Attachment @ MindSay

Well ... I knew this day would come, and frankly, I thought it would come faster than it has, but that doesn't make it any easier.  You know how some possessions take on special meaning because of the circumstances one might attach to them?  It's true.  Silly, maybe, but true. 

I know lots of people have gone through the emotional and psychological process of divorce both online here and in my circle of friends.  Each of us deals in our own way, of course.  Perhaps the hardest thing for me through that time was the feeling that such a big part of my life had been "wasted."  Fortunately, I have 3 incredible kids to prove that is not an accurate assessment!  :)  Nevertheless, those thoughts swarmed me for about a year after our separation.  It was during this time, after losing my teaching position, my marriage, and our family van within a few months, that God blessed me with the Mustang convertible!  I received it as a "love gift" from Him.  I have thoroughly enjoyed it, but ... it now has 140+ thousand miles on it (63k when I got it 4 yrs ago), and ... well ... it's time.  Time to move on ...

My son is laughing at me, but ... I'm saying goodbye to a "friend."  Some of you will understand ... maybe!  :)

Thanks for your indulgence ...

~ B

there is no pain that cuts deeper than love

he was right you know

who you are is of no concequence

but he was right

i was misguided

more fool him than me though

id love to be a fly on the wall

what is love

love is lust with more of an emotional attachment

they will all realise

one day after the explosion

after the dust settles

they will realise that i was right

i predicted this

actualy i know this

i know it will end badly

ive always known

but when all is said and done

death is the way

death has always been the way

but for me

for me death holds more pain than realese

i have commited horrific crimes

and in death

all your crimes are paid for in some form of pain

i doubt i could cope

i dont know how im coping now

but i am

and i must thank her

she has great tast is music

music for a fucked up life

i will always love her

she believes that unrequited love is pathetic

so do i

so what does that mean for me

such is the curse of my existance

i will always be here to burry the ones i love

and to pick up the peices

but i am never to be happy

as to why

its my punishment

I Love you DE and that will never change

but still i cant help feeling like this was just a mind fuck to get back at him

i know we had something

and that will always be there

i hope you realise it b4 it is too late

shad

When I'm in moods like this, I like to start with a definition. I don't really know why, but something inside me compells me to do it.

1. The act of attaching or the condition of being attached.
2. Something, such as a tie, band, or fastener, that attaches one thing to another.
3. A bond, as of affection or loyalty; fond regard.

I'm not really sure what to put here. I want to put everything I'm thinking, but can't seem to grasp the concept of what is being flung around my mind. It's like a mass foodfight of memories, thoughts and words. Chaos. Yet, the question still remains, where do I start. A distinct phrase of words that keep raising their head in my mind, like the nasty pop-ups you get when you least want them to appear? Or should I start with an emotion, and go from there?

I guess it's a bit too late for that now though, seeing as I've already started.

What's done is done, no amount of conversation or wishing can fix the past. I fell asleep for a bit, I dreamt. It wasn't good what I was dreaming, I'd go so far as to say the opposite... and to wake up with you holding me... it didn't make me smile. What you said though, it was right. Maybe I am too attached to you.