At least 3 people +myself (maybe more, and I'm not giving names) who I've been talking to, in some way or other claim to have some hidden part of them that they dare not show, or don't feel ready to... I wonder - could it really be that bad? I can't imagine it being much worse than some of the things I've seen come from less understanding people who don't even realise it (like my ex boss).
All these people seem good and genuine and I wonder if it's that they're ashamed of having a negative side in the face of their true personality (we ALL do), but they don't want to hurt anyone - I sometimes wonder if it has to be expressed to be dealt with, but there's also fear and doubt (understandably) of whether people would realise that it's just an issue for them and not their normal nature - I suppose people have to be prepared and hardened, and it's hard to know who to trust (even close friends and family might not go down deep enough). Without being able to show people our true mind, that trust and openness is understandably a hard thing to get - that I suppose is one of the conditions of life, although it does force us to look at people's true colours other ways (i.e. through behavioural patterns, speach, etc, it's all we have to go on, so must develop it)
To be able to look at ourselves critically deserves credit, not everyone can. Though don't be over-hard on yourselves :)
So mid this week I disappear to my parents for a bit. I think I might opt out of unnecessary internet and spend some time with my dog, and maybe look at exercising a decent amount. Read a book or two even. Hell I might even work on my car a touch if it's not too dark or anything (which it will be).
It'll be good for me, as nervous as I am about doing this first aid course I will be back at Outward Bound, and maybe I'll remember what I seem to have forgotten since my course. I'm due to get a letter from myself sometime soon, from Outward Bound. Give me a right kick in the arse it will, but that's all I know, I barely remember what I wrote but I do remember what I thought about and where I was, what I could see and how nice it was.
OK this one's really fresh. It was uploaded a little while ago!!
It's an original song that I put together over the last week or so.
On all of my other videos that contains my original songs, the videos are made up of images, in the style of a slideshow. So this one is a break from that pattern. This is my first Original song video that contains moving images. I wanted the content to reflect the meaning, and I reckon I've managed to achieve that.
The name of the song is "Don't wish it away". It's about those that want the days and years to be over. Maybe it's grief, or impatience. Or maybe something else. The video is centred on things disappearing, and also things going in reverse. There is symbolism in all of this.
Check out my new song:
Here's the regular digest of Youtube food (for me).
I've got 550 subscribers now.
The viewings of my channel are now 11,329, and the overall viewing figures all of my videos are now at 162,129.
I'm mulling over a cover version for my next video. There are three song I want to do. The songs are The excellent song "The air that I breathe" by the Hollies, "Running on faith" by the one and only Eric Clapton or "My father's eyes", also by Eric Clapton.
Cash aside, what is a good going away gift for someone going on a mission ship trip as an electrical engineer for two years? Where she will be going to third world countries and rarely having time to get anything.
She is only allowed 20 kilos (same as on a flight) so it can't be anything big or weighty and I don't think she'll have access to a lot of luxuries. I'm thinking food might be an idea, because that will only get lesser in weight and dissapear.
I was also considering of getting her a boomerang that all her friends could sign saying something like boomerang back to Australia, or whatever, but even that might be too big in weight. Can always cut a card into that shape alongside the gift. It can't be too time consuming either, they work on a schedule.
The next video was the third of my original songs that I uploaded to Youtube. There isn't any percussion in this song, but it's slow, and doesn't really need it. I tried to be general with the lyrics so that they could have a wider meaning.
The title of the song is "Blow away", and it's generally about someone reflecting on previous relationships, and how they feel responsible for the end of them.
love
