Awkward @ MindSay 
Ever have an encounter with someone and you can just feel your face turn red?
So...one weekend I regretably hooked up with who I would consider my closest friend's brother. On Tuesday I went over to her place to dye her hair. And as we were waiting for the color to set in she goes, "Oh I hope you don't mind, my brother's here." And around the corner came Scott. Her little brother. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought ahh thank God.
Washed out her hair, got my shit to leave, walked around the corner to see Steve. We stopped, stared at each other, looked back at Anna who doesn't know, looked back at each other...and I somehow mumbled something about me leaving.
I sort of hope that never happens again.
It was Ann, the woman who lives in one of the rooms upstairs. Ann and I have been the 2 complaining most about being cold; the boys have mentioned it infrequently, but Carman especially seems the most apathetic to our plight. To be fair, I'm ALWAYS cold, so even I don't hold my complaints of being chilly with a lot of merit, because I say it when it's 89 degrees out and I'm running around.
So Ann comes in, and I turn on the light to make sure she's okay, like not sick and needing me to drive her to the hospital or anything. No, no: she's coming in because she's complaining about the heat situation. She's up in her room 'curled up in a little ball' and it's too cold, she's really upset, etc. And I'M really upset it says '68' on the wall thing but it's probably only 50 because it's clearly not working, but it's also... 2am. She admitted she knew it wasn't my fault, and she knows I'm not mechanical and don't know how to fix it myself, and she 'doesn't want to fly off the roof' (which I guess is her version of 'get really pissed and overreact'), but it still seemed weird to come into my room at 2am to tell me this.
Meanwhile, I just bought a blanket/comforter that is still in its bag (wanted to save it for extra layer in winter months), so I get out of bed and get it out for her, thinking she could use an extra blanket to help her sleep for tonight when I can't fix it. "Oh, no, I'm okay under the covers, it's just... I need to be able to spend time in my room". Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
Am I wrong for thinking that this exchange, while not the worst thing in my life (She left at about 2:10 and I was back asleep by 2:40), was incredibly weird? And maybe...not the way to handle it? I think it's great that Ann, who is pretty shy/reserved, feels close enough to me to come to me with her problems, but at the same time... tomorrow night when I'm home from teaching is a great time. Hell, get up an hour early this morning when I'm already up. But this...just seemed excessive.
28th March, Saturday. Went out round Sheffield.
Never been before! wasn't too bad!
Found a club called Babylon which plays allll nineties music :D
So me and ashleigh had a nice little dance to Vengaboys and Spice Girls hehehe.
The bad part was when I got to the Plug.
This is where the Jagermeister story comes in.
So, me and Ashleigh get to the bar and realise, "you know what? i've never tried jagermeister before! lets go for it".
So, a shot each. Drank that, tasted terrible..
And me, being smooth as hell, threw it right back up right there in front of the bar.
Nice.
Not only that, but the other two people we were out with were a guy i like, and a guy who used to like me who I have kissed on a few occasions.
So, thats 2 peoples impressions of me scarred for life.
The two guys are in a band together, and so are really good mates, and shared a taxi home.
I texted the one I like later on (he knows I like him btw, but isn't interested) saying that I was embarassed, and that I thought if he didnt like me before he definately wouldn't like me now, and that i hope he can forget the whole thing.
A few minutes later i find out the one who liked me saw what I put to him, realised I liked the other one, and apparently this caused a very awkward taxi ride home, because seemingly he still has a bit of a soft spot even though he has a girlfriend now.
Argh =/
not heard from the one who likes me since. Hope things will still be ok between us, he's one of my best ever friends.
x
My grandpa is dying. He chose not to get any more treatment (blood transfusions, etc.) on Saturday. The doctors gave him two days to two weeks. So now I get to sit here with the waiting game playing out before me.
One reason I didn't go to see him yesterday was because Josh was with me, and he already had to spend an entire weekend with my family...and this would have just made an awkward weekend even more awkward. I know as soon as I would have walked into that room, the tears would have started to fall. I hate crying in front of people as it is (even if everyone else is crying, too), and I didn't want him to have to see me like that. I've cried myself to sleep two nights in a row now. I just want him to go...as stupid as that sounds. He's being too strong, and I don't know what he's hanging onto. He struggles to take each breath...struggles to stay alive.
But, on the other hand...my graduation party had a good turn out and it was kind of fun. I think Josh had a good time...although everyone there thought we were dating, which was really funny since we're not at the moment. Who knows what's going to happen with that...
First off, I hate first blogs. I hate the word blog, and I hate this awkward "Hi, I'm the writer of this blog, and uhm...this is me!" I hate it. A lot. Hopefully having said that will disspell some of the awkwardness. (I hate spelling "awkward." It's exactly what it says it is. It's awkward. Cumbersome, if you will.)
Secondly, hey! I'm already doing it. I lapse into these little asides (indicated like so) pretty frequently. I suppose that probably means I'm a bit scatterbrained. It does all make sense to me. I just have these random tangents running through my mind.
Uhm...yeah. Awkwardness not entirely disspelled. I'm not going to lie. Anyway...more from me in a bit. Probably not too much of a bit, but yeah. :)
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