Back To Church @ MindSay 
It's been a beautiful day.
I got up and my sister was making beef bacon and cheesey eggs, mmmmmmm, but I just had eggs and toast.
I was tired so I'd gone back to bed but felt guilty and kept tossing about church.
I did promise GOD that if things turned out as planned I'd start going to church.
Now, what I'd gotten was that very blessing in less than 2 weeks!
Our family has been going through this crap since last year!
I kinda stopped talking to GOD because of it, sorry about that SIR OMEGA. But with you being around forever I'm sure you understand.
Do you mean to tell me that all I had to do was give my prayers and worries to you?
I'd decided last night that I'd go to this non denominational church that I can see outside my bedroom window. My mom was really dissappointed that I wasn't going to her church.
But this morning after breakfast I went back to bed, and promised that I'd read the bible for an hour.
I thought hey, I'm still worshiping him and giving praise, but after my forty winks.
Well as tired as I was I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning and felt guilty for breaking my promise. I jumped up, took a shower and hopped in a cab.
I walked in and my mom was sitting next to her best friend Renee. I kissed my mom and scared her, then she started with the tears and I started with the tears.
It was a good service but I'm not the sit in church every Sunday type of gal.
While I believe in GOD, I'm not too fond of organized religion, I couldn't wait to get out of there.
But Maybe I just haven't found my church home yet. Or maybe I never will as GOD is in my heart and my body is my church home.
And now I'm getting ready to shake my booty with my sister and my niece at a BODY and SOUL Party.
Oh yeah and a mindsayer is meeting us there....COOL!
I know this is going to sound weird maybe off the wall to some of you however its a very touchy subject, in fact its a subject some Pastors have been chastised for even mentioning in the pulpit.The fact that it exist in this particular place is astounding and as out of place as you would imagine.I'm speaking of abuse in the church by members. That's right church folks abusing their spouses male and female. Now you'd think that folks that peofess themselves to be christians which means Christ like would be the last folk to abuse anyone. I've been teaching a class at church on anger management and this subject came up. There are many types of abuse other then physical. here's an example of just one in the church. I happen to know a family from New York where the mother and her four daughters were beaten every Sunday night after by their father/husband who happened to be a Deacon in the church. I had the oppertunity to meet this individual and found him to be very dominant. I'll tell you I was not impressed by his behavior or aggressiveness, I was rather turned off. When I sat and listened to his former wife talk about what she and the kids went through while living in his household, I asked her why didn't she leave him and her answer was I was afraid. This went on for years until one Sunday night it all came to an end, when it came her turn to be whipped she ran out in the back yard and grabed a stick and stretched him out cold. She'd had rnough and couldn't take anymore. She and her girls left him and she was finally able to obtain her divource. Just think no one in the church had any knowledge of this activity, no one. She was being controled and abused all at the sametime. Anytime you work and your husband comes to your job and collects your paycheck an spends it and dares you to say anything about it an all you do is keep working, thats control. This is just one example, wives abuse their husbands too. There is an organization that has been started in Maryland that deals especially with abused husbands, husbands abused by their wives and made to pay child support and fight to see their kids.
This is sad we've reached a point in our lives where we can no longer respect each other and reason together. I know someone has to lead in a relationship but not be the boss, its together thing not a my thing only. Its a partnership walking as one not two. " How can two walk together except they agree "? How do you feel about this ?
Long long time ago that I have not gone to the church on Sunday!! While I was working, I had to work on Sunday. Even tho, when I had a plenty of time on my weekend off, I always went to another place such as the mall or thr friend's home. During this time, the sad and hopeful feeling come through again. I have to find a shelter to protect myself from the illness, depressed and hopeless. I would tell you guys that my hope will be with me again no matter what! I willing to have my own life by my big decision. I guess, everything will work out. So, today, I went back to the church again. I went there at my first time here in this state. I met a lot of people. I was the one who came from Asia continent. All of them were so nice. They are looking forward to see me again next week. I promised myself to go back there again with my hope and joy. I shared a lot of my experiences with them. Even tho, my heart gets hurt every single word I explained to them. I do not want my life failed like this!! Some of them offered his or her help about finding a job. Like I said, I can do everything that they need me to work for. I do not mind at all. Just oonly really want the job. If I can not find the job here, I do not really know what should i do next!
God gave me strength this morning by my hopefulness. I know that God never leave me alone, I will get through this situation. Let see next week what is gona be? I can not wait until someone gives me a call and tell me that " You might get a job."
One thing that I can do right now is praying so hard!!! ( I will)
" Thank you everything that God let them happened to my life! A bad or good situations were my best and experiences. I will not blame anyone else or myself about that. Just calm down and hope for tomorrow..I have to walk pass the darkness day by day and take more time". Amen
They don't understand what I am going through spiritually. They can only see the surface of my trials. They only see the battles that I am fighting from a distance.
The truth is, I used to judge people the same way they judged me. I was embarrassed that I had once been so narrow-minded about spiritual things.
I saw Juanita Bynum today on Rod Parsley's camp meeting broadcast. She was speaking a lot of things about a new level for the last day. A purification in which you give up those things that truly HURT and you aren't physically/mentally able to let go of in order to obtain this new anointing and vow that God is calling us to have.
It hit me kind of hard, seeing as how I have been going through so much lately in my life in general. It made me see even more clearly, the task that is set out before me. The trouble is that I have to get up enough willpower to WANT to take on this task. I had posted a while back that I was totally done. I meant it. I meant that I was done with caring, trying, wanting, feeling, needing, being...which also prompted me to seek deeper knowledge of spiritual things as pertaining to my heritage. Always looking for that other level. I know the call on my life. It is funny that God would give me a family instead of allowing me to become a hermit of sorts with this call. It just makes the call ten times harder to answer and be held accountable for. I know the things that God requires of me. I don't want to take on the tasks. No matter what road I choose, it will be harder than hard...excruciating even. Either I answer the call and stay within His will and suffer greatly, or I don't answer the call and suffer greatly. Different types of suffering, sure...but suffering nonetheless. This is nothing new for me.
I see the path clearly before me.
Nothing new....
the same tunnel with the same outcome...with stops along the way. People will throw me from their presence and become enraged when they see me coming, but with controversy comes change. No matter what I do or don't do, I will always be the catalyst.
nothing new
Yesterday, I thought I had a buttload of crap to do, but my first activity allowed me to skip the second. My first activity was a boy scout canned food drive thing, which would have been really boring if PA didn't show up. another cool guy also showed up though, and we had a lot of fun. We were thirsty, so PA brought us to his church, which nobody was in, and went around the back to open a door he had rigged up. While we were coming back we ran into a guy that was walking around the church. He didn't even recognize PA, but I think he talked our way out of it. We'd also rate about the hot chicks we'd see while preforming our rounds around the houses, which were few and far between, but very hot. after that we came back to the food drive HQ and spent 2 hours longer than we wanted to cleaning up, but it was okay because we made jokes and did a lot of laughing.