rare cases would the approval from the greater superior be denied.
With the precious greater control slime travel was much easier. It was no more than filling out a request form at the memory controller and notifying the administrative brain cluster of the travel dates. The greater control slime allowed pioneers who obtained it in time to slide with urgent speed down the slopes of bureaucratic inanity, and out the exit to muck-covered freedom.
Considering the process in this way Emile found himself to be feeling quite disturbed and not a little ill. How anyone would ever manage to successfully navigate this horrible creature would remain a mystery to him. So it was that he set about contriving two alternatives to the present unpleasantness.
Number one was to simply shoot the leave-beast in the head retiring it instantly. Replacing it with hierarchical responsibility would expedite the matter greatly. With the superior to provide initial approval, then themselves gaining full approval from the greater superior, the burden on the once-pioneer would be greatly reduced. From there the greater superior would notify all relevant parties thus taking full responsibility.
Emile was satisfied with the simplicity of this process, however his Imagination was not. The problem here was that this was mundane, boring, and only two minutes had passed when he again checked the clock. It was simply too simple. So it was that another more fantastic alternative was devised. All employees of whatever rank there may be would go through the same process.
Firstly, they would take to the "games master" to sign up for one of the trial teams. They would then engage in a gruelling regimen of training, and physical and mental improvement to prepare themselves for the trials to come.
The first of these would be to fight a minotaur. If any member of their team survived the terrifying hand to hand combat with the bull-man they would go on to the next round.
Round two would be a taste test to determine which of three plants provided to them was poisonous. The determination of any one plant must be made in less than three seconds to avoid fatal poisoning. An incorrect guess would see the competitor fired out of a cannon at the competitors in the third round, specifically aimed at their own team should any surviving members be competing.
Round three would be a running race made more exciting by the addition of swiftly-spinning, all-desiccating blades that would gain quickly on the competitors. The last team standing would have their leave approved, after being assigned to them at random from the requests of the remaining team members.
The greatest benefit to this approach, Emile marvelled, was that it would ensure that the longest it would take for leave to be approved was a mere week. The only requests that must wait until the next week were those made during the competition itself. Such an increase in efficiency was exactly what this company needed.
Emile’s task was unenviable, but he understood that it must be his responsibility to develop the means by which his company would rise to the top, and bask in the glorious light of eminent prestige.
sooo. my sister resently stole something very dear to me. to some it may seem trivial but to me it was a part of my childhood. my memory. Yep thats right she told everyone that she wanted to be a tea pot. just becaus i bet you have no idea what i'm talking about allow me to explain.
you remember when you were a little kid. like 6 or so. and adults used to ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up. I mean it was a dumb question i'm pretty sure half the boys in america wanted to be astronaughts or cowbouys. and half the girls wanted to be a popstar or a ballerina. But still. when i was a kid i actually thought that you could be anything that you ever wanted to be so i chose to be a the teapot from beauty and the beast. Yep i'm sure that i could have chosen a btter thing i mean the teapot wasn't even thatcool i'm pretty sure that she was some old lady stuck as a teapot. And i mean it wasn't like beauty and the beast was even my favorite disney movie (lion king all the way). SO yeah i would always respond with the same answer to the rather dumb queation " i wnt to be the teapot from beauty and the beast." You can just imagine how dissapointed i was when i found out that you actually had to chose sopmething ligitimate for the answer to the annoying question. I could no longer just say the teapot. no now i had to resort to the ever so popular answer "a popstar" yep thats right i became just like ahlf orf the little girl population. it was demening but i got over it... i watched the power rangers and completly forgot.
so anyways. yesterday while me and my sister and her husband and his siter and her fiance were watching TMNT my sister said something dumb about what she did when she was a kid then she said "what thats not that bad i also wanted to be te teapot from beauty and the beast because i thought you could be anything" yeah thats right she went there. I couldn't believe it either. I mean you can't just steal someones memories thats just stupid. So i was pretty pissed but i didn't say anything. whatever i confronted her today but she held her ghround and said that that was her not my that wanted to be the teapot. its okay though i know that she is just in denial form lying, oph well at least i know that truth, so yeah thats my story.
going to that zoo tomorow exciting. I havent been to the zoo for forever. dinosors walked the earth last tiome i went to the zoo... which is funny really because there is a dino exsibit at the zoo... yeah not that funny oh well wel i'm gonna fall asleep so i best be going. PEACE
I spend an inordinate amount of time in my head, pondering and meandering into dark possibililties...Dark places...Dark Thoughts...Darkness...
Have you ever wondered how close to Evil, True Evil you have brushed next by in passing during your life? Now, some of you have been touched, harmed, maimed and worse, thus know what lies out in the Darkness watching, and waiting for their chance to strike.
What monsters walk among us, passing us in the street, standing behind us in a cue, sitting by us in a theater in the dark, eyes gleaming in the flicking light? Every day we walk through life oblivious to who and what is right next to us. There are predators hunting among us. Their prey varies, but they look, more often than not, just like us. Innocuous and utterly camouflaged in their mundane appearance...sniffing the air for the weak and unprepared.
We like to think that evil wears a black hat, and twirls its mustache as it approaches us with it malevolent designs upon its sleeve, but that is not the case 999 times out of a thousand. There is no mark of the Beast tattooed on their foreheads. The master predators, they smile, speak soft and smooth, full of charm, not hint of deception in their eyes, and you don't even see them coming. Then there are the amatuers, creeping, sculking, hidden, until the last second, and you only have time for one last scream before they drag you down, and take what they want from you, be it your life or something maybe just as dear.
Every face you see...who are they really? What hides behind their eyes. What terror is swirling under the surface? Who are they? What are they?
Everyone of us is capable of terrible, heinous acts, but we don't act on our impulse, on our base animal natures. That is what sets we humans apart from other amimals. Our compassionate reason, and all the other attending attributes growning out of our common mutual cooperation to make civilization work and grow, but...those who turn off that compuctual switch and run silently under the radar. Wolves in sheeps clothing, circling and circling, until...they sinking their fangs and claws it their carfully chosen morsels, and then we know. We know that there are truly monsters among us, demons existing here with us so very close. They're not from Hell. No, they're are part of us. Living side by side with us, hidden in the cracks between our every day tasks.
Why do they exist and persist? Who can say? God? Surely God knows why...but so far God's not telling me why. So I'll just have to surmise that such creatures are some sort of lesson, some harsh test to see if we have what it takes to survive and remain good and true. To refine our metal and keep going through the jungles and deserts of existence until we emerge into a promised land where there are no such beings to plague us and haunt our nightmares.
At least I hope that is the case.
Sweet Dreams, Children...
Ya' Feel Me?
Slick Jimmy Has Left The Building...
“According to Le-way”
(A fair judgment for everyone)
It was a long time ago but some of you may remember. It was the fall of 1992 and Ozzy was in the midst of his No More Tears Tour. I bought two tickets but my companion copped out at the last minute. I was not about to miss my first opportunity to see Ozzy live so I went by myself! The months and years that lead up to the concert consisted of a lot of drug abuse, especially LSD and marijuana! On this particular night all I had was a bag of weed and enough money to buy some drinks once I arrived. My prior experience with LSD and my maturity level contributed to the events of the evening. During the concert I screamed out several phrases that I hoped would fuck with my fellow concert goers. The words “I’m here!” and “Blue Ball” had to do with a couple of LSD trips I had recently had the opportunity to experience. I was quite a distance from the stage so it took me off guard when Ozzy appeared to take notice, look in my direction and even put his arm out as if he thought I was Hitler. I thought nothing more of it till the next day…
The following morning I went about drinking beer and smoking weed as usual. I decided to put in the No More Tears CD in tribute of the concert I had just attended when it happened. There is no way I could have known it at the time but I would never be the same! I played it over and over again in a state of bewilderment that grew more and more enticing every time I heard what was on it. It was me! It was my name! My name was on an Ozzy Osbourne song! I couldn’t believe it! I have since come to accept it.
The following months developed into full blown schizophrenia. There seemed to be nothing I could do to get the refrigerator to shut up or find the listening devices and cameras the radio station must have put in my room. It was like the Earth itself was desperately trying to tell me something. The days and weeks turned into months and eventually years that I would have to spend like this. There are no words to describe what I went through or any way to truly exaggerate it (other than to say it was impossible). I often thought of getting back at the demon people who were clearly to blame for my situation. It wasn’t so much that I was crazy as it made me mad. I wanted someone to blame for it even if they never heard a thing I said. Eventually help found me because I was incapable of finding it myself.
There is a part of this story that I should take a second to tell you about. By this time in my life I had turned my back on Christianity. I could no longer justify belonging to a religion that refuses to be fair in its very nature. My decision as a teenager to become a Christian was made in haste and with little understanding of the religion itself. As a young man I decided that Christianity did not do the God of my understanding justice. I wanted to believe in a perfect God and, to me, that meant He had to be fair. It’s not that I had a problem with Christian morals and values, although I do consider myself a bi-sexual. I had a problem with Jesus specifically. It shouldn’t matter what you call or do not call God. God knows who His true followers are! He is the God of everyone or He is the God of no one. Our beliefs do not determine what is and what isn’t. Surely, God is as reasonable as we are! In the words of Ozzy Osbourne, “No sympathizing God is insanity!”
So far as I’m concerned the worlds religions are just a bunch of different ways to worship the same God. Le-way (what I call my religion) attempts to go about it in a way that allows people to be themselves without having to necessarily make any major changes in order to deserve being called a believer. Le-way is for all those sinners out there who want to believe in God but aren’t willing to completely turn their lives around. They want to be sinners but still receive Gods love and affection. I doubt there is anyone (no matter how bad of a person they are) that truly deserves to spend forever in a place like hell. Sure they should suffer but forever should be based on forever and not a human lifetime. Everyone should get what they deserve and that’s what Le-way is all about.
