Back In Love @ MindSay

so as bad as it is to feel this way, i think just by having him talk to me has brought life to my heart again.

i'm dreaming again! i'm drawing again! i'm probably screwing myself over again but it's worth it to feel like this again. i mean there isn't a piece missing so much as it just doesn't fit as well, but it's still there.

i'm just glad he's talking to me.

I'm an idiot...I'm a glutton for punishment....Those of u who know me know who I am talking about, for the rest of u I will refer u to one name....Candace.....it's unbelieveable how I keep falling for the same shit over and over and over. Maybe they are right when they say love makes you stupid, and no matter how badly she treats me I keep coming back to her when she beckons me. I cant seem to find a way to get away....I love Her so much though....no matter what anyone says...it just doesnt make an impact. Like today for instance....she got really sick and I spent a great amount of time taking care of her.......She's one of my best friends and I'm in love with her......wtf!?

23 deep questions that will really tell you something. Not stupid questions like "How Old Are You?"
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? 
Hard to look into someone else's eyes and tell them :)

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. Why were you angry? 
The last time I was betrayed, I was ready to stab somebody

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You get enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call? 
I would call Cal, though likely he'd be on the plane with me

4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. (1) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? (2) What do you do with your remaining days? (3) Would you be afraid?
I wouldn't tell anybody except for Cal :)

I would still work, but I would savor every moment doing anything

Not really, I hate when death is unexpected :)

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love. Which do you choose? 
To me you can't have one without the other, it doesn't work.  All or nothing. 

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save it?  
I would save the dog, definately, and then run to work 

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her?  
I've found this out:  I don't tell him then fall apart and have him find out in an unfortunate way 

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it? 
Yes.  

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? 
Yes, I've never done anything to hurt anyone and I wish there were more people like me...I'm weird :D 

11. Does love = sex? 
No, but one can't be done without the other, at least for me.

12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company?  
Yes :) 

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you feel? 
Thursday :)

14. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? 
That I don't love them back...aww

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?  
My compassion

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
My mom, a day ago :D

17. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change? 
Truthfully, I wish that Joe and I had never done anything.  It would have made things a lot easier for the three of us :)

18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? 
Cal :O

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Of course :D

20. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be? 
I would let go of my grandmother's hand

21. Are you old fashioned?
Sometimes

22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before? 
Heart break lasts forever, so I would wish to have never loved :)

23. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
I wish I could make Cal trust me again.

[x] I listen to political music.
[x] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.
[x] I've stayed out all night.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the someone.
[x] I watch the news
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs
[x] I love Disney movies
[x] I am a sucker for green eyes
[ ] I am a sucker for brown eyes
[ ] I am a sucker for blue eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fallen in public.
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam... The canned meat...
[ ] I bake well.
[x] I have worn pajamas to class.
[x] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I want a better job
[x] Talked on a phone for 5+ hours.
[ ] I love Dr. Phil
[x] I love someone.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[/] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol.
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[ ] I have tried a cigarette
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have a lot of scars.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I love chocolate.
[/] I bite my nails.
[ ] I am not comfortable with being me.
[ ] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[x] Gotten lost in the city.
[ ] Thought of suicide before.
[x] Seen a shooting star.
[x] Gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] Have kissed a stranger.
[ ] Have kissed someone really strange....
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of a diff. sex.
[x] Been in a fist fight.
[ ] Been arrested.
[ ] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[I wish!] Made out in an elevator.
[ ] Swore at Liberace.
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose
[ ] Been skydiving.
[I WISH!!] Been bungee jumping.
[ ] Gotten stitches.
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a car. 
[ ] Been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] Shoplifted.
[x] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach 
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[ ] Been married.
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Have a list of people you want to kill.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[x] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a Plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[x] Eaten sushi.
[ ] Been skiing.
[x] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public.
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone almost 24/7
[x] Hated or still hate the world (the world is fine. It's PEOPLE that suck.)

I don't know what it is about these blogs but something always draws me back toward them. Something always makes me want to type in each of them. It's because its so great...haha. No, I don't like MindSay but it is the only blog I'm able to access through a school computer.

I also love my layout. Just because I love those refreshing looking drinks lol. I want some kind of koolaide or something. Sounds nice.

lalalala