Around @ MindSay 
bored
Why life is so uncertain, why when we sleep we sleep as if we know, all about our world in which we are, and then when we wake up in the morning, something has been so drasticaly changed..why u wake up in an alien world....
I am sad, and may be thus I am tired, I just am so angry at myself that sometimes, I feel as if I cannot control the anger on myself, Its frustrating to be helpless, Its frustrating to be see things u most cherished pass by you, and u cannot even give it a last shot to catch it...U know its too late and with the fear that you will never have that one most cherished dream of your ever again, in your hands.....
I donot know, how people and books say, wake up to a new day everyday, Is it really possible..Is it really possible to do a shift delete and erase what pain you were going thru yesterday....
I know, Its my fault that I am standing here but then the randomness comes into play, you do somethings and then somethings happen, I never thought some of things can take gori shape when the picture is hazy, u start taking a tree as the most scary thning you hav ever seen...
Haziness is what i have created around me all my life, never let the clear view peep to others, and thus I was all perception some thought me as a tree and some as a ghost, but i never bothered, I never even stopped to clear it, I guess I was too happy in my own hazy world......
And today, in that haziness, I am suffocating, I want to get out, I want to show my real self, I want to be me, but now, I am stuck in that haziness, as It was my fate My destiny....I want to shout to let know my presence , that i have a feeling which has always been clear, which has always been the most beutiful sunrize in my hazy world...but I am numb canot speak..too scared...
I donot want all it..I want to come out...I want to breathe...I want to live......
Well, Rachel and I were messing around in my room, trying to be so secretive and what not. It was all romantic and shit for a little bit but then she had this bright idea that she should start tickling me. I'm not the most ticklish person I know but I am pretty ticklish. I let her pretend she was winning for a bit and then I grabbed her and pulled her towards me. It was now a race to see who could win. Would she pull away or would I get some tickin' action on her. I tried to pin her down and get all frisky with her.
However, she was pulling away from me and managed to stand up. We both kept pulling both our respective ways and I guess the force just happened to pull us apart. I went flying backwards onto the bed and she flew across the room smashing into my guitar which was sitting on the stand, and then she hit the wall, lucky for her the guitar broke most of her fall.
Needless to say my guitar smashed in half and the wall has a huge chunk out of it. Pretty much SUCKS! It wasn't the kind of suckage I was hoping for tonight, but who ever gets what they want anyway? The whole thing completley sucks so bad that I want to vomit and probably should so I can the nausea out of my stomach.
I am a pretty avid guitar player and don't know what I'm going to do now. Obviously I can just get a new guitar but my freaking wall has a hole the size of a big egg in it and my parents are probably going to revert to the old days and get the belt out and whip my ass raw. Also my favorite guitar in history is smashed up. I didn't even get any action from Rachel because let me tell you, when your're fucking wall gets smashed in and your guitar gets destroyed you kind of lose any horniness you might have had moments earleir.
In the interview he deals with his "dark side". (Given the same language was used by Ted Haggard and his handlers in those recent scandals I think this must be fundy-speak for "screwing around on one's spouse.") Gingrich has had two messy divorces (one of which he initiated while his wife was in the hospital struggling with cancer) and in this interview he confesses that he was secretely screwing around while impeaching Pres. Clinton of lying about um...screwing around. He later resigned under his own various ethical clouds.
BUT, my real question is about this quote in the interview:
"In terms of my own life, let me say that I was raised initially as a Lutheran and I ended up converting and becoming a Southern Baptist when I was in graduate school at Saint Charles Avenue Baptist Church..."
Does one really "convert" from Lutheranism to Southern Baptist-ism? If that really happened would someone actually use the term "convert"? In my mind he just doesn't have the jargon QUITE right here... Could he possibly be FAKING??? After all, he's seen that the Christian right just loves these little stories--they'd actively campaign for and elect soap-on-a-rope if it had a good story of being saved from the "dark side." (Cf. George Bush and again, Tom DeLay--they're still buying these tall tales.)
BTW, Gingrich is giving the commencement speech at Jerrry Fallwell's Liberty University. Stay tuned.
Got woken up this morning at 415 am. I had to drive my mother to her job and drop her off. Then I came back home, and returned to my bed.