One day last fall I was getting drunk in the woods not too far from my parents house where I was staying when something unusual happened. I saw what appeared to be a dark figure resembling a knight in shining armor materialize before me. The creature, whatever it was, stood before me without saying a word for what seemed like forever. Then without any warning reached for the sword at it’s side and struck me down with a single blow to the head. The next thing I knew I was in the spirit and standing before the Lord. God did not say a word to me but instructed a 4 headed beast to show me what is to come.
I was surprised to hear the beast speak in such an innocent tone to me that I was not frightened. The beast explained to me in great detail what I am supposed to share with the rest of the world. The way to go to Heaven is to surrender the knowledge of good and evil but there are as many ways to go about this as there are names for God. I was right to say that it doesn’t matter what you call or do not call God. God knows who His true followers are! People who surrender their knowledge of good and evil will become at one with God and serve Him in the same way our arms and legs do us. This is what it means to achieve Nirvana or go to Heaven.
The beast went on to explain that God has prepared a place for the rest of us too. Each head of the beast took turns speaking as he described it as a kind of purgatory that will fulfill Gods wishes. He called this place Utopia and exclaimed that it‘s where bad things won‘t happen to good people. The better you live your life, the better your life will be. In other words there will be Perfect On-going Justice, like karma, but in a more urgent sense. Actual Free-will, or the absence of any demonic and/or psychic influences, will ensure that people are the ones responsible for their actions and deserve the consequences they reap. Just as important and even more exciting is that God promises to give everyone a Permanent 2nd Chance to Surrender the Knowledge of Good and Evil and go to Heaven. You might say that Utopia provides liberty and justice for all. With that in mind, may God bless America and bring us a miracle!
The Prayer of Le-way!
“God, whose names are great and many,
I ask that there may be justice for both friend and foe
and for myself.
Amen”
Well after our very scary and horrifing morning with our daughter today. We allowed the blonde small imature animal out into the wild of school.
People laugh at me when I say to treat your children like wild animals! I am sorry laugh all you want but when the lil buggers can cause you great joy and great pain......it is wise to approach them with caution.
And that is exactly what I did this late afternoon and early evening when she drug her feet on entrering the house after school. I looked at her said hi and gave her a hug. And the sat her ass down at the table and procedued to put a tabel between me and her........much like a lion tamer holds that chair between the lions and himself.
We yet again went over why she isn't allowed to even go outside with out either mom or dad knowing. And all that good mumbo jumbo and how yes she pist me the fuck off and I wanted to beat her black and blue but didn't because I knew not to get near her this morning in that type of mood. And we also went over consequences of actions again. And just like you would a working animal or wild animal.......she got a treat of mom was done lecturing her.
We are going to implement a reward for good behavior chart that not only deals with home but school behavior at home. Why? Well since school has started our lil girl whom we thought we had domesticated has been showing sinces of going feral and back to her natural state of wildness. Did something trigger this? Not really, she is dealing with normal school things and is a pretty popular child at school. The imature human being I call a daughter just has two very strong sets of dna combined with in her and they mixed to cause obstince (she gets this one from me:D), stubborness (bothsets of parents on this one), drama queenness (which she gets from her dad on that one) and frustration towards authority(okay this one is me again!).
We think we have things settled down again. She is grounded from tv and the comp for a good week. The bikes are officially put up for fall and winter. Which she is finding out isn't the same as fall and winter up in Nebraska. She could have rode her bike all year round down here. Soccer we have decieded to let her keep doing. We thought it was best to keep a routine for the two legged beast we call a daughter. We will hold soccer over her head which of course produced an Academy Award Winning crying and "It isn't Fair" speech. And on top of her normal homework from school and her sometimes added circullum that we do....she will also be starting a journal that she works on with mom. To start out every day for this first week...she will write 50 times "I am NOT old enough to ride my bike into town." And then write me a one page paper as to why she is not old enough, why she has to listen to mom and dad, and what will happen if she doesn't listen.
Now a lot of you are like if that was my child she would have been *insert punishment here* and why aren't you doing more. Well see I have studied this feral beast for 7 years. From birth till now. She does take after her mother and father way to much in behavor. And what has been observed by the two legged beast's grandparents concerning her mother, is if you push punishment down on the imature human then said animal becomes even more obstinate and may lead to a life of lil bitchyness, punk ass bady as Rey Rey behavor. And that jsut isnt' going to fly in this house hold.
Then there are a few of you that go well you should have kept a better eye on your kid. I say bend over and let me shove my crow bar up your ass. No paernt anywhere in this world can keep 24/7 constant servallance and tracking devices on these wild animals. I just closed my eyes for less then 5 mins. When the animals are beahving in sneaky, quit behavor they are determined to do what they want when they want. Does this make me a bad parent. Nope makes me a more dilligent parent. Will this happen again? Probably not until she is in the adolacence age group which means my life becomes even more hazardous keeping up with her roaming and hormaonal changes.
So thus ends this lil saga of my two legged blonde beast...........for the time being!
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