Around @ MindSay

I think sex should be passionate.

I have never had sex.

But I want it to be with someone I love.

I love Andy.

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Besides that, I have been intimate with a few of my friends, all of which none of them know about the others! >.<

None of it is exclusive, so I'm not cheating or anything. But it's still exciting.

There's this one guy I know who has shown interest in fooling around, and I think we might sometime when we hang out.

Another guy I know... he had long hair  before and all I could think about was touching him and kissing him all over! It's wierd to admit, and I haven't told anyone this.. well maybe one person kinda. But damn... he was in my class and he sits in wierd positions sometimes.. usually spreading his legs. And it just makes you think! Damn. And he's not in bad shape, and he's a funny guy, too. We don't really talk anymore though.

And this other guy! We went in the woods and fooled around, but then he got up and left. And then we hung out again, and one day he decided he doesn't want to be my friend, with no explanation. But besides all that depressing bit, he's really hot and a great kisser and has the cutest penis I've ever seen! <3

And a friend I've had for a while, I played with him.

And his and my friend, we fooled around, too.

Trying to preoccupy myself with sexy things, as you can probably tell.

Around

 

Am I not thankful enough?

Is that why it needs to hurt so much?

 

Or was it just too good

And felt better than it should?

 

We were so close

And there was

A lot to lose

 

Why does everything

that ends

have to mean so much?

 

Why is all that is

Good, never ending?

And I think of all

 the happy memories.

 

When it was so good

Too good.

 

And the fights are repressed

and you feel more depressed

because they’re not

and you’re not

and it’s not

what used to be.

 

When you talked all the time

And got along fine

You remember those moments

Like sparkles in the dark.

 

It’s the same thing over

Only looking back

is it a perfect clover.

 

WORKING ON

SYMPOSIUM ATOMIC DOUBLE OVER DOWN (6 ADD)
DUCKING TORQUE (5 ADD)
TRIADON (6 ADD)
SPINNING PDX TORQUE (6 ADD)
SPINNING DUCKING PDX BLENDER (7 ADD)
ATOMIC TORQUE (6 ADD)
SPINNING DUCKING SYMPOSIUM FAR DOUBLE OVER DOWN (7 ADD)
ATOMIC SYMPOSIUM DOUBLE OVER DOWN (6 ADD)

GOING TRIPLESS

DOUBLE OVER DOWN > DUCKING PDX MIRAGE > ATOMIC BUTTERFLY > STEPPING SAME BUTTERFLY > DUCKING OSIS > TORQUE

HAVE HIT

SPINNING SYMPOSIUM FAR DOUBLE OVER DOWN (6 ADD)
SPINNING DUCKING FAR DOUBLE OVER DOWN (6 ADD)
DUCKING PDX BLENDER (6 ADD)
STEPPING DOWN DOUBLE DOWN (5 ADD)
SPINNING PDX WHIRL (5 ADD)
SPINNING FAR DOUBLE OVER DOWN (5 ADD)
DUCKING PARADOX WHIRL (5 ADD)
ATOMIC DOUBLE OVER DOWN (5 ADD)
PDX TORQUE (5 ADD)
DUCKING FAR DOUBLE OVER DOWN (5 ADD)
DIVING DOWN DOUBLE DOWN (5 ADD)
PARADOX DA DA CURVE (5 ADD)
DOUBLE OVER DOWN SWIRL (5 ADD)
DOUBLE OVER DOWN OSIS (5 ADD)
SYMPOSIUM ATOMIC BUTTERFLY (5 ADD)
ATOMIC DUCKING BUTTERFLY (5 ADD)
SYMPOSIUM STEPPING OP OSIS (5 ADD)
TRIPLE OVER DOWN (5 ADD)
TRIPLE AROUND THE WORLD (4 ADD)

Why life is so uncertain, why when we sleep we sleep as if we know, all about our world in which we are, and then when we wake up in the morning, something has been so drasticaly changed..why u wake up in an alien world....

 

I am sad, and may be thus I am tired, I just am so angry at myself that sometimes, I feel as if I cannot control the anger on myself, Its frustrating to be helpless, Its frustrating to be see things u most cherished pass by you, and u cannot even give it a last shot to catch it...U know its too late and with the fear that you will never have that one most cherished dream of your ever again, in your hands.....

 

I donot know, how people and books say, wake up to a new day everyday, Is it really possible..Is it really possible to do a shift delete and erase what pain you were going thru yesterday....

 

I know, Its my fault that I am standing here but then the randomness comes into play, you do somethings and then somethings happen, I never thought some of things can take gori shape when the picture is hazy, u start taking a tree as the most scary thning you hav ever seen...

 

Haziness is what i have created around me all my life, never let the clear view peep to others, and thus I was all perception some thought me as a tree and some as a ghost, but i never bothered, I never even stopped to clear it, I guess I was too happy in my own hazy world......

 

And today, in that haziness, I am suffocating, I want to get out, I want to show my real self, I want to be me, but now, I am stuck in that haziness, as It was my fate My destiny....I want to shout to let know my presence , that i have a feeling  which has always been clear, which has always been the most beutiful sunrize in my hazy world...but I am numb canot speak..too scared...

 

I donot want all it..I want to come out...I want to breathe...I want to live......

  Well, Rachel and I were messing around in my room, trying to be so secretive and what not.  It was all romantic and shit for a little bit but then she had this bright idea that she should start tickling me.  I'm not the most ticklish person I know but I am pretty ticklish.  I let her pretend she was winning for a bit and then I grabbed her and pulled her towards me.  It was now a race to see who could win.  Would she pull away or would I get some tickin' action on her.  I tried to pin her down and get all frisky with her. 

   However, she was pulling away from me and managed to stand up.  We both kept pulling both our respective ways and I guess the force just happened to pull us apart.  I went flying backwards onto the bed and she flew across the room smashing into my guitar which was sitting on the stand, and then she hit the wall, lucky for her the guitar broke most of her fall. 

    Needless to say my guitar smashed in half and the wall has a huge chunk out of it.  Pretty much SUCKS!  It wasn't the kind of suckage I was hoping for tonight, but who ever gets what they want anyway?  The whole thing completley sucks so bad that I want to vomit and probably should so I can the nausea out of my stomach. 

   I am a pretty avid guitar player and don't know what I'm going to do now.  Obviously I can just get a new guitar but my freaking wall has a hole the size of a big egg in it and my parents are probably going to revert to the old days and get the belt out and whip my ass raw.  Also my favorite guitar in history is smashed up.  I didn't even get any action from Rachel because let me tell you, when your're fucking wall gets smashed in and your guitar gets destroyed you kind of lose any horniness you might have had moments earleir.