Where I slept until 930 - 1030 am. Finally deciding to get up. I turned on my new lava lamp. Then went about dusting my diecast collection, and the rest of my room. Upon completing that task, and being annoyed by a kitten during that task. I brought up the TV guide and found NASCAR Busch series qualifying in Mexico. I watched that until 1 PM. When I had to back to my mother job, to pick her up, and bring her home.
Upon returning home, we found dinner. Which for me was Italian sausage and fries. Then I returned to my room, until about 4 PM. When my mother and myself went to the eastern hills mall. I also stopped at my job to pick up next weeks work schedule. Which I could of guessed and got right.
At the mall we got a Sabres magnate for the refrigerator. I also bought my mother an Irish teddy bear, from the little Irish import shop the mall has. Then we headed for home.
Where I returned to my room ,and to my TV. I just watched the history of star trek. Right now I am watching tonight's buffalo Sabres hockey game.
A co-worker is suppose to be getting me Mr. Daniel Breirre's #48 , autograph over the weekend. I gave her a hockey puck on Friday to have him sign. For this reason alone, I cant wait till Monday.
The only other thing on my mind , and the title of tonight's blog is.... "am I spending to much" on stuff that I am buying at the mall ? Am I buying to much? Am I buying stuff just for the sake of buying stuff? I mean I think my room is getting pretty full of shit. All shit I like, but never the less, there's a lot of it.
I mean the only way I can avoid buying stuff, is by not going to the mall in the first place, but that's like one of the only things to do in this town. Other then going to work everyday of the week. I mean seriously, what is there to do around here?
So, lets just say, if anyone wants to do anything, and would like some company, feel free to ask me. Ok ? I mean what is the worst thing that can happened from asking me?
~ bored / around
Okay not one of the update blogs.......I am having problems with my camera. But I thought you would all like to know I am married to an Idiot Out Wondering Around.........aka an Iowan!!!!
I am lucky though. My Iowan moved out of state when he graduated highschool and has lived on the East Cost and on board a Navy Ship for 10 years. And when I married him after 3 years of my Nebraskan ass dealing with Idiots Out Wondering Around I conviniced my Iowan to get the fuck out of that State. Iowa is only good for shopping and such in if you live near the boarders.
The incident that promoted this blog happened yesterday....late in the afternoon. My hubby has a fucked over rebuilt dodge f250 power disel truck. It is actually a pretty nice truck but it has some shitty ass tires on it right now until I can get them replaced. Now we are living in Northeast NE where we have a lot of snow at the moement. Not near as much as New York and other Eastern states but a lot. Actually this is normal for us but we have been spoiled by nice warm winters in the past years.
Okay now that I told you about his truck let me tell you what he has been doing since we have moved back.....my ol man has a chainsaw fetish. He loves them! He finds old ones and refurbishes them and gets them running again. He is what I call an amature lumberjack. Well since we have been back and near trees and woods that need to be thinned out and taken down due to dieses and dead growth, Randy has been in lumberjack heaven taken down trees and cutting up wood.
Randy decieded to get it into his head to drive the truck down by the various barns on the road and then power it up into our yard near the old orchard that he is cleaning up now. Our yard is not flat but is basically a hill on all sides but one! He has bad tires on his truck. All I hear about when I want to use the truck for long drives is how bad the tires are. The Idiot Out Wondering Around then does this stuipid shit and what does he do? There is a dead tree near the garden area of the yard and he goes slidding in his truck and hits the tree on the driver's side and has the truck wedged against the tree.
We get it unstuck after a good hour using a wench, my clothes line poles (the wench was run off of that-they are sunk in with concrete), and me driving back and forth. Oh and a bit of kitty litter! Once we got it off the side of the tree, I backed the dayum truck off of the snow covered hill (about 8-10 inches of snow) and got it back up to the house.
Needless to say I was livid! The man got called everyname in the book including Idiot Out Wondering Around and a dumb ass from Iowa! I also made a point and pointing out how he constantly bitches about his tires and then what does he do! Tries to take his truck up a snow covered hill and hits a tree!
The truck isn't that bad of condition. He is lucky cause if I would have had to pay to fix his dayum driver side door it would have came out of his ass! It has a slight dent in the driver's door and some lovely bark color scratches but can easily be fixed.
My yard is tore up though and I am not to happy about that. And Randy can't take the tree down yet cause he is going to have to use a tractor and some of help to make sure the top doesn't hit the house!
Okay now you all know that I am married to an Idiot Out Wondering Around.......aka Iowan!
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