Back To Work @ MindSay

life wow....how else can you explain things that go wrong. Just WOW...lol

 

First I am suppost to go to a training class saturday so I was told I would get off at 9pm instead of 1230am.

My brother is doing a show at a club downtown and it starts at 9 on saturday.

I was planning on going to my brothers show after work instead I was told that the training class was cancelled and that was okay because i was to come in at 2 and get off still at 9. At 12noon saturday I got a phone call telling me that the girl who was suppost to work till 1230 called in to drunk to work so I would have to close. I was just find with that. I wasnt happy but what could I have done. I went to work and on the way my boyfriend called and said that he wanted to talk to me about how he feels about me for real. I wanted to get everything out there. I let him know I was almost to work so he asked if he could call me at 1230 when I got off. I got a call from my friend asking me if I would go with her to the bar. I told her sure forgetting that my baby was going to call.

 

Second thing that happened was that while I had the chance to back out when my baby called me. He told me to go have fun. That was the first mistake of the night. Instead of talking to him he wanted me to go drink. I didnt want to go but he said he wanted to talk later because I had made plans and that I should keep them. Now I wish that he had just started talking instead. We went to the bar and had a few drinks then headed to another bar got a couple more drinks and went back to the first bar. We ran into a friend of mine and he bought us drinks. Then I was drunk.....I knew I was drunk but still I got into the truck and drove.

 

We went to a friends house to drink some more. I knew that I should have stopped and just chilled on the couch but  I went againsted everything I know and drank more. My friends asked me to take them home. I knew I was messed up and yet I still got in the vehicle. My friend said to me that we could just stay till we sobered up alittle but I just wanted to get home. We started heading to my friends house to drop her off. Half way there we were pulled over for swerving.

 

This is taking way to long to write so im just going to say I lost my truck my license and my liability. I hate myself for it. But I dont blame anyone but myself for getting behind the wheel.

                Overall, I can’t complain about today.  I had my busy morning; time with Erin, who I love, and then 45 minutes with AB, who was very flighty and resistant today.  Sue said he got his medication, so she thinks it was just him being purposefully stubborn.  I just think she doesn’t like him very much.  She has hit her limit with him; it’s my job to repair that bridge.  Then I went to Jacqui’s room to work with CB, but she told me, ‘he (thinking I was there for NB)’s absent today’ and when I said, no I was there for CB, she said, ‘she’s out, too’.  So instead of staying, I went back to my room and had fun.

                Lunch was another ‘D and Kait issue’ (why is it always when I’M alone in there? And why is this turning into a Friday routine?).  Not NEARLY as bad as last week.  Thank the Lord.  He sat down at the table with A, and then stood and went a row and a table over to stand behind his sister, pretty much shoving his tray into her neck.  He assumed/accused that she was telling people about a bump on his forehead (the nerve!).  Again, we had to tell him to give her space, and he wouldn’t.  So Kati got up to get some salad dressing for her lunch, and in that 2 second period, D slid into her seat and refused to stand up, even with both Dorell and I urging him.  Finally he got up, and walked out of the cafeteria.

                Got down to the room, Parker started to talk to him and he started talking to Parker, and I told Parker that D did NOT have permission to be there.  Fun when he started to bring his tray down for recess and I said, ‘and then come right back here’.  He asked ‘why?’.  When I explained that he left location and had also been bothering his sister, he tried to back-pedal pretty hard:  “so you’re telling me I can’t go out, even if I do a re-start?” when when he first came in we’d told him to go back and ASK to come to the room, but he wouldn’t.  Kept going back to ‘so you’re telling me_____’, but I held my ground, and Claudia and Parker did, too.  I was actually really nervous during it, because I know how he blows, but I also know that it’s not fair that he get to do whatever he wants and get no consequences.  No other kid in the SCHOOL would dream of talking back to a teacher that way,  No other kid has the privilege/option of eating in the classroom when he wants to, and that we’re deserving of respect when we give him that option.  I don’t think that option’s on the table for a while.  He told me he wouldn’t take his tray down, so I said, ‘okay, as long as your tray is here, you will not be watching the movie with us; you and I will go into the room and do work or read’ and I basically got growled at, but he went.

                I have to share silent reading.  This is something that actually made my heart feel WARM, even if you’re about to read it and go, ‘big whoop’.  In the work I do, with kids as tough as mine, you have to savor small moments where things go really right, or you burn out focusing on negative things (like D’s lunch drama).  So, to rewind a little, A is my 6th grader.  Not a typical 6th grader; he has a lot of mental disabilities (I'm pretty sure he suffered a TBI when he was 2-3), and functions pretty much on a kindergarten level.  He cannot really read; made HUGE leaps from the start of the year, but the books he's reading are... designed for pre-k/k, and he still flubs through most of them.  Mostly what's improved is his work ethic.  So today, after lunch, we got our usual mini-tantrum that it was silent reading time.  He said, "I want to listen to a book" (we have a few that are on CDs so he can just follow along).  I told him that if I saw him actually looking at a book quietly when I turned back, he could have those.  I reminded him what we've been saying since September; we don't care if you cacn READ the book; just show us you can look at the pictures/pages/be engaged in it, and we're happy.  Today...he did that.  He sta there and quietly flipped through a story, and then a second when I told him it hadn't been enough time, and he did that witout complaint, and he got his reward.  And a very happy teacher : ).

Is it me or do alot of people use their blogs to rant about work.  Its funny you spend all day at work thinking about how you would rather be anywhere but there (especially around the holidays) then you come home get back on a computer and vent about your fustration with work.  I am one of those people. Well since this is my first blog post I am really not one of "those" people yet!  I just wish the days til my vacation would magically appear.  If there is anyone out there bore enough to read what I wrote I would love to hear your thoughts PLEASE critique my blog. I can take it...hopefully!

On Monday I have to go back to work.

 

I can't even believe it. 

 

I'm soooooooooo sad about it.  Time has flown by, and I've just been sitting here soaking in every coo and smile and hug and baby kiss that I can get.  I haven't spent time blogging about it like I wanted to, I haven't gone out and shown her off to the masses... I've had a few little visits, but mainly... I just wanted to enjoy my family while I was home from work.  I enjoyed them so much that I can't bear the thought of going back.

 

BUT

 

I have to go back tomorrow.

 

I'm scared that I'm going to cry at work.  I'm definitely not prepared for the level of stress that I left.  I'm trying to prepare myself, but I know that I'm not ready.  I just have to set healthy limits for myself and do what I can do, and that's all.

 

Anyhow, I just wanted to take a minute today to post a picture of my new little princess.

 

I miss you Mindsay... hopefully I'll have time soon to write a decent entry... its been forever since I have.

 

 

Weekend over, back to work.  It does get depressing sometimes when your time off just shrinks away faster than you can mentally get away from the work you are resting from.  This is especially true if you despise your work and loathe your boss.  Getting up in the morning gets harder everyday, when you know that pretty soon you will have no choice but to leave where you are and find work somewhere else.  Things in my case have just run their course, and it does me no good to subject myself to working in my fathers business.  The two of us could not be any more different, and I can't wait for the day where I finally find myself a better option and let him know how long I have been waiting to get away from the man.  The only thing that scares me is that the economy is so bad that finding a job may be harder than usual.  I'm not going to burn my bridges until I get off the island, I can't put my family is a bad spot, but once I am in the clear from him, I'm taking off and not looking back.  Another Monday with that miserable bastard; Mondays will be much more enjoyable when I don't have to see or hear him anymore.