Animal Companions @ MindSay 
Devin O'Branagan is planning a sequel to her latest novel, RED HOT PROPERTY. It's going to be called RED HOT and she is having a charity raffle to benefit Best Friends Animal Society, the world's largest sanctuary for homeless, abandoned, and abused animals: www.bestfriends.org. The winner of the raffle will have their pet's name and likeness used as a character in her new novel, RED HOT. To find out details about how to enter please go to www.RedHotNovel.com. Click on the Best Friends Raffle tab at the top and it will tell you all the details. It is an amazing, worthy cause. Anyone who loves animals needs to know about this. Please spread the word!
It's obvious to me that some of you clearly don't think Shadow's death meant a god damn thing to me, so I've decided to go a head and relive the pain of losing my BEST FRIEND and re-type something I wrote on Saturday after I got home. If you read my blog that day, it will make sense to you. I can't this.
Saturday, January 21, 2006, 12:59pm
My mom is watching Boondock Saints. It made me crack the only real smile that I probably will all day. And now, how do you describe what it's like to sit in the room of a vet's office and watch your best friend die? To see the life fade from his eyes and the warmth flee from his body? I can't. There's no way to describe what that's like. Before we left, my mom took some pictures of me with Shadow, and I took a couple of her with Shadow. I held him in my arms for a moment and then she asked Brian if he wanted to say goodbye. And he did! I didn't think he cared! (And as I read on his blog when I came back, it turns out that he didn't really.) That's when I knew this was real and tears started rolling from my eyes. It was hard for me to cry in from of my mom, even now, especially because she made a comment about us crying before we go so we don't "look like bluthering idiots" when we get there. It's good to see that her attitudes about crying still haven't changed. We put him in the carrier and were off. I tried to feed him cat treats there in the back of the van, but he wouldn't eat them. Did he know? Is it possible for him?
Once at the vet's office, they took him in the back to get him ready. There was a cute German Shepard puppy in the lobby waiting for his check up, too. His name was Max, Rex's father's name, and both of them died long ago. This is the state of mind I was in. Eventually the technician came out and let us know he still had a lot of fight in him. I'd discovered that last night when I tried to take off his collar, which they did. My mom put it in her purse. We were able to have some time with Shadow before the vet and the technician came back, before he'd be gone forever. We just sat there and pet him. At one point the Technician came back and asked us something about what we wanted on the plaque. (It says "Shadow 'Jet', 1988-2006. We'll love & miss you always." She wanted to know if we wanted a plus or the "and sign", as she said and most people say.) We sat there with him and then after I don't know how many minutes, the vet and the technician came back into the room. The vet hugged both my mom and I, and it was time.
I can't believe how fast it happened. My mom started talking about how she had doubts, but he was struggling so much and was breathing so hard...The vet agreed that it was his time, and the technician told us that earlier a couple had to bring in their dog. It acted spunky and happy there, but they said that the dog had been up since 4:00am whining in pain. At least we weren't alone.
I would have never known when he was gone if the vet hadn't been there with her stethascope. They'd both layed him on his side so they could get the needle into his femoral artery, and it ultimately made him look more natural in death. His eyes didn't close, but as the minutes passed his pupils grew. We were there for at least 20 minutes after he was dead. I just kept petting his fur as if he still had life inside of him. My mom eventually said that it was time to go, and with that I gave him one last kiss on his kitty forehead, threw away our tissues, and left.
I thought about riding in the back with the empty carrier, but didn't. I wondered what ironic song the radio would play on the way home. Luckily it was just Elton John's "Honky Cat". And it was over.
1:28pm
Because it's so incredibly obvious that he was just a cat. It's not like he was an actual family member to me, anyway. It's not like i really mean it when i say that he was my best friend. It's not like it was weird seeing his muscles limp and feeling his body get cold. No no no, this hasn't been dificult for me at all, I don't need any prayers or support at all from anybody, because after all, he was just a fucking cat, nothing more. But that's right, now i remember that this was just a waste of time because no one reads entries this long, anyway, especially not here, not on this blog. some of you make me so incredibly sick.